Today I Fucked Up

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/M0NG00SY on 2024-08-22 23:29:37+00:00.

Went to see the movie It ends with Us. I didn't know anything about it other than Blake Lively was promoting it pretty hard and a I interview thay Ryan Reynolds did with her on screen love interest. So I just assumed it was a romantic comedy. Wasnt till day of going that I learned it was about DV. My gf of 6 months just left abusive marriage, a fan of the book, wanted to go so of course I went... anyways sitting uncomfortable in movie waiting for anything to happen, it happens, I pull her in cause she's starting to cry... then Blake's character says "It ends with us". I had a lapse of judgment and after years of watching stupid comedys or actions movies and always making a little comment when they say the name of movie as a statement, I patted her on the leg and nudged her as a "hehe she said it"... she's didn't look to amused but played it off afterwards that she didn't notice but I felt like a real idiot lmao

TL;DR reacting to name of movie as if it was comedy rather than the emotional drama it was

Edit:it's more a TIFU in my head. Yes she said I didn't do anything wrong. But man in my head it was the worst think I could think of doing in the moment

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Comfortable-Jello470 on 2024-08-22 21:18:50+00:00.

So today, literally 4 hours ago this all went down.

I (23F) had a drug test for a dream job, one that would get me out of my current job, set me up with a whole new career, the whole shabang, I’ve done one test before back in high school but this was my first “professional” one.

My partner and I went in to the office building where the lab is, I went in and was unable to…provide a specimen…so they said that I had three hours, I could drink maximum 12 oz of water, and to not leave the building, I said got it and went out to see my partner, the lobby was really cramped since people started coming in and I thought it’d be best to go to the hall and pace a bit to get stuff moving, I’ve heard movement helps you pee.

I go back inside and the woman takes me back and tells me it was a refusal to submit, I ask what do you mean and she says that I left the building, I told her I hadn’t, I was in the hallway, and she said nope you left the building. I didn’t argue and that’s what she sent off.

I went back to my car and sobbed for like2 hours because I thought everything was over and I called my mom and she said to pay for my own test to be done so there is written proof of a negative drug test on the same day as the refused one.

$170 later I took the other one and sent an email to my recruiter who doesn’t seem to answer phones (???) and reached out to the third party in charge of background checks. They said they’d write it in the report because they were sent my results from the lab but that the employer has to be okay with it being a test submitted by my hand.

My argument is that she should’ve said lobby and not building, the word office works too, there is even camera footage of me just walking in the short hallway outside of the door.

So now it’s in gods hands and I’m freaking out but there’s really not much more to do ¯_(ツ)_/¯

TLDR: Left the room of a drug test and now I could lose a dream job.

Also please don’t roast me too harshly, it really was a mistake I just get pee shy under pressure

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ThrowRA-NoResponse on 2024-08-22 14:50:41+00:00.

As the title says. I (23f) and my fiancé (22m) have been together almost 2 years now. I know him very well and he is the love of my life. We joke around a lot and we tell stories all the time, but with that I've learned that he is a horrible liar.

I have always chalked the reasoning of why I know up to the hundreds of hours of videos I've watched of body language analysis and verbal tells. I'm obviously no genius and I clearly am not certified to be 100% factual on everything that I state here, but I will say that from a young age I learned how to lie (parental issues, shocker). And I lie very well. So, I've sort of trained myself to stay away from certain tells when lying. However, when I speak to others, I typically seek them out (usually because I'm bored or if I'm trying to get the truth about some juicy gossip lol).

Regardless, because of this, I've slowly come to know my fiancé's tells VERY well. He's not a very good liar, and he has this facial twitch that usually gives him away. So, here's what happened.

My fiancé and I were joking around the other night after some "fun nighttime activities" and he had made a joke about "the best bj he's ever had". So, naturally, being his fiancé and in a joking mood, I say "well that's obviously me, duh" and laugh it all off. His response to that was "obviously", with an eye roll. However, I caught him doing his facial twitch and his voice got a bit higher than usual.

My face immediately dropped and he asked what was wrong. I told him that everything was fine and it's no big deal. He obviously knew that was a lie (because, let's face it, he saw my face drop). He kept pressuring me about what was wrong and, since our whole relationship has been built up on communication and keeping that open, I finally fessed up and told him that I knew he was lying.

He told me that he wasn't and that he was telling 100% of the truth, but again his voice got all squeaky. I pointed this out and explained that I knew he was still lying, and why. He then tried to deepen his voice, which just made me laugh really hard because, again, I knew he was lying.

Well, it turns out I wasn't wrong. After about half of an hour of me telling him to just drop it and that it was no big deal, he finally told me the truth. Apparently I'm only the second best he's had. So, definitely a blow to the ego right there. I felt my stomach drop and instantly regretted everything that I've ever learned.

So, I have learned my lesson now. I not only regret learning all of that information when I was younger, thinking that I would be so cool to be able to pick up on lies people tell, but I also regret purposefully learning my fiancé's tells. I mean, I guess I won in the end because I'm going to be marrying the man and not the woman who is in first, but still. Definitely a hit to the ego, for sure.

TL:DR I learned that my fiancé is an awful liar, and he lied about the fact that I'm the best bj he's ever had.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/major_lombardi on 2024-08-22 12:26:37+00:00.

So I (31m) and my fiance (29f) are traveling through Europe having an amazing journey, of course with its bumps in the road like trouble with hotels, but minor things.

About 6 months ago I lost my best friend I hadn't seen in 5 years or so. I wanted to see him, as I knew his health issues were accumulating and he didn't have much time left. We grew up with no other friends than each other. Every song I know, game I play, and movie I watch reminds me of him because we did and discovered all of life together.

So why didn't I see him in those 5 years? Well to be frank, my fiance wasn't a fan of this friend having met him those 5 years ago when I last saw him.

