/c/Vent: Vent about your life here

I've not commented on this yet, but I feel like giving my piece now. I hope other men will listen. As a cis male I think women feeling that a bear is safer to be around than a random man is justified. I've heard enough horror stories... And I'd say I have enough emotional intelligence to tell women have heard or even experienced far more. None of this is to say men can't be treated the same, or that only men are perpetrators of violence, sexual or otherwise.

I had to unlesrn a lot of misogynistic beliefs, which involved getting over the self victimization of thinking misandry is at all comparable to misogyny, let alone equally bad.

Something men also fail to realize, I've noticed, is that patriarchy hurts them too, far more than feminism ever could. Patriarchy involves men reaching for an ideal version of themselves that doesn't exist. Every man ever will have qualities the rest of society might consider feminine. It could be something like being gay, being sensitive like myself, or even something as simple as not liking the same things other men do... I've seen the kinds of people who end up at the top of patriarchal hierarchies, we all have. Strong men dictators or dictator wannabes like Trump or Putin are who I'm thinking of. These men are so insecure about their masculinity they artificially elevate it, and they may be worshipped by the masses who think one person can and will solve all their problems... but in the end it's clear men elevated to this level are the most disgusting type of people, inside and out. Their place of power makes it so that when they fuck up, they receive no consequences. Others do instead.

In Iran where I grew up, I'd say patriarchy was stronger than here in North America, if such a thing can be measured as such. More than here, there the only emotions we were allowed to feel was: fear of our higher ups, anger towards those lower, and lust towards those lower but only kept secret. No compassion, empathy, etc. Nobody really believes the Islamic Republic's propaganda, not even their supporters. But that doesn't mean it has zero effect. Boys I grew up around were so quick to dismiss simple rules of consent as if it was nothing. Segregating men and women makes things extremely tense between them, to out it mildly. And that's nor getting into how queer folk are affected.

I could go on endlessly about this, but I feel satisfied for now. I'll wnd with saying that the men who are mad at women expressing how they feel, telling them they're wrong should, instead, direct that anger at men who'd make them feel that way.