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I mean it's all horrifying on moral and human levels. There's just also that world historical cool zone level where you're seeing decades happen in weeks. If you're watching a war like this develop as a meaningful geopolitical event, you have to either abstract it into competing systems or be broken by focusing on the personal/moral tragedy of every death. Emergency medicine is also interesting to me because if I only think about it in human terms it's nothing but hopeless trauma and gazing into the abyss.
Except I'm not watching it like a geopolitical event. I am watching it as a conscription eligible Russian citizen in a city with a whole lot of targetable infrastructure (including my own workplace), and that has already been attacked prior.
How are you holding up comrade?
Poorly. Distracting myself with reading Marx (letter to Vera Zasulich).
God bless you mate. May you live to see better days.