this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
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[–] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 17 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

My dad is a semi stranger to me. Lots of spans of time without regular contact, and he doesn't talk about himself a lot. My mom tells me stories (and while I get that everyone has some bias, she's not a liar), but the few times I've brought them up with my dad he just says it's not true but won't follow up with his version. When I push, he gets angry and leaves. It's just not worth it, and I belive my mom, anyway. Her version is most likely close enough to how things transpired.

It makes me sad when I'm around my good friend, because her dad calls her every day to check in and chat. My dad only checks in when he's heard concerning news about someone else and it somehow remindeds him of me. I do reach out when good news happens to me, but I generally get negative or pessimistic responses from him, like the news is never good enough for his standards.

He got remarried and his new wife has pretty awful anger issues. I've messaged less because of it, so now he's even more of a stranger. I don't know. I can't force more of a relationship when he's just not interested.

My mom and I, on the other hand, are very close and chat almost daily. We have our own issues, and she's struggling with her health right now, so I'm even more involved. She's turning 70, and I've recently noticed there's been a shift where she's a bit more child-like and I'm more of the adult who gives advice on how to handle things and what to do. She's moving closer to me now that I've taken a job in another state and gets excited about us doing stuff together again. I call her with good news and we celebrate. She's very supportive.