this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 133 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm not sure what other outcome this woman could reasonably have expected.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

For real, especially if they were role playing up to that point. I know all the Wario stans would gladly take a hot glazing of Wum to the face but you gotta expect the waaaaaaaaaaah.

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 3 points 3 weeks ago

She's probably as autistic as OP but she probably a cute girl so had load of normal guys smashing and didn't really have to think about much.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 80 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

This sounds like one of those teen movies from the early 2000s.

This whole scenario could have been Stifler from American Pie. Dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 25 points 3 weeks ago

I'd rent that at the BlockBuster for ¢99.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Huschke@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

But... but... he dared you... How dare you!

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Swords at midnight.

There can be only one.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

/slaps you with a steel gauntlet of enduring numbness +4

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 50 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Senseless@feddit.org 6 points 3 weeks ago

terminal cancer

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 48 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

RP verisimilitude > enjoyable sex

I don't make the rules

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 30 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I had to look that word up

sex noun 1. (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. "they enjoyed talking about sex"

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Where did you find that definition? That wasn't the definition I remembered so I looked it up too and I found what I thought it was but not what you found. Was that on urban dictionary?

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

He had to look up the word sex.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Ahhh my bad, I'm dumb and read it wrong, ty

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago

It wooshed me on the first read, I probably wouldn't have gotten the joke if your comment didn't make me do a double take 🙂

[–] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 37 points 3 weeks ago

imma Wario ima gonna cum!

This better not awaken anything in me.jpeg

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

Just because of that? Was the rest of the sex also disappointing?

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

He wario'd to completion

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

fake && gay

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 weeks ago

Was anon's spouse the Mario at the swinger party?

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Nobody would get horny at that party.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

Nerds know how to get down, bro.

[–] bilb@lem.monster 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Are you kidding? I'm getting horny over here just masturbating about it.

[–] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You did not had to share this fact with us.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yes he did. It's in his contact.