Describing Bilbo "Motherfucking" Baggins, who set out on a very long journey with the express intention of burglaring a dragon, succeeded in that mission, had a casual chat with the, may I reiterate, DRAGON, along the way, walked away alive, and then played a direct role in murdering said dragon, as a "dragon attack survivor" is an interesting choice.

[–] sik0fewl@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ya, nice revisionist history there.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He was in the dragon's home at the time of the attack. And he was invisible! Why does nobody believe me?! I'm not crazy!

[–] QIZED@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not crazy!

Oopsy poopsy, you've activated my trap card.

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! "But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy!" Stealing them blind! And HE gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!

[–] prole@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

Bad bot.

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

I'm sick of the hobbit courage erasure!

[–] teft@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Burgling is the gerund of “to burgle”. Tolkien would be ashamed of burglaring.

[–] Nobug404@geddit.social 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Gandalf is a troll. He exhibited tolling behaviour throughout the books.

[–] teft@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

He turned to stone when exposed to sunlight?

[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 1 points 1 year ago

He was stoned at night too.

[–] Nobug404@geddit.social 1 points 1 year ago

Trolling not troll like.

[–] fluxion@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

That's why Bilbo was like "fuck this guy then" and tried to run off

[–] illi@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bilbo was the only one that didn't freak out thoigh, so... maybe he was in on it?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 2 points 1 year ago

IIRC, he didn't even see it. He was facing away from it when Frodo tackles him.

[–] graymalkin@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

He's just a kindly granpa.

[–] DragonAce@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Maybe he was planning on retelling the story of their run-in with the dragon and was going to use the firework as his big finish to the story

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