For context, my fiance and I have been inseparable for our 9 year relationship. So, I really wanted her to come with me to see him before he passed. She didn't seem as into it. We were on a road trip through the state where he lived about 2 years ago and she didn't want to stop because we had other family from her side with us and she didn't want them to feel awkward, which I tried to understand but I felt like I would have just made the journey for her if I was in her shoes.

Anyway, this isn't AITAH so let me get to my fuckup. I felt that I had been very supportive of seeing her friends that I don't like, I even offered to let one move in with us when he needed a place to stay. But I felt like she didn't have the same consideration for my friend (there were other opportunities to see this friend but she would tell me not to drive there due to weather and stuff, which is honestly just her looking out for my safety but I took it as her trying to control me to keep me from seeing my friend).

Anyway, I never really communicated how I felt about all of this when my friend passed. We are on a train right now with some other people on the train too, and while we were talking it just kinda came up and I just started talking about how I feel.

She got very uncomfortable and asked me to stop talking about it. I said that she shouldn't care as much about other people hearing us as she should about me being destroyed inside. She said "yeah, ok" sort of dismissively and I called her cold and she started to cry and said this is so embarrassing.

I guess I feel like I'm missing my friend a lot since we discovered life together and here I am discovering life with my new best friend, and I got very emotional. I really wanted her to comfort and support me, but she just isn't that type of person, especially in public. I am so that type of person, so it has been hard for me to realize that she won't comfort me when I'm feeling this down. I felt like she should be like me when I spent 3 years living with her mom with cancer and wasn't having fun of course but I saw how important it was to her, so I happily stayed there for those 3 years and was glad we could spend so much time with her mom before she passed.

This isn't AITAH because neither of us are. I'm just sad and I asked her if we are OK and she said she's not sure. I love her more than anything and I feel like I should have waited to communicate, but honestly I just don't think she's the type of person to receive that type of communication well. She doesn't really talk about her feelings about her mom passing but I cry all the time over little things and seek comfort from her, which she often does provide when it doesn't feel like I'm attacking her.

I'm just so sad inside. I lost my best friend and now it feels like I might lose another because I can't get over the first one.

TL;DR: my fiance is embarrassed that I overshared feelings about her not supporting me grieving a dead friend on a very public train and idk what to do to fix it. This is my first ever post on social media of any kind and I wouldn't have made it if I didn't feel the most extreme sadness I've ever felt right now. Any advice?

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Greengiant00 on 2024-08-22 13:43:42+00:00.

I'm sitting in the ER waiting room right now, waiting to go back and see my Mom. She was complaining of pain and being hot all last night, I stayed up with her to watch her, but she kept refusing to go to the ER.

Early this morning she collapsed in the bathroom. My dad called 911 then, I wanted to call an hour earlier but her refusing and my dad agreeing to let her sleep a bit stopped me. As we moved her to the front room to wait for the Ambulance she stopped breathing and her heart stopped. We did CPR till EMTs got there. Currently she almost stable but not in the clear yet.

Tl:Dr; Mom was too stubborn to go to the ER, I wasn't stubborn enough to convince her till it was almost too late. It might still have been.

Don't hesitate to call 911 if you think at all someone needs it.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/fyrgoos15 on 2024-08-22 13:19:44+00:00.

My gf (38f, we’ll call her Jill) and i (37m) have been together for a year and 2 months now; 8 months of that time we spent living 1500 miles apart. I was away for training for work and away from all my family and friends and my lady. I was incredibly home sick by the time i finally made it back home in June 2024 and super excited to see my family, friends and find some normalcy with my relationship with Jill.

A string of uncontrollable events start to occur out of nowhere: random tire blow out, get rear ended with Jill in the car, and a random letter from Vitalant, a blood donation facility, letting me know i tested positive for HCV antibodies…talk about a blow to the gut.

Some background: i am very conscious of my health and most importantly anyone i date or have sex with. I have been donating blood and plasma for 20 years with the understanding that my blood is always getting tested for many different diseases and STD’s before being shipped off to help someone. I enjoy donating blood and plasma and i have never taken a single penny for doing so, i take pride in giving because i know i can directly help someone. So knowing that my blood is always being tested, at least a time or two a year, i knew confidently that i am clean and not infected with any Std’s… and that my safe sex practice was keeping myself and others healthy. Oh and i have never once used a needle for drugs or taken any hard drugs in my life. Weed and psylocibin are the wildest things ive done.

Opening this letter was an absolute shock…i even got light headed. How could i, after being so careful, all of a sudden have HCV?! I initially didnt realize what i was reading and that it was negative for the actual virus and positive for antibodies..

To add to this, Jill is sitting downstairs with my step mother, and her and i are late to my birth morher’s birthday lunch! I had only seen my mother one time before this bday dinner so before opening the letter, i was excited to see her and celebrate her. To add to it, my little brother’s birthday dinner was literally a few hours after the lunch…he’s turning 18, huge day for him and i am so pumped to see him grow up…two of the most important people in my life on their most important days, who i am celebrating with the most important woman to me: Jill and i may have either been infected by her at some point or i infected her…my brain is swirling with what to do next…do i tell her right now and risk being late to my moms bday?! Do i just wait until after? Wtf?!?! I have an STD!!! I couldn’t stop the thoughts, and i just made the decision to take the letter with me and get to the lunch with Jill so we aren’t late…

In the back if my head all day i am telling myself “i need to tell Jill, i need to tell Jill” but im also thinking, “don’t do it today, celebrate bro and mom and tell her in the morning”

So thats what i did, just stuffed it down, and celebrated everyone. I got to see a bunch of my family that i haven’t seen for almost a year at two different occasions in the same day. it was weird but amazing at the same time. Jill enjoyed herself and got see parts of my family that i’ve been wanting her to meet for a while…bittersweet.

