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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/mateusfccp on 2024-09-12 17:37:13+00:00.
This happened a few months ago (and the results are still lingering).
I woke up early in the morning and first thing I did was to go to the bathroom to take a dump. As I usually do, after shitting I stood up and went to the bidet next to the toilet. I opened the faucet, as usual, and let the water run up through my ass.
However, I had the habit to simply relax this way, feeling the cold water, while I scrolled through YouTube's stories. After about five minutes, I felt like one of my balls' hair was being pulled. A very sharp and acute pain in a single spot of my right ball. In the first seconds, I thought it was literally it, that somehow my hair was pulled by accident. However, the pain continued and started to intensify and spread.
I urgently stood up from the bidet, my ass still wet, but I wanted to see if there was anything on my balls. There was nothing visible, specially because of the hair covering the skin. However, as I looked down to my legs, I saw a creature crawling in my inner tight of the left leg.
I instinctively grabbed it as fast as I could and threw it wherever I could, trying to not squeeze it so it couldn't sting me. From seeing the creature to throwing it elsewhere, about 1 second passed. In this short time, I identified it as a centipede.
My balls began to hurt even more and I started moaning in pain. My wife, that was sleeping until then, ran to the bathroom asking what happened. I said that a centipede stung my ball. We looked for it in the bathroom, and after a few minutes I lift the rug, and we found it there, hiding. As I lifted the rug, it ran against the wall and simply disappeared, crawling between two tiles (to this day I'm impressed, there was almost no space between them, but it could squish itself enough).
My balls began swelling and became red, the venom spreading through its surface. After some hours, we decided that I should go to the hospital to have the doctor see my balls.
The doctor said that as long as it didn't progress further or started producing pus, it should be fine. Then he prescribed me a painkiller and I had a shot.
The pain of the venom lingered for an entire week, but even today I can still fill a little pain in the skin, in the place where its forcipules pierced me, and it's possible to see two small points in the place where I was stung.
tl;dr: Wasted too much time using the bidet, enough for a centipede to come from nowhere and to sting my right ball, making me feel pain for a week.