I've tried joining clubs or participating in events but even when I do manage to have successful conversations I can't manage to turn that into a friendship. Considering how the year just ended I'm not going to have a chance

I never minded being alone when I was younger but my loneliness is really starting to really affect me.

I've lost any internet in watching tv shows or movies or playing any games, I can't find the motivation to study and always feel tired.

I've also started to constantly fantasize about being in a romantic relationship and worry about if I'll be alone for the rest of my life despite the fact that I've never had any interests in relationships or even an IRL crush.

I also have a porn addiction that's growing worse and I'm worried about its long term effects on me.

I've also never had any online friends before which means I don't know where to start.

I really need help.

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[–] MagicShel@programming.dev 3 points 5 months ago

Recognizing you need help is a huge first step. Everyone here suggesting therapy is right. Random folks on the internet can't really help, but a good therapist probably can. I'm mainly posting for moral support and to help you feel heard. You've gotten good advice and I can't really give better. Some folks struggle to take that step, but help is out there. Sometimes it might take a few therapists and that can be disheartening, but stick with it.