The next morning Jill and I are out getting coffee and i break the news to her and show her the letter…she immediately thinks ive been cheating on her and blames me for “lying through omission” i have never heard that phrase in my life so i really didnt understand what she meant. But i knew she was going to be upset and i was going to sit in it with her because thats what i have to do. We had already had a shitty week dealing with insurance companies, attorneys and health care. We got rear ended, hard, a week prior so we were both not sleeping our best, not exercising, and just frustrated with that situation..now this. We both agreed that we aren’t going to talk about this with anyone until we know for sure.

To keep a really long story as short as possible: we got a blood test done and we both tested negative for all STD’s and anitbodies. The HCV anitbody test was a false positive, thank God.

I helped her understand that i did not cheat and i trust that she hasn’t cheated on me. We are faithful to each other and mature about being in a relationship. But she is still upset about me “lying by omission” because i didn’t tell her right away and let her decide how that day should have gone. I admit that i could have absolutely handled that better, but seeing that i had an STD, the birthdays happening that day and not wanting to let anyone down by being late, but also knowing i need to tell her, i made a decision in the moment and went with it…

Jill and i are sitting down having a beer with her roommate and she brings up the blood test in front of her…i immediately ask “she knows?!” This kind of hurt for me because we haven’t actually had a conversation about the whole thing to kind of bury the hatchet…so i got pretty upset that she broke our promise to not talk to anyone about it. It was frustrating but i let her know i felt and we talked and i was better.

This all went down about a month ago…and today, i find out she has been harboring feelings of lost trust and connection due to my lying by omission. I am beside myself and just have no idea how to approach this. I can see from her side of the story why it’s a big deal because her first marriage ended due to her ex cheating on her and lying about it for a long time… i feel terrible for stirring up those feelings in her and making her think i would do the same thing. The reality is i was just trying to do what was best for everyone…and clearly i fucked up.

I honestly feel like this is something we can overcome but i also feel like she is giving up or maybe even entertaining other men…who knows. Im just upset because we have had such a great time together up to this point and it feels like this isn’t something that should break us. Other than this false positive test, i have been up front in communicating about everything that she needed to know right away.

TL;DR TIFU by waiting 12 hours to tell my gf about a positive HCV antibody test that was later found to be a false positive, now she is harboring negative feelings because i “lied by omission” and has lost trust and connection.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Inevitable_New_ on 2024-08-22 04:29:11+00:00.

So, today I fucked up by telling a massive lie back in 2015, and now it's coming back to haunt me.

Back in college in 2015, I was the only single guy in my friend group, and my best friends (who didn't go to college with me) kept teasing me about it. They even tried setting me up with a girl I had no interest in. To get them off my back, I lied and said I was dating a girl from college—let's call her Jane.

At the time, I had a huge crush on Jane and convinced myself that we would eventually start dating. So, in my head, it wasn’t really a lie, just an "exaggerated truth." But as you can guess, the lie snowballed. My friends believed me, and eventually, the story reached my family too.

As Valentine's Day 2016 approached, I decided to confess my feelings to Jane. Unfortunately, she was into another guy, so nothing happened between us. But here's where things get complicated: even after Jane turned me down, we continued hanging out like regular friends. I posted stories with her, did all the usual friend stuff, but everyone else was convinced she was my girlfriend. And honestly? I liked that they thought that, so I never corrected them.

Fast forward to early 2017, I started liking another girl and decided I wanted to pursue something real. So, I told everyone that Jane and I had broken up and that I was single again. I dated a few other people after that, but none of those relationships lasted more than 2-3 months. However, my "relationship" with Jane remained the biggest one in everyone’s eyes, and neither my friends nor my family ever forgot about her.

Now, jump to 2024: the twist is, I actually started dating Jane. How this happened is a story for another time, but let's just say I may have changed my entire personality to get her attention. I started watching the shows she liked, listening to her favorite music, and even ended up loving those things myself. I’ve done a lot to win her over, and honestly, I like who I’ve become.

But here's where I fucked up—my birthday is coming up in a few days, and Jane is likely going to reach out to my friends or sister to plan something. I’m now stuck wondering—do I come clean to Jane about the lie I told in 2015, or do I just confess to my friends and family? I’m afraid that if she finds out from someone else, it could all blow up in my face.

TL;DR: Lied about dating a girl in 2015 to stop my friends from teasing me, ended up actually dating her in 2024. Now, I'm not sure whether to come clean about the lie because it could all blow up during my upcoming birthday.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/SlickRickThaSnake on 2024-08-21 21:19:38+00:00.

Came to the realization as to how fucked I am today.

To rewind back and give a little bit of context:

I've got a pretty decent career history, education, and work experience for being in my early 30s. But, I put a lot of effort into...over accentuating... that experience when applying for jobs a few months ago and found my way into a VP of sales position for a mid-sized company after a long interview process I never thought I'd actually get. I'm also quite certain they think I'm older than I actually am but never asked other than the Sterling background check.

To Start, I have a dual degree from a well-known SEC school, and an MBA from another very highly-ranked SEC school as well as some professional experience throughout that time in school working mostly full-time. A few years back, I took what was basically an internship, and was a "VP of Sales" for a small CRM company that looked bigger than it actually was. The owner of that company owned a franchise I worked for part-time, and I was making like $50k a year basically as an admin assistant with a snazzy title. Because I worked for his original company part-time, it looked like I had been with the company for 7+ years when in reality I had done very little and was making like $15/hour most of that time.

Two years ago, I leveraged that to get a Regional Manager job at a larger company, used my buddy who worked with me as a reference, and go hired making $110k/year base plus bonus. Did okay there, but it was clear I didn't have the chops, was still learning, and I got laid off in March. My boss I was in good with said they'd verify "whatever I needed as a reference"

When I started applying for jobs I listed my experience as their "Regional VP of Sales" and created this hybrid job description about what I actually did and included some senior level duties to make it sound like I was a key employee.

