this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
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askchapo

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What's a good way to tell people who ask for my contact info that I don't do social media without sounding unintentionally condescending? (hexbear.net)
submitted 7 months ago by TheDeed@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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Sometimes people I just met (in a platonic context) will ask me things like "hey, what's your Instagram, let's keep in touch!"

My standard answer is that I don't do social media, but I have found that people take it as bragging perhaps? I get answers like "oh, good for you! I wish I didn't" or whatever.

If I say oh here's my number that seems too odd these days, people not that much younger than me (I'm 31) don't seem to text anymore. They use fb messenger or Instagram or others.

Also saying something like "I'm a privacy advocate and I use the fediverse" is also an odd thing to say unless I'm around techy people and even then it's weird tbh.

How do I approach this? I don't think I am better than people that use social media, its just not for me. I would prefer to text but I am not sure that works for a lot of people.

Or should I just bite the bullet and get an Instagram so that I don't seem weird, and then perhaps ask for further contact details via that platform?

Abstaining from social media can be extremely alienating.

autistic btw if you couldn't tell lmao, I have spent a lot of time thinking about this problem

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[–] sovietknuckles@hexbear.net 24 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I explain more if they ask me to clarify, but I start with a positive answer like what I do use instead of keeping them focused on what I don't use.

"I'm on Matrix at X or Signal at Y, that's how I stay in touch with people."
"How do you keep up with current events like the news?"
"Anonymous social media, but I don't tie my IRL identity to it in any meaningful way."