I was working as a security guard.

She called the cops on me because i refused to call my manager for her. The thing was it was getting late and my manager goes into the office early.

She wanted to complain about how I tie my shoes.

She came in when I was re-tying my boots, saw that it was weird. Got offended enough to demand I tie them “the right way”.

I politely explained that the usual bow falls apart too quickly, especially with the boot laces, and the doubled up bow is impossible to undo. This was a much better knot… and “now are you visiting someone here?” (Aka “can I just trespass you already.”)

She got even more offended, insisting I do it right. I refused again. She insisted I get the manager… whose at home, probably sleeping or fucking... Nope. Not giving you his cell either, so you can harass him.

So she called the cops for “impersonating a security guard and I just feel very unsafe!”

So. Cops come out. Replayed the security tapes - with audio- “yeah.”

YOU CAN'T PARK HERE

Oh, okay, didn't notice. Thanks for telling me, I'll check where I can park my car.

ARE YOU NOT LISTENING, YOU CAN'T PARK HERE

Yes, I... I got that. Could you tell me where I can park? It's not very clear to me.

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU, MOVE YOUR CAR

Okay, whatever.

The lady at the dog park who screamed at me because I was pulling up the sunflower weeds that stabbed my dog last year.

It's been going on for weeks, and involved park authorities, and she still is trying to intimidate me.

A close second is the hipster with the offleash pit bull who threatened to kill me because I was standing between his pit and my (appropriately leashed) dogs.

Some crazy old lady tried to run me over at McDonalds if that counts. Our car had broke down and we were trying to save a spot so we could get battery jumped. There were other spots.

I do properly maintenance and most people on a strata committee is a Karen. Some people must have gone their life always wanting authority but never getting any, so they overcompensate where it doesn't matter. I've gotten good at dealing with them, but I think they love making people uncomfortable just to remind themselves they can. The trick is to not play their game at all haha

Either my ex grandmother who left organized religion to worship herself or exaunt, other side of the exfamily who was such a fundie that she rejected the harry potter books before we knew dumbledore was gay. Because books on witchcraft are of the devil.