Ended up getting an interview for this startup company, bullshitted my way through 5 interviews, and got an offer for $205k base + bonus to run their sales division and deal with their external stakeholders. hell yeah, thought I could handle that. But I can't.

The job was extremely plug and play. They wanted me to completely revamp their entire sales structure week-1 and I didn't even know what their product fucking did haha. Tried to bullshit my way through client calls, but these people have been tearing me apart every week for any strategy I recommend and letting me know how worthless I am.

If I don't get fired by Friday, I'll be absolutely shocked after the call I had today. I got away with it for a few months through being respectful, attentive, and giving 110% towards figuring it out but it's clear I don't have the skills needed to be where I am yet so I'm fucked. They say fake it until you make it, but "faking it" doesn't work unless you know how to make it yet lol.

I feel like Mike Ross in suits, but instead of being competent but lying about my credentials, I actually have the degrees but I over-exaggerated my experiences and they bought it, so I'm a dumbass in the wrong spot.

TLDR: Over-leveraged a cute job title I got as an intern to get a senior level position in a company I have no business being in, and I'm getting torn to shreds by being incompetent and will probably be fired this week or next.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Dancingcountry2 on 2024-08-21 17:20:00+00:00.

So I'm at this club and I see two girls on the dance floor with me. I tell one of them hey I like your glasses and then she says "hey I like yours too!" And they're both like "hey I love your shirt." I say "hey y'all seem like fun can I chill with y'all for a bit?" They're like yeah come on!

So I'm hanging out and one of the girls, let's call her Ashley, tells her friend Rosalie hey you should go dance with this guy (me). She's like ok let's go dance but then she's like I'm getting dizzy and she sits back down. Ashley looks at me and she's like "hey you should have gotten behind her and let her dance on you." I said "it wasn't a good song for that lol."

Anyways they all go to the bathroom (including friend number 3) and they said we'll be right back. So anyways, I'm like ok I'll just chill. They come back and they start talking to this one guy. The guy looks at me and he says "these ladies say they want you to leave their table." I don't like to start drama or anything so I get up and leave and one of the girls tells him "thank you."

What the fuck just happened? I had no problem leaving but I'm confused now. I guess maybe I did something to offend them or maybe they didn't want me to be around them in the first place. Either way, I guess I fucked up.

Tl;dr I tried to hangout with these girls and they got a bouncer to get me out

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Chicken_Of_The_Year on 2024-08-21 16:45:08+00:00.

This happened a few years ago, but the embarrassment still haunts me. I had just moved to a new city to start university, and as part of our “Fadderuken” (get to know you-week), all the new students were invited to a local water park for a massive kick-off event. I didn’t know anyone yet, and I figured this was my chance to make an impression. Both to make some friends and impress some of the girls in bikinis (not so often you get that chance in Norway).

Before the main event—a death diving competition—kicked off, we had all been hanging out, getting to know each other, and of course, drinking a few beers. By the time it was my turn to take the leap, I was feeling pretty tipsy, which, in hindsight, was a recipe for disaster considering my IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).

For those who don’t know, death diving is where you jump off a high platform, spread your arms and legs out like you’re about to land on your belly, and then just before it happens, you curl into a ball just before you hit the water. It’s supposed to look daring and epic, but in my case I got it to turned into a complete nightmare.

Standing at the edge of the platform, I could feel my stomach rumbling ominously. My gut was practically screaming at me to back off, but with a head full of beer and a crowd of students watching (and some of the pretty girls also), I ignored it. I leaped off the platform, arms and legs flung wide, feeling like an absolute champion—until I hit the water.

The impact was like a shockwave through my entire body, and that’s when it happened. The second I hit the water, my bowels decided they’d had enough. It was as if the combination of beer, adrenaline, and my IBS triggered the worst possible reaction. I felt an immediate, warm release, and I knew instantly that I had just crapped myself. Not just a little, but a full-on emptying.

As I surfaced, I could feel the contents of my accident spreading in the water around me. I hoped, "prayed", that maybe no one would notice (many it wasn't that noticable), but the looks on everyone’s faces quickly shattered that illusion. The water around me was visibly coloured, and the smell—oh god, the smell— hit almost immediately. People were recoiling, backing away from me like I was some sort of toxic spill.

The realization spread like wildfire through the crowd, and before I knew it, the pool was being "evacuated". I was left standing there, dripping wet, surrounded by what can only be described as a biohazard, with everyone staring at me in horror and disgust.

I scrambled out of the pool as quickly as I could, my face burning with shame. Any hope of making a good first impression was flushed away—along with the contents of my bowels. If anything, I became infamous for all the wrong reasons, and not exactly the way you want to kick off your university years.

TL;DR: Drank a few beers before a death diving competition at a student kick-off. My IBS decided to betray me mid-jump, and I ended up crapping myself in the pool. The water turned into a cesspool, and everyone was horrified. Not my finest moment.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/lunarianlibrarian on 2024-08-21 14:52:41+00:00.

I got one of those cheap pet cameras for my apartment because I was super curious how how my dog, Charlie, spent his day. I set it up last night and got everything ready and tested it out, and it worked wonderfully. I got to work this morning and decided to pull up the feed through the app to see how it was working. I got to see him in such a cute situation! He was trying to bury his bone into a blanket.

Now this camera has a speaker system where I can talk through the camera. I decided to test it out and say hi. He did not like that. He then proceeded to bark nonstop for about an hour and went to go hide in the bathroom. I feel horrible. He's stopped barking now, but I can hear him whining in the bathroom and I just want to go home and comfort him.

How can I do this to my baby boy!

TL;DR scared my dog by talking to him through a camera.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/UlverInTheThroneRoom on 2024-08-21 08:17:25+00:00.

This happened a couple weeks ago and it's pretty embarrassing.

