Ask Lemmy

Putting people down and using ableism as the punchline in a joke/retort/comment

I've become less and less tolerant of antisocial behaviour, like littering or being rude to people at the forefront of businesses (bus drivers, cashiers and the like). It's not easy to step up and publicly shame people but I'm getting there.

Quite a few. I grew up in a conservative, racist family. It took me a long time to unwind the problematic casual phrases I grew up with. I'm not proud of it, and I occasionally cringe looking backwards. I realize now the tremendous weight and damage those phrases could do. Now I just try to be better day by day, and to make sure I don't perpetuate those damaging habits in my own children.

I used to eat meat. Don't anymore because the arguments against it are just that fucking strong. Basically unless you advocate for religious supremacy it's hard to make a cohesive argument in favor of meat consumption.

I automatically reject any arguments based on the "human nature". We know jack shit about our nature.

Calling everyone "man", "bro", "you guys"

I used to slip in to a bit where I was sarcastically a character that took on beliefs basically the exact opposite of my own. I would make sexist or lightly racist (stereotype) jokes that I didn't actually believe but thought were funny. The jokes were ofter at the expense of myself or people like me but involved bringing up other races, sexes, and ethnicities.

I made an effort to stop doing this for a couple reasons. The first being that idk if I'm really good or really bad at sarcasm but a lot of people just wouldn't get my joke and I was afraid people actually believed that was who I was.

Secondly, I had a kid. I realized that she parrots everything I say and do, and she wouldn't understand the layers of the joke and could potentially become what I was making fun of.

I listen to a lot of comedians in podcast and I envy their ability to slip in and out of bits with other comedians knowing they all get it, but for now I make an effort to end that bit.

I remember as a teen in the 90s in high school, doing a fake gay voice was considered funny and nobody thought twice about it. Even if the person wasn't actually targeting anyone LGBTQ+ specifically, just doing the voice seemed to insinuate the somebody was less than masculine. Like, Oh, the water isn't cold enough for you, let me repeat that request back in a gay voice to make fun of you.

I'm pretty sure if I even tried doing a fake gay voice at work now I would probably be shit-canned pretty quickly, which in a way goes to show how far society has come in not tolerating what would've just been crude humor in earlier times. I know the LGBTQ+ community has worked for decades to get to where they're at today, but it still feels kind of crazy how quickly society changed.

Depends on the situation. In the corporate world I watch everything I say. When alone or with friends, not very much.

Don't beat yourself up too much for the behaviours and humor of your past. Times change, people grow. Sometimes a behaviour sticks, and thats ok too. We are still human.

I was a huge Taylor Swift fan until she knowingly started dating a racist, sexist dirtbag. Dating someone with such views means you excuse those views. I was and am not willing to financially support someone with those views.

I also used to fly a whole lot. Probably once or twice a month on average. I developed a bad conscious about it and just stopped. I allow myself to fly if I absolutely have to (has happened twice so far), but otherwise I only travel by train or bus. My vacation destinations have changed quite a bit, to say the least.

Jokes built on racist stereotypes. Used to be just another part of my family's collection of jokes, but now I don't see the humor in those

I stopped ironically wearing my Putin t-shirt.

Making/laughing at jokes surrounding events like 9/11 and the titanic. Out of morbid curiosity, I know far too much about either of them now, they are no longer statistics, and contemplating both genuinely turns my stomach.

There is at least one pretty graphic recording of a phone call from a 9/11 victim trapped on the higher floors, the operator kept trying to reassure her, and it was obvious she knew they were lying. I can't anymore. I've deliberately traumatized myself listening to it, and I've lost my taste for that shit.

But, you know. "If we don't crack jokes, it gets too heavy." Ha-ha, holocaust /s

As a child, I kind of was pretty greedy and "bullied" my father for most of the time trying to buy the cheaper variants of food or clothing. Now that I know how hard it is to earn money, I really, really feel ashamed of myself for doing that bullshit. I must've put a good amount of stress on my father. I will repay him for all his hard work for me when I get a good paying job in the future. Love you dad!

Can't think of too many, quite honestly. I don't buy into most of the bullshit these days. Moving the goalpost all the time doesn't change the underlying issues and yet that is all most people want to do - make a meaningless gesture to make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside even though nothing has changed.

I'm happy for your realisation, OP!

For me it was homophobic and ableist slurs as general words for "bad". It's very common in my native society, so after I started learning more about social justice issues, it took a few years to wean myself off.

Also, looking back, I realise now that in middle school I was lowkey cruel to some classmates, manipulated them for my own amusement. I was never one to bully others, but I was often a bystander entertained by others being bullied. (Even though I was being bullied myself by the same people on other occasions. But I somehow never made that connection with their other victims, I guess my empathy wasn't fully developed back then. Or maybe it was a mental self-defence mechanism, idk.)

For starters I don't listen to the band The Mentors anymore. Also I quit watching gory videos long ago and recently quit watching anything that gets me emotionally charged. So much on the internet serves no constructive purpose, it just riles up emotions. We've all heard "you are what you eat", the same goes for what you put in your eyes and ears

When I was in middle school a friend of mine used to dress up and call herself a gypsy. Due to where we live, we didn't know that word was tied to a real life culture. We thought it meant fantasy-like hippies.

Years later I found out the actual meaning behind it and freaked out. Sadly I wasn't still in contact with her by that time, or I would've told her. Though her parents would've complained about it...

Some children Songs I could never sing vor hear again, they make me cringe a lot (racism, sexism, ...)