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Actually, yes it was an affair. They started having a romantic relationship in 2019, and he was married until 2021. That's the literal definition of an affair. They also snuck around to hotel rooms and played all sorts of shell games with money to cover it up. They freely admitted it all on the stand, and even after that the judge still doesn't believe they were fully forthcoming.
With that said.....yes, they are consenting adults. Yes, their affair has absolutely nothing to do with Trump's case. But that's actually kinda the point. Regardless of the cases before her, she engaged in unethical (at best) conduct, was not forthcoming under testimony, and should consider herself lucky if she doesn't get disbarred. If she weren't the one who was the lead on the Trump case, I'd be willing to bet there would be a lot less support for her and a lot more calls for her resignation. She is likely benefitting because others don't want to see the Trump case fall apart entirely by having her removed.
That case is, far and away, the biggest case that she will have in her career. Probably the biggest and most consequential case in US history. In a case of this magnitude, you get one shot. You cross every T, dot every I. You engage in exactly fucking nothing that would even tangentally affect this case or hint at even a whiff of impropriety. To take on this case while engaging in that kind of unethical (if not outright illegal) conduct just shows hubris, a complete lack of judgement, and a complete disregard for the importance of the case that she herself brought or the impact that her actions could have on her career, the case, and even the country as a whole.