this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
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Comradeship // Freechat
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if they cause any damage, instead of going berserk on the child then clean it up, make the child repair the damage while explaining things. even tho force is a no, moral punishment is fair game, like temporally not permitting x activity or object due to poor behavior. and lastly going the other way around, reward good behavior without spoiling the child, to maybe create in him a sense of being productive instead of paranoia from being punished for small things.
idk, maybe I'm just projecting how i wanted to the raised because i was raised like a inmate, looked the wrong direction get the stick, instead of this turning me in to a upstanding person the only things i learned was to shut myself in, lie, cheat and wiggle my way out of situations to avoid punishment.
anyway i think you gonna do great, since you are showing concern now, instead on winging it and possibly taking revenge on what was done to you on your own child.
Trips outside the home are great rewards imo. Especially given I am bored of being terminally online. As for punishments maybe something across the lines of "clean the stove" or "no TV* for one week" would suffice, my response to lashouts would be "You need to learn how to behave without TV first before you can have it back".
*I refuse to give my child an iPad for obvious reasons since they need to learn basic shit like cleaning and reach the age of 14 first.
What reasons? Look up iPad kids. My brother is one albeit with a Samsung phone instead.
The best response to "Why can't I have iPad?" is "Because parents back in my day just give their kids iPads to keep them but didn't teach the children to behave properly, and I want you to behave without the iPad first which is why you can't have one until you're 14."
I feel like it would be better to explain why too much time on tech is bad and encourage them to spend their time doing physical things or reading rather than acting like they “don’t deserve” it.
Speaking of "why spend time irl" my reasoning would be "Because one day, you will have to focus on the real world and you will have less time on the iPad so it's better to prepare for thst day while you're still little."
“You’ll have to be a miserable people one day so don’t get used to freedom.” That’s exactly why I don’t want to be on my phone.
What I mean is “reading and drawing and exploring outside and playing games are much more fun than whatever fake stimulation you get from a screen.”
Which is the point of me not giving them gadgets until they're 14 and regular trips around the neighborhood (on foot) to begin with.
i with queer on this one, u should keep then from smartphones and similar due to it is not a reward for good behavior, it is a sedative to keep your child under control, and that is bad parenting, specially with how internet works now with shorts videos, content farm sewage, my nephew watches this i'm horrified with what i've seen.
ofc, today we can't shut someone off completely off screens nor play the reactinary macho that started to hunt dear at the age of 3, u can let him watch cartoons, movies or play video games, on tv ofc and for a limited time per day, consume stuff that is mind engaging instead of dopamin bombs we have on internet. and depending turns it into a bonding activity, like watch a movie together, play video games, discuss the movie after and so on.
but as queer said, focus primarily on physical stuff, going outside, specially with other children, estimule the habit of reading since a early age, it will be helpful in life.
Same. I know some places in my area that are worth visiting every once in a while and some I am considering going to. I also saw some pretty good childrens toys made of wood that look like they can last a lifetime and spark some memories of mine so why not.
And personally even if they turn 14 I am not letting them have the abomination known as TikTok (just Tiktok) until they are at least 17 and even then I don't want to hear ear-destroying Tiktok audio at the dinner table.