this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
523 points (93.9% liked)
Programmer Humor
19463 readers
376 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
can we ban web developers who call themselves "developers"?
also php programmers who call themselves anything?
Nah, no need for this kind of gatekeeping. Anyone who deals with js and its billions of frameworks on a daily basis deserves to be called a developer.
Agreed.
We also deserve to be called, every so often, to see how we're doing.
Heyyy its your super duper new project manager! I hope you are feeling a-mazing because you are my a-ce on the team. Anyways i need you to do things twice as fast, because we are running low on budget after sales promised another feature without extra billing and the CEO already signed off on it. Please make this happen somehow. If this project isn't succesfull i'll get fired and have to sell the house. But no pressure!
Do you even know why you hate PHP?
For me, it was this
https://www.php.net/manual/en/function.mysql-real-escape-string.php
Note that that hasn't existed in PHP for years.
Blame MySQL for that. The PHP API just mirrors the MySQL C API of the same name. https://dev.mysql.com/doc/c-api/8.0/en/mysql-real-escape-string.html
Modern PHP doesn't use it - any modern code uses PDO with prepared statements.
Never used it in over 23 years of using PHP. Also, I don't thing that has existed anymore for the past 10 years or so?
Seriously, if we're going to do this, can we also bitch about painful java apps from 10 years ago, or the hilariously shitty modules in node from 10 years ago? I can go on for a while, but you hopefully get the point.
The question was why do I hate it, and it was because of this. I don't understand your confusion.
My confusion is that you hate it tosay because someone over a decade ago wrote 10 times the same complaint that was mostly fixed already since about a decade ago
yeah, i've used it and it's absolutely trash...
but here's an article that sums up my feelings: https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/
That article is over a decade old. A lot of these issues aren't relevant any more or have been fixed. Some weren't even PHP issues, for example mysql_real_escape_string is a MySQL API (https://dev.mysql.com/doc/c-api/8.0/en/mysql-real-escape-string.html).
PHP isn't the best language, but it's not as bad as some people claim it to be, especially if you use a good framework like Laravel.
lol, no... it sucks
trust me, if you've already gotten used to php, you're smart enough to learn a better language.
really just use node if you're going that sorta route...
Nice troll
JavaScript has a lot of the same issues as PHP. It doesn't have some of the same core library issues because it doesn't have a good core library.
ECMA 6 has had drastic improvements over the past js...
however node is still infinitely better than php, and since javascript is inexorably a part of web development, it's a lot more logical to use it on the backend too...
i don't mean that node is great, i mean that it's an easy transition from php, a billion times better, and much more modern and useful... so a very natural transition...
Sure, but it still lacks basic built-in features. For example, why do maps and sets not have sort or filter methods? In Node, why is there no built-in way to connect to a database of any sort? Why can Node.js apps only use a single time zone? Requiring libraries for everything is not ideal as the libraries vary wildly in quality and they can end up either abandoned or containing malware (which has happened several times in the Node ecosystem).
They each have their pros and cons, depending on use case. Node.js does some things better than PHP, but the opposite is true too.
wordpress does not power 40% of the web...
im not going to argue any more than that because this is a humorous type community, and ya'll are getting too serious.
i hope you enjoy all of your "programming" with your garbage little "language" and POS word🤢press🤮
p.s. notice how everyone who argues in favor of php and wordpress ONLY know that language and framework?
what a curious thing...
lol I don't use PHP any more... I primarily use C#. I can still see the advantages of PHP without it being a language I use day-to-day.
Do you have any data that proves otherwise? Because all available data I've seen disagrees with you.
https://wordpress.org/40-percent-of-web/
https://w3techs.com/technologies/details/cm-wordpress
It's not just small sites. A bunch of major publications use WordPress too. Forbes and TechCrunch both use WordPress for example.
lol
also downvotes aren't supposed to be used just because you disagree with someone's opinion. Your comments seem like a typical redditor so please just go back to Reddit if you're going to use downvotes that way.
i see you've switched troll tactics...
just chill the fuck out, do whatever you want with what programming language you want, and leave me alone, dan
oh and, adding a library isn't very hard
Adding a third-party library in PHP is just as easy. The
composer.jsonfile looks very similar to apackage.json.i was responding to your comment about js not have a good core library...
php having libraries is completely moot
That is literally a decade old article with basically 1 complaint that sometimes functions are strpos() and sometimes str_len(). Anything else it's saying is "I don't even know how to say it". Really now? Any of your complaints have been fixed since about a decade ago, so why don't you give it a try?
lol, no...
also this is a joke sub so stop trying to sea lion me about it.
also your "summation" of the article is pretty stupid
I'm a full-stack web developer and am involved all the way through including cloud infrastructure, API development, database creation/maintenance, test automation, architecture etc.
I guess what makes a "developer" in your context different? Embedded? Kernel?
Only those who code in the same language as I am can be called developers. Everyone else is just an impostor and their technology doesn't matter! Real programmers use my language of choice
If you don't daily x86 assembly, do you even know anything about computers?
Have you heard about our lord and savior Rust? 🙏
Just like my
$variablesI can be anything I want. Deal with it! 🫳🎤As if webapps aren’t usurping mobile and desktop apps, anything not C# or .NET is a toy language?
c# and .net? ewww....
gimme c, c++, go, rust, ruby, python...
and umm, no dude, native apps are a lot more powerful than web apps... they are not usurped at all
there's more of them, but there's more scooters than motorcycles...
So if I'm using Rust to write a web app that compiles to WebAsm, what am I?
a dingo
Scooters are more efficient, get you where you need to go and cost less to maintain. Your analogy is actually pretty good in that regard.
yeah and they only get you around the neighborhood, any actual distance and a motorcycle is infinitely better...
but, it figures you'd miss that, since you're a dumby dumbo mcpoopoo head webdev
Now you’re throwing ad hominem around. You don’t need to be toxic to communicate your point, web development did at one point have a lot of growing to do and I can admit that there is still plenty of progress to be made. In 2024 however, ignoring the web ecosystem as any type of developer is purely traditionalist elitism.
bruh, this is programming_humor... chill, im sure you're a fine human being
Please refrain of using offensive words, specially if you are trying to actually communicate an idea that is by all means demeaning to other people. The community is about humour, keep that in mind ;)
word, "dumb ass" was supposed to be a joke too, but i edited it to be less offensive
To be fair, we do develop stuff. Nothing implies quality, so it’s not like we’re misrepresenting anything. Personally, anyone who calls themselves a software engineer and works with any web-related technology (PHP, JavaScript, etc) are the ones to be shunned.
🖕
sorry, my browser doesn't support unicode