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Not a problem at all, written medium and Lemmy likes to shove a buttload of characters in header so it's actually quite hard to notice who you are responding to. ^^
And meh. I knew what I was getting into when I wrote my comment. Wanted to see if it's gonna go reddit way or some other way. Sad to see it going reddit way, but people are people I guess.
Well, I can pretty much tell you that I most probably didn't meet any IRL. My country is...let's say a little old timey in that regard. I think, alas I may be wrong, that if I meet and befriended some my strong reaction may lessen, though I think it wouldn't entirely dissapear. And again, I cannot track it to outside variables - wasn't raised in hateful enviro towards trans, didn't participate in community that hates trans, and I am not a right winger sooo...yeah. Lack of vectors that would be responsible of repulsion, at least outside ones. Now, inside ones...I observed I do have tendency of sticking to the rules and "should"s a little too much, so it may come from applying that to sex - gender connection. Especially that in my native language there isn't different word for gender - both sex and gender are the same word. So yeah. I am not confused about them however. There's nothing confusing there. They were born as sex X, but feel as gender Y, so they are distressed. And hell, most of them can be cured by physically altering sex. Nothing to be confused about. Still, for my emotional part at least, it's unnatural and repulsive.
I think you can notice that I do actually slightly obsess about knowing myself too lol. How else I am to move forward if not by learning what makes me tick, eh? ^^
Preach, friend.
I think I can start to see a picture here.
Your direct environment may not have been hateful, but from your description the entire cultural setting, from language to customs, implanted some bias toward what is right and acceptable, or natural. It's a strong influence, and it frames the entire reality unless one goes out of their way to challenge it, as you did. Kudos for that.
I agree that rationally nothing is confusing, but if you grow up with a substructure that implies things should be a specific way, your emotions will follow that framework.
I see that in my country as well, and in myself still sometimes, as much as I try to counter it.
I agree that meeting and getting to know a trans person would probably help in that, especially since consciously you already know how things work. It may be difficult for the trans person though, even if you don't intend it to be. I'm sure you already know.
Thank you for your answer, and good luck in your slight obsession :)