My mom has a younger coworker that she spoke to briefly and mentioned me. Long story short, she added me on Discord and we exchanged some messages. She seemed interesting - we mostly talked about music, hobbies, and in general what we are doing in life. My taste in music is a bit niche and I was surprised she liked some of the same stuff. She's also artistic which is cool, I admire people that can do things I have no skills in like visual art.

We decided to meet up during the weekend to go see a movie and then go for dinner - this is where I fucked up. I never used the term date and normally I would make that clear when inviting someone but I made the mistake of assuming anyone thinks strangers meeting for a movie and dinner would be a blind date.

So we met at the theater and watched the movie - obviously it's hard to talk to someone during a movie so we didn't talk much. When we went for sushi we immediately started talking and we hit it off. The conversation was great and smooth and we both probably shared more than what the average person considers first meeting material. She was extremely attractive and she had a great personality. I was really attracted to her openness and blunt way of communicating. We both laughed a lot and nothing seemed forced, it was like talking to someone I've met before. She mentioned she doesn't want kids and I absolutely don't want children myself. We finished eating and then we talked for almost another two hours outside until we went our separate ways. She said she wanted to hear me play my instrument which I took as her inviting herself over which seemed like a good sign for a future meeting. She texted me when she got home and said thanks for tonight and such.

So in all my apparent obliviousness I texted her another day and told her I had a great time and I'd be interesting in seeing her again. I offered to make dinner and invited her over and that sort of standard thing. She responded some days later saying that she wasn't looking for a relationship right now and wasn't in a position to do so and apologized if she gave that impression. She said she'd still like to hang out or play games though. I was mortified due to the obvious, I thought it was a date the entire time and I was the only one thinking that way.

Now, that's embarrassing but the problem is I unknowingly fucked up the dynamic. She seemed like a cool person and even after the misunderstanding wants to hang out. I've read so many stories of good friends trying to make the jump to a relationship and they ruin it entirely and I've already explicitly expressed my interest in someone that wants to be friends. I don't want to be disingenuous so I just told her obviously I was a bit embarrassed but I'd be down to hang out again. I just feel a bit scummy about it because I already expressed interest.

TL;DR: I'm an idiot and thought that a movie and dinner with a new person was a date. It was not a date and thus, my embarrassment.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AnyMath8405 on 2024-08-21 01:25:52+00:00.

Long story time here.

I started a new job approximately a month ago. I have 3 separate coworkers that I am in the same room with, as we all have to communicate frequently to each other. I (24M) am working with a group of middle aged females as this job is more of a data entry job. I have not had a problem in the past working in an all female environment, so I figured that this would not be a problem.

Fast forward 2-3 weeks, and the one coworker (let’s call her S) decided that she was comfortable enough to unload all of the shitty things going on in her life, and that she was having some “unhappy” feelings. She explicitly said the words that we are all thinking, and I tried to talk to her about it, but she was very adamant that she wanted to go through with this act and that nothing could help her. I felt terrible because nobody should feel like this, but I am not by any means a trained professional.

That night after we had left work, S had messaged me on Facebook (I know adding coworkers is a terrible idea) asking me to keep it between us and that nobody can know about it. I did not respond, and waited until the next day.

After my wife and I discussed everything, I felt like the best course of action would be to tell my boss as I care for S as a human, and want her to get help.

My boss told me that she was required to report this and that I did the right thing, but I keep feeling like I betrayed S and her trust.

Things have been extremely awkward at work and she keeps bringing up the fact that she disclosed this info to me. Come to find out that S was pulled into a call with HR about her well being, and now she thinks that someone overheard our “talk” and that she can’t trust anyone.

I am struggling extremely with even wanting to get up to go to work as this has been weighing heavily on my mental health.

TL;DR Coworker disclosed “unhappy” thoughts to me. I told my boss, and now she thinks someone snitched, and things are extremely awkward at work.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/RefrigeratorTight883 on 2024-08-21 00:07:56+00:00.

So, this morning I really messed up during our daily stand-up meeting with the entire team. One of my managers/team leads was leading the call and, instead of wrapping things up, he started going on and on about his camper. The meeting had technically already ended, but he kept talking. This went on for what felt like forever—probably around 10 to 15 minutes longer than necessary.

At this point, I was getting pretty frustrated. I decided to step away to grab some coffee, thinking I had muted my mic. My wireless headset was still on, and I started venting to my sister about how this guy had been talking for 30 minutes straight about his camper, and how it was driving me nuts.

Well, you can guess what happened next… I hadn’t actually muted myself. My camera was still on, and everyone in the meeting could hear me trash-talking the manager. Cue the awkward silence and a sudden realization that I had just made a massive mistake.

TL;DR: Forgot to mute myself during a stand-up meeting, vented about my manager to my sister, and everyone in the meeting heard it.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Rare_Yoghurt6881 on 2024-08-20 17:53:39+00:00.

TIFU, I 26M applied to a “Post renovation” cleaning job. The pay and flexibility was really enticing so I applied and was interviewed. The first red flag I missed was the interview being solely over Microsoft teams chat and no phone call. Second was how quickly they accepted my application and started on boarding. My dumb butt thought they were eager to get me on for the projects they had going in my town so I filled out the esign documents and w4. I checked out linked in and the Utah llc look up and things looked legit in that sense. But what tipped me off was when they conveniently wasn’t able to hire a painter and plumber so the “client” sent a check via mail for nearly 5 grand. So today I called the so called client that was the sender of the check and they have been a victim of at least dozen fraud cases so far. I’ve frozen my credit with two of the three credit bureaus. Waiting on transunion to get their site back up cause I’m at work right now. STUPID ME TL;DR fell for a job scam and compromised my personal data.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Early-Stop-7616 on 2024-08-20 05:52:01+00:00.

TIFU. Today I (20m) was doing laundry in my shared laundry room. I had already been there long enough to put my clothes in the wash, and I had gone back to my unit, spent more than enough time for my clothes to wash, and was returning to put my clothes in the dryer. When I had first got to the laundry room, I noticed some clothes that had been sitting in the wash, and they had completed their cycle.

