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Funniest part of reading this all is that I am repulsed by trans folk. Sorry, that's just that. However I do believe that they should have the right to be. Like, just be - happy, yourself, who cares what others think/feel, they aren't kidnapping anyone to turn them trans, they are doing stuff to themselves only. Sheesh.
But I do still perceive myself in negative light due to that repulsion. And then I see news what happens in USA and I am like, whaaaa. Cuz even if I did act upon that repulsion, that's going weird way. Like, there's no any try at helping. It's not "Ew, unnatural, we need to fix their psyche" (WHICH IS EVIL) or "Ew, they need reaffirmation about their sex!" (...which is barely better). No, straight up "Trans should go on without any kind of help". Why? Wtf. xD
Edit: Hell, even worse. Trans should be persecuted for having feelings/perceptions not dependent on their own volition. Yay. Wtf is wrong with people.
I kind of appreciate the "I don't need to understand or like you to support" attitude, but repulsion is a strong reaction.
Have you ever reflected upon the why?
Especially if you don't like that reaction in yourself in the first place, as you say, maybe it would be worth working on it?
Hah, I tried, yes. I feel it as unnatural and wrong, not sure why, can't really track it to my enviro or anything so I just gave up on it. Especially that in the end it does harm to no one. It's funny though seeing all the dislikes. Also, just in case - person that replied to you earlier wasn't me.
I'm sorry I didn't notice it wasn't you, I must have been tired. Glad you got I wasn't trying to judge, I'm neurodivergent and sometimes my communication is a bit off.
Since you're aware of it and actually try not to let it sway you towards hate, I suppose it's not that big of a deal, though I'm not trans so I could easily miss something here. I'm sorry about the dislikes too, though I understand why people have no patience in this regard, it gets tiresome to always fight and having to justify existing. Most possibly stopped reading at repulsed.
I would be majorly annoyed in your place, which is part of the reason I asked, but I'm quite obsessive in figuring out my internal working.
Mind if I ask some more? I'm also obsessed with understanding how people in general work, but I don't mean to bother and I apologize if this comes off as pushy.
If I understand correctly, you feel it unnatural as a concept. Have you ever actually met trans people? Often you can't even tell, but I suppose I sort of understand it can be confusing when you can. I would like to understand how it gets from confusing to repulsive though. Maybe something about the general climate more than your specific environment? It got quite violent recently, maybe you're sensitive to it? I get you don't know yourself, and again if this bothers you I apologize and I'll stop.
Not a problem at all, written medium and Lemmy likes to shove a buttload of characters in header so it's actually quite hard to notice who you are responding to. ^^
And meh. I knew what I was getting into when I wrote my comment. Wanted to see if it's gonna go reddit way or some other way. Sad to see it going reddit way, but people are people I guess.
Well, I can pretty much tell you that I most probably didn't meet any IRL. My country is...let's say a little old timey in that regard. I think, alas I may be wrong, that if I meet and befriended some my strong reaction may lessen, though I think it wouldn't entirely dissapear. And again, I cannot track it to outside variables - wasn't raised in hateful enviro towards trans, didn't participate in community that hates trans, and I am not a right winger sooo...yeah. Lack of vectors that would be responsible of repulsion, at least outside ones. Now, inside ones...I observed I do have tendency of sticking to the rules and "should"s a little too much, so it may come from applying that to sex - gender connection. Especially that in my native language there isn't different word for gender - both sex and gender are the same word. So yeah. I am not confused about them however. There's nothing confusing there. They were born as sex X, but feel as gender Y, so they are distressed. And hell, most of them can be cured by physically altering sex. Nothing to be confused about. Still, for my emotional part at least, it's unnatural and repulsive.
I think you can notice that I do actually slightly obsess about knowing myself too lol. How else I am to move forward if not by learning what makes me tick, eh? ^^
Preach, friend.
I think I can start to see a picture here.
Your direct environment may not have been hateful, but from your description the entire cultural setting, from language to customs, implanted some bias toward what is right and acceptable, or natural. It's a strong influence, and it frames the entire reality unless one goes out of their way to challenge it, as you did. Kudos for that.
I agree that rationally nothing is confusing, but if you grow up with a substructure that implies things should be a specific way, your emotions will follow that framework.
I see that in my country as well, and in myself still sometimes, as much as I try to counter it.
I agree that meeting and getting to know a trans person would probably help in that, especially since consciously you already know how things work. It may be difficult for the trans person though, even if you don't intend it to be. I'm sure you already know.
Thank you for your answer, and good luck in your slight obsession :)