i crapped my pants today
to see if i still dump
i focus on the feces
falling down my leg in clumps
this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2024
34 points (94.7% liked)
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Head like an ass
brown as your shit
I'd rather fart than give you my poop
There is some poop rolling down my thigh
Tonight
No signs for a bathroom
Anywhere in sight
As a kid my dad gave me a manual on self-defense. The chapter on improvised weaponry suggested shitting your pants and flinging the turd at your assailant. It also suggested picking up a human-acclimated duck and throwing it.
hey bozo, catch this
Pick it up.
Throw it at a cop.
In that order.
Mr softie is awesome
He hates cops too!
Get a 2nd pair of pants and wear it over the first. No one will notice
Donald Clump 
I don't understand how someone can shit their pants and it be any thicker than milkshake consistency. I feel like I could hold back a poo that was clumpy forever.
look at comrade diamond turds over here
some of us shit pure yoo-hoo and we like it that way
your body, begging you to eat fiber
There's only one answer: keep it in your pants til November, then hawk tuah voting booth and use it to fill in your ballot for Kamala Harris to save democracy.
I'm sorry, dude. Been there, it's never good.
Keep walking until it falls out, pretend it’s not yours.
Thats usually what i do, let the little dry turds fall out of my pant leg
Tie the legs to keep it from spilling, hold it away from the shit end, use centrifugal force to keep the shit at the shit ends, now you have a poison aoe and can deal blunt damage when a foe approaches your attack range, you're welcome.
What do i do?
Thank the gods that it's not liquid
Tie them up around your ankles