this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2023
41 points (97.7% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26980 readers
1682 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Are you able to just kind of socialize and get involved in stuff without as many second thoughts? Or make and share stuff with less of an imposter syndrome or whatever you might call it when you're uncomfortable being associated with your work?

Or is it like so many things, where it kind of depends on how things are going that day?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Nemo@midwest.social 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have very positive self image.

just kind of socialize and get involved in stuff without as many second thoughts

Yes, this is easy for me. It's still tiring, but I don't worry about it before or afterwards. I still get embarrassed if I make a faux pas, of course, but I move on and try to learn from it.

make and share stuff with less... uncomfortable being associated with your work

Not sure I understood this part. If I was uncomfortable with what I made, I wouldn't share it. I'd try again until I had something worthwhile. Not perfect, but at least interesting.

As I understand it, "imposter syndrome" is a feeling like one is uniquely unqualified compared to everyone else. But the reality is that most people are more-or-less bullshitting their way through life, outside of a half-dozen areas of actual competency. The reality is also that it's okay to still be learning something you're trying to do. And the reality is also that no one remembers your mistakes better than you.

Everyone is most comfortable doing things we're already good at. But it's okay to not be comfortable, and to not be good at something, as long as the stakes aren't too high (like, you should be good at driving before taking the wheel of a busfull of schoolchildren, obviously).

Oh, and remember that most people are amoral idiots with no sense of beauty and their opinions aren't worth shit. If they don't like your stuff, so what? They know nothing. The people worth impressing are the ones most likely to be understanding and compassionate, because they're the ones who struggled and strove and valued learning themselves.

[–] ALostInquirer@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not sure I understood this part. If I was uncomfortable with what I made, I wouldn’t share it. I’d try again until I had something worthwhile. Not perfect, but at least interesting.

To clarify, what I was trying to describe there was not being uncomfortable with what was made, just like...Having to be the one presenting/sharing it because of self-image/confidence issues. Sort of like you could be proud of an essay you wrote, but the moment someone asks you to read it for others or develop it into something more robust that might be published, you just want to totally disappear.

I wasn't really sure how to put it when I wrote the post awhile ago, but maybe this helps a little.

[–] Nemo@midwest.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ah, so, you're confident in your work, but you don't want any attention on you personally? That I can sympathize with for sure, even though I'm a bit of an exhibitionist personally.

[–] ALostInquirer@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Basically, yeah. Not really sure how much it's to do with self-image/confidence or what (maybe it's plain ol' social anxiety? 🤷‍♀️ ), hence that side of the question.

Imposter syndrome felt like the closest fit at the time, but it's definitely not an exact match.