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Preach, friend.
I think I can start to see a picture here.
Your direct environment may not have been hateful, but from your description the entire cultural setting, from language to customs, implanted some bias toward what is right and acceptable, or natural. It's a strong influence, and it frames the entire reality unless one goes out of their way to challenge it, as you did. Kudos for that.
I agree that rationally nothing is confusing, but if you grow up with a substructure that implies things should be a specific way, your emotions will follow that framework.
I see that in my country as well, and in myself still sometimes, as much as I try to counter it.
I agree that meeting and getting to know a trans person would probably help in that, especially since consciously you already know how things work. It may be difficult for the trans person though, even if you don't intend it to be. I'm sure you already know.
Thank you for your answer, and good luck in your slight obsession :)