this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2024
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This is very nuanced and could be difficult to understand, but the word please can have a negative context between people that are related, like with family, or when codependent such as housemates or coworkers. The word please can have a negative emphasis like nagging. As an example, one might say:
These are common forms of natural speech where the word please does not have the same meaning exactly. In the latter two examples, the word please is like a subtle way of saying, 'just do what I ask without further arguing.
The language and formalities greatly depend on where you live, the local culture, and the population density in that region. In rural parts of the USA, formalities are common, but often are very hallow in deeper meaning. For instance, in the Deep Southeastern USA, like Alabama, there is a common phrase 'bless your heart.' This phrase actually means, "I disagree and think that you are a fool," but the meaning is like an unspoken truth and an inside joke at the same time. If you confront the phrase directly, the person will tell you they only meant the phrase positively, and they will make you look and feel like a fool for assuming it was said negatively. If you fail to realize the true meaning of the phrase, everyone that does know the meaning will see you as a fool. If you recognize the true nature of the statement, you are forced to rephrase your argument or agree to disagree.
The word please is most common in these rural cultures along with words like sir and ma'am. This language culture has a strong association with the conservative Right, religious extremism, deep prejudice, and toxic stupidity in the USA. That subculture association seems to impact the use of such linguistic formalities elsewhere in the country.
The word please still has a basic meaning of kindness among strangers or coworkers, but its formal use as a normative standard has a strong association with the worst of our subcultures in the USA. The second I hear someone talking like that, I immediately distrust them like seeing a person walk into a bank wearing a trenchcoat and a ski mask.