having an SD card slot and headphone jack is much more important to me than durability

por que no los dos? i drop my phone on nearly a daily basis, because i am clumsy af, but the screen is more scratch and impact resistant than any screen protector i could purchase, and it's still fine after a couple years of that abuse. it still has a headphone jack and removable sim/sd tray, and if it ever gets dirty i can wash it in the sink. i do wish it had a removable battery and a better camera, but nothing's perfect i guess. there's no reason sturdiness or waterproofness need to get in the way of any functionality.

the trick is though, they don't market these sorts of phones to clumsy people, they more aim them at construction workers.