this post was submitted on 26 May 2024
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Gardening
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Look, you may not have intended it to come across that way, and I get that, but it does. I’m not trying to be mean to you or anything; we all have blind spots in communication because we can only see what we intend to say, and not how it comes across to others. I’m not involved in the conversation and that’s how it came across to me, and probably all the people downvoting you.
They are doing a thing following specific research that they are aware of and probably spent a lot of time on, and know they should be able to reproduce. As such their very first reply to you was them telling you they aren’t interested in expanding their project at this point, and sticking with what they were already planning/doing. I get that that message didn’t come across to you, but it’s absolutely there. You responded to that by saying “I guess nobody wants to discuss that” which is a guilt trip.
And I never said you were forcing anything, I said it honestly seems like that’s what you were trying to do. Which, from the outside, it really absolutely does.
Just because people post things and then don’t want to talk about something tangential to, or an expansion of, the thing they are posting about doesn’t mean they don’t want to discuss whatever it is, it means they don’t want to discuss it the same way you do, or go beyond where they already are. That’s not less valid, even if it upsets you personally to not get to have the conversation you want to.
Don't forget all the people that were already too tired from this conversation before even participating in it to pipe up and decided to just click on the down arrow instead. Here I am piping up, though. You should change your ways if you genuinely want to "have a discussion". You're very right that you don't have to do that for anybody here, though! We don't give a fuck if you ever do find that discussion you're after. But if that is something you might like in the future you might want to examine the way you go about that. But I get it, it's hard not to stay defensive once you've dug yourself in already.
In case it helps for the future, I also think you came off defensive from the first reply. If everyone but you seems like an asshole, you may want to look at how you're acting.
You usually seem pretty positive on here - if you're having a crappy day, I hope things feel better after a night's sleep.
Hey it might be worth another look… my read was that it was a very nice reply, just above this comment I’m responding to :)