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I always stress to my wife that this is not unethical at all. We are raising two autistic boys. That is a literally insanity-inducing level of non-stop effort. If we get to get on rides faster on the rare occasion we go to theme parks, that is not cheating the system. Our kids have needs, and they have the legal right to have those needs met. Any extra joy we get from not having to wait in absurd lines is easily offset by the other challenges we will face.
Dude, live your life. If I see you in a fast pass line it's really none of my business what's going on in your life and what you're dealing with. I can understand where your wife is coming from but fuck what other people think.