Im still new-ish to shared living as I recently moved out my parents house, and I didn’t exactly know the common courtesy protocol when it comes to this sort of thing. So thinking I was being a nice neighbour, because I didn’t want this persons clothes to get smelly and stale from sitting for so long, I put the load that was sitting there in the dryer for someone else and ran it. Only to come back later to find this note:

“I don't know who decided to put all of my clothes that were in the washing machine in the dryer but let me fill you in on common courtesy in a shared space. You do not put people's clothes in a machine for them. If clothing is done in a machine that you need, put it on the counter for when they come down next. You not only put my clothes in the dryer, you moved the empty laundry basket that was on the washing machine (that you could have put the clothes in) onto the dryer that you put all my clothes into. More than half of all of my clothes get hung up. Now, because you put my clothes in the dryer, some of my clothes have shrunk and half of them are also quite expensive and new. In addition, it is an invasion of privacy. NEVER put someone else's clothes in a machine. And just scoop them out and put them on the back counter. Nothing else.

This is incredibly infuriating and entirely inconsiderate. I typically set an alarm to remind me. I forgot to do that this time. I apologize for that. If this frustrated you, this is not how you deal with that frustration.”

I really was just trying to be nice. Lesson learned 🫠

TL;DR: I thought I thought I was just being nice by putting my neighbours clothes in the dryer. Turns out I ruined and their shrunk new and expensive clothes and they left me a letter to let me know.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/sheepsheepersheepest on 2024-08-20 01:52:45+00:00.

Was cat-sitting for a lady for a week when one of the cats in my care had flies following her around for a while. I didn't think it was anything serious, maybe that she had trod in some poop. I messaged the owner to ask if flies on cat is normal. She gave a brief answer to say that it could be from her toilet activity. I pretty much did nothing and didn't call a vet, again, as I didn't assume the worst.

When the owner came back, she called a vet who discovered the cat had maggots over her, that I'm lucky she's still alive (unsure if this is fabrication or truth)... Owner now incredibly angry with me that I didn't call a vet and tells me she has had to pay a large bill for treatment as well as deep cleaning her house.

I have apologised profusely and feel absolutely AWFUL about it. Have offered to pay her back for the vet bill.

A sidenote here to say these cats were quite high maintenance. They had fleas which was undisclosed to me before I got to the house, and they'd poop all over the floors. They weren't the cleanest of cats when I arrived, so I thought the flies were sort of a feature of the cat. I also googled about flies on cats, and asked family members about it, but still after all didn't conclude that it was incredibly serious.

All this to say I did care for them, but this was a huge oversight on my part. I'm shocked and feeling very remorseful!

Of course the other solution is to confess to reddit.

TL;DR - owner of cat I was cat-sitting claims cat 'almost died' due to maggot infestation that I didn't notice while cat-sitting.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/FangwolfNate on 2024-08-20 01:25:26+00:00.

This actually just happened. Long time lurker first time posting. For some background I recently took a job in a different state. I moved out here in Apr while my wife stayed back with our child

About 2 weeks ago it finally came time for them to join me out here. I was excited, beyond stoked. We just bought this beautiful new house. My family came out to help with unpacking. We didn't finish but got a lot done.

This last week I could tell something has been off. I had been asking if everything is alright and have been getting "I'm fine" or "I'm just tired" this whole time until tonight.

I mentioned to her tonight that it feels like she wants nothing to do with me. Her reply was that she wasnt really wanting anything to do with anyone. I got kinda upset at this because she has been on her phone at all times talking to everybody but me and i called her on it. She finally told me she hasn't been happy for awhile. That she didn't want to move here even though she encouraged me to take this job. I brought that up and her response was that I was always saying that she's never being supportive of me, and that this was her way of being supportive.

Her answer broke me tonight. I don't know what to do. I had all this happiness and excitement for this new chapter and this answer has just crushed my spirits.

TLDR: pushed my wife to open up and got a devastating answer.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MajkiAyy on 2024-08-19 18:25:29+00:00.

This happened last night.

I've always been an incredibly quiet sleeper. I laugh in my sleep sometimes, sure, but that's pretty much the only exception. When I fall asleep, I do not move around, I do not snore; I barely even breathe.

My wife, conversely, has a tendency to sleepwalk and wake up in a panic.

Recently, I've noticed that my nose gets super clogged at night. My wife has been urging me to get myself checked out and see whether I have some sort of medical condition, but I've been putting it off because I didn't see it as a big deal.

My wife, the sweetheart that she is, kept trying to think of ways to ease my discomfort, and eventually recommended nasal spray to help open up my nasal pathways. I thought that was a great idea and tried it. It helped a bit. While trying to fall asleep, I noticed I was breathing a lot better, and that I didn't have to resort to mouth breathing as much as I usually do at night.

Happy and calm, I drifted into sleep without much of a problem.

Fast forward a bit and I get woken up as my wife has another sleepwalking episode. She stirs and leaps out of bed shouting "Honey, someone was just screaming!"

I've seen her do this type of thing a million times. "Honey, there's a man in the hallway," "Honey, someone's painting the walls," "Honey, there are bugs in the bed." If you can even theorize it happening to you, my wife has probably woken up fully convinced that it was happening to her.

"Go to bed, there's no one screaming," I tell her and get up to move her back to bed. She quietens but remains jittery, looking around. Eventually, we both go back to sleep.

Fast forward a few hours and I get woken up again. "Honey someone was screaming I'm sure of it!" she insists.

"No, honey, nobody is screaming," I tell her, feeling quite exasperated at getting woken up twice.

"No, I know what I heard," she says. "I'm not sleepwalking, someone was actually screaming."

