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this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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Sorry to hear about your dad. Losing him that early must have been especially hard. I was already long married with a kid in Kindergarten when my father died, so it was a lot easier to cope with that much support.
My dad also taught me a lot and for that I will be forever grateful. He was a film historian, so the biggest thing he introduced me to was movies, but he also introduced me to amazing authors, got me interested in science, bought me computers back in the 80s when they were a lot more expensive, and he was a die-hard socialist, so even though he wasn't especially progressive when it came to Israel, he was otherwise progressive. Interestingly, even though he was incredibly critical of the U.S. government, he used to call himself, "British by birth, American by choice."
So yeah, just like you, good or bad, he will always be a part of me. The one thing I have tried to not have is his level of anger. I try to keep my temper as much as I can, although I can definitely lose it, but he died angry and I have vowed I will not do so.
It’s alright. It was his choice to make. He knew what was happening and kept smoking in spite of it. That’s one of the “how not to be” lessons.
A film historian? Oh man how I’d have loved asking him questions. That must’ve been so fascinating.
Good choice learning acceptance and forgiveness. I gave my 20s to resentment. I learned at 30 not to give it another year. If I hold anger or resentment, I just hurt myself.