Now, she also does this while sleepwalking. She will act as if she were completely awake and aware and insist that something absurd was happening. But she remains steadfast, demanding that I check the whole apartment and see outside whether something is happening.

I comply, wanting to get it over with and go to sleep.

Fast forward another few hours and my wife wakes up again, swearing up and down she heard a woman screaming. At this point, I was starting to get worried. She had never woken up three times in one night claiming the exact same absurd thing was happening. Still, there was no woman screaming that I could hear, so I calmed her down and we went back to sleep.

This time, I was struggling to fall back asleep. It was already 5 AM, and I'd been woken up so many times that I wasn't sure that I'd be able to get any more shut-eye that night. So I calm myself, relaxing and steadying my breathing.

Then I heard it.

My nose started whistling.

Now, at first, I was like A-HA! That's why my wife was waking up all the time! But as I experimented to see whether it would keep happening, the sound kept getting worse. Much worse. When I rolled over to my side and breathed through my nose, it sounded exactly like an Aztec Death Whistle. (You can find it on YouTube)

My wife still wasn't asleep, so I turned around to look at her and found her glaring at me with a death stare.

I am now being forced to get myself checked out.

TL;DR: I put off getting my nose checked for too long and now it sounds like an Aztec Death Whistle while I sleep, disturbing my wife.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/mattthepianoman on 2024-08-19 17:13:38+00:00.

A few weeks ago, I had surgery to remove my gallbladder. The surgery was successful, but I’ve been experiencing some post-cholecystectomy pain.My doctor recommended that I take Buscopan to ease the pain instead of relying on stronger medication, and for the most part, it has been effective.

Last week, I woke up with cramps. I grabbed a blister pack of pills from the cupboard where we keep our medicines, took two pills, and put the rest in my pocket. As the day went on, I didn’t feel any better, so I took two more pills. By dinner time, things still hadn’t improved—in fact, I felt even worse. I was bloated, crampy, and it felt like my gallstones were back, which is quite a feat considering my gallbladder was probably incinerated as medical waste weeks ago. I went to bed early without eating, hoping I could somehow sleep it off.I woke up around 2 a.m. with an urgent need to go to the bathroom. I’ll spare the gory details, but it felt as though someone had exorcised the demons from my body. I’m not sure how long I was in there, but the sun was beginning to rise when I finally emerged.

I went looking for something to help with the cramps and found the strip of Buscopan in my pocket. I took two pills, drank a big glass of water to help replace what I’d lost, and went back to bed.

At 6 a.m., I was awakened by the same feeling. Back to the bathroom for another exorcism.

I rummaged through the medicine cupboard, looking for something to make it stop, and found a pack of Imodium. I took two and hoped for the best.Things settled down after that. I had one minor encounter with the “brown gods,” but things were returning to normal. By the evening, I was feeling confident enough to eat.

Cut to today—I was feeling a little crampy after lunch, so I grabbed the blister pack of Buscopan from my bag—the same one that failed to help me last week. I popped two tablets out, and just as I was about to take a swig of water, I caught sight of the foil on the blister pack. These weren’t Buscopan; they were Dulcolax. I spat them out, swearing as I did so. I had accidentally taken a ridiculously high dose of a laxative last week and almost did the same thing again. The strips are nearly identical to Buscopan in size, shape, and pill count, so it’s an easy mistake to make. I’ll have to triple-check in the future because I’m not going through that again.

TL;DR: Accidentally swapped anti-spasmodics for a strong laxative—chaos ensued.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/External_Arachnid179 on 2024-08-19 13:54:42+00:00.

So, this happened a couple of days ago, and I’m still cringing every time I think about it.

I’m 29F, and while I’m no professional baker, I’ve always loved baking for friends and family. My best friend (who’s basically my sister) is lactose intolerant, and for her birthday this year, I decided to surprise her with a homemade, dairy-free cake. She’s super careful about what she eats, and I wanted to make something special and safe just for her. Easy, right? Well…

I found this vegan chocolate cake recipe online, and it looked perfect—like, even better than some of the regular cakes I’ve made in the past. I made a special trip to the store, got all the right ingredients, and double-checked everything to make sure it was 100% dairy-free. I was determined not to mess this up.

Everything went smoothly while making the cake. I measured out the almond milk, mixed everything together, and when it came out of the oven, it looked and smelled incredible. I was actually a little proud of myself, thinking, “Hey, maybe I should do this more often!”

Then came the frosting. This is where I royally screwed up. I had bought a tub of dairy-free cream cheese to make the frosting because she loves that tangy-sweet flavor. But—and here’s where I turned into a complete idiot—I accidentally grabbed a regular tub of cream cheese from my fridge. I still don’t know how I managed to overlook the giant “cream cheese” label, but in my mind, I was just on autopilot.

It wasn’t until after I’d mixed it up, spread it all over the cake, and licked the spoon (don’t judge, it’s the best part) that I realized something was wrong. The taste was too creamy, too rich… too real. That’s when I saw the empty tub on the counter. It was the regular, full-fat, lactose-packed cream cheese. I think I stood there in shock for a full minute before the panic set in.

I tried to scrape off the frosting as best I could and made a new batch with the actual dairy-free cream cheese, but I knew it wasn’t going to be perfect. There was no hiding what had happened, especially because I’m a terrible liar.

At the party, I gave her the cake and tried to act all casual, but I ended up blurting out the truth. I told her I’d accidentally frosted the cake with regular cream cheese and then tried to fix it. I was fully expecting her to be upset or at least disappointed, but instead, she burst out laughing. Apparently, she’d been worried I’d stress myself out trying to make everything perfect and was relieved to know I’m still the same slightly scatterbrained friend she’s always known.

In the end, we all had a good laugh about it. She was super understanding and avoided the frosting, just to be safe, but she loved the cake anyway. And of course, everyone else at the party thought it was hilarious. I’m just glad my little screw-up didn’t ruin the day!

TL;DR: Tried to bake a lactose-free cake for my best friend’s birthday, accidentally used regular cream cheese in the frosting, confessed my mistake, and we all ended up laughing about it. She’s still my bestie, and the cake was still a hit!

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/gwubbyducky on 2024-08-19 11:42:06+00:00.

I (24F) have a schnauzer (4M) who can be skittish around loud noises, strange people and cars. I take him on a walk around my neighbourhood every afternoon, including today. As we’re walking I can see that further down the street there is a middle aged man washing his large truck. I don’t think anything of it until we reach his driveway and my dog refuses to cross the running water coming from the car to the road (no, my dog is not a vampire, just stupid). To inspire bravery in him, I lean down and in a baby voice say “aww, big boy”.

The man, who evidently did not see or hear me coming, whips around and stares at me shocked. I don’t think he could have looked more offended if I had slapped him. It takes him a moment to register that I was talking to my dog, at which point he looks more uncomfortable than offended. I walked away with no further comment, and now cannot walk past that house again.

TL/DR: A middle aged man thought that I called him a “big boy” while walking down the street.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Brokenforthelasttime on 2024-08-19 05:07:23+00:00.

Alright technically it was yesterday, but we got home from the hospital less than 24 hrs ago so I think it counts.

It’s hot where we live. Really hot. Our county is famous for its melons, and nothing tastes better on a hot day than a cold melon salad. Before I go much further, I should probably say that I am well known to be accident prone, and my husband has banned me from handling all sharp pointy objects.

So after a great morning taking our dog to the local pool for a dog swim party, and an afternoon at the county fair, we came home and he started cutting up melons for a fruit salad for dinner. He was standing on one side of the kitchen island, I was on the other. We were talking about our plans for the next day, laughing at the dog circling the island like a shark (he loves melons). Hubs cut a melon in half, and due to its size and position, one half rolled of the island. I, not thinking at all, reached out to grab it. So did he. He still had the knife in his hand. Needless to say, it did not end well for me.

He rushed me into the car and we made the normally 5 minute trip to the ER in about 90 seconds. He walked me in to the check in desk, and caught me right before I hit the ground when I passed out. Never been placed in a room so fast in my life. After multiple attempts to numb my hand failed, they just started stitching, which… 0 stars, do not recommend. It was a thousand times worse than the cut. 13 stitches later, doctor says he’s done the best he can but I will likely lose a large chunk of my finger. It basically split in half from the tip down to the first knuckle, cutting through the nail bed and most likely the nerve. I’m now being fast tracked to see a hand surgeon to see what can be salvaged.

My poor husband is DEVASTATED. He can’t look me in the eye because he knows it hurts and he thinks it’s his fault.

So take this as a PSA - when knives are involved, just let it fall and step away. Don’t be dumb like me and reach for either a falling knife OR falling food when knives are in hand.

Tl;dr: Reached for a melon falling off the counter, hubby accidentally stabbed my finger, now need surgery to attempt to save it.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/throwawayelim on 2024-08-18 23:36:49+00:00.

My sister in law (husband's sister) is getting married and has been very graciously including me in preparations even though I'm not in the bridal party. I went when she picked out her dress, and she invited me to her bridal shower which was just the bridal party, her mom and a couple close friends. I genuinely like my SiL but I'd never met any of her friends so I was a little nervous. At the shower her maid of honor was detailing what the pre-wedding festivities would involve and mentioned they would all be getting acrylics done the Saturday night before the wedding as sort of a spa party situation. I then quipped, "sounds like you're in for a 'Night of the Long Nails'!". No laughs, just confusion. My SiL goes, "is that from something?" And I said, "I was making a joke, like 'the Night of the Long Knives'." Then a bridesmaid asked if that was from Game of Thrones or something which meant I then had to explain the 1934 purge of Hitler's perceived enemies and political rivals. Which went over like a fart in fucking church. SiL moved things along conversationally but I felt super fucking awkward. Also that joke would have killed in my friend group of history nerds.

Tl;Dr I made a pun based on a Hitler reference at a bridal shower in front of strangers that bombed harder than the Luftwaffe.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/sparklinghotmess on 2024-08-18 22:08:12+00:00.

TIFU by texting my date (instead of my girlfriends) with a review.of said date.

I (45F) have been dating off and on since my ex and I divorced in 2020. My two best girlfriends are also single and navigating the world of dating. We text about our dates.

A week ago I matched with someone (40M) on Hinge. We'll call him Joe for this post. Joe is wonderful. He has a PhD and is an associate professor at my collegiate alma mater. He grew up in the Midwest and moved to the deep south for his job. Our conversations over text were engaging, intelligent, and witty. We met and had our first date last night.

The date was awesome. We clicked in person, the conversation never ceased, we made each other laugh, and he was attractive in person. At the end he was in a hurry to leave which I initially thought was odd, but he explained he had to get home to.take his puppy out for a walk so he could pee. There was no kiss goodnight, but he did ask if I'd like to see him again. I said I would love to.

We texted just a little bit this morning. I have a group text with my two girlfriends, and I picked up the phone to text them the details of my date with Dr. Joe. I told them where we met, we had drinks, I ate but he didn't because he does intermittent fasting, had a great time, no kiss goodnight, and that we had both expressed interest in getting together again. I also mentioned that Dr. Joe wanted to take things slowly which I appreciated, and I said overall the date was a solid 8 out of 10. I hit send.

My dumbass didn't text my girlfriends. I texted Joe my formal review of the date. I couldn't figure out how to unsend the text so I bit the bullet and sent him an apology text explaining that it was intended for my friends and that I was beyond mortified. He found the whole thing quite funny and said he'd happily take the 8/10 rating. Still.....I want to bury my head in the sand and am worried there may not be a second date.

TLDR: instead of messaging my girlfriends a review of the date I went on I texted my date. I feel so stupid.