Today I Fucked Up

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r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up.

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/hpfan1516 on 2025-07-06 19:52:31+00:00.


So, today I found the fuck-up that I did in January.

So I am fond of Bath and Body Works Wallflowers. They are nice to have especially in the holiday season, as I do not like to have to keep an eye on a flaming candle. Easier and much safer, right?

Well, I've had a few misadventures with the damn things. Unplugged, they are easy to knock over. I've returned to my place after hours of being gone, only to be assaulted with the pungent smell of colored, scented oil across my countertop--usually soaked into the sacrificial kitchen towel that likely knocked it over in the first place.

But this incident, indeed, was much more insidious than a sticky, smelly spill. No. This took over the entire pantry closet.

In January, as the holidays ended, I gathered up the Christmas nightlights, including two wallflowers. One empty, one with the Christmas scent still plugged in. I'd long since lost the cap to that one, so I left it in the wall plug, and carefully stored it sitting upright, and put the box away in the pantry with all the other extra random bits and bobs from the kitchen.

In the months that followed, I started noticing that more and more of my pantry items were sticky. I chalked it up to getting something on them while shopping, and continued on with my life.

Fast forward to July. I've long-forgotten that one still had the scent plugged in, and decided it's time to clear out the pantry. Remove everything expired, reorganize with new shelves and drawers and bins from that one section in Target. Makes it exciting!

As I pull out and organize cans, I start to notice that there are globs of stickiness, and a pungent cinnamon scent that rolls into my sinuses and kicks back in a chair. There to stay as I tally up cans of pinto beans and pasta sauce. It gets on my hands, permeates the entire stock as I am wondering what on earth might have spilled. I don't keep brown sugar, molasses, or even spices in here. I shrug it off and keep going. But there are no spills to be found. Just an odd stickiness like someone sprayed juice into the closet.

I started at the top shelf and moved down, finally reaching the bottom, where the infamous night lights sat, in the open-topped bin. At the bottom? The culprit. A now-empty wallflower scent bottle, attached to its plug. Next to it? Another night light coated in a thin film of brown, cinnamoney sheen.

I don't know how, but in the months since being sat there, the scented oil had evaporated in the pantry closet and had solidified in the cans above, as well as ruining two nightlights, and leaving a syrupy stickiness over all the plastic storage bags.

TL;DR: I stored a wallflower with an uncapped scent screwed in, and the oil evaporated and solidified onto the entire contents of my pantry. At least it smelled nice. My sinuses still have it stuck there despite a nasal rinse. It's everywhere. Send help XD

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Scary_Comfort_1002 on 2025-07-06 13:28:33+00:00.


Hi so i’m a little stupid and sent out nudes and the person is making their entire profile the photos. Their profile picture is my face (lewd) and their showcase art is the nudes. What do i do? I’m very freaked out.

I’m aware it was a stupid idea to send them, especially with my face in it, i’ve never done that before so i don’t know why i did it now. You can only report once and i’m afraid steam support won’t do anything.

This is on steam but I don't want to give the username as I don't need more people seeing my photos, I just need help of what to do next. He's in Canada and I'm in the UK so the police won't be the best help. His username on IG is @bae.bodhi. He's also been harassing me on discord (making different accounts with my face as the pfp) and I deactivated my account after blocking the accounts he had already requested using. Please help because I don't know what to do.

TL;DR: I sent someone photos of me and he's now put them on his public profile.

Edit: Thank you all for your support. It's only been a few hours but it means a lot how kind and understanding you have been. I wanted to talk about a few things that have been repeated (I have read every comment and thank you for all your advice.) First of all, the first thing I did was contact steam support and he took all the photos off his steam account!!!! I am still worried as they're in his possession but as of right now they're no longer public. A redditor mentioned to me that his name he gave me could be fake which I wouldn't be surprised about, so going to the police likely wouldn't work. I will still try though as anythings better than nothing. Also to those calling me an idiot for doing this: I know. It was a stupid mistake that I wish I could take back however I can't and I regret it. I'm only young and I truly thought he was a nice guy. Now I know not to trust so quickly. I will update further if anything else happens, thank you for reading :)

3
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Additional-Sleep200 on 2025-07-06 18:41:47+00:00.


Hi redit, it’s been a while since I was last on here but listening to the smosh redit stories recently has inspired me to post my god awful experience here and hopefully give a few of you a laugh. I will give a little context in saying this wasn’t today but it wasn’t like years ago. It was back in the beginning of may (posting in july 2025) So without further ado, today I fucked up by throwing up in my boyfriend’s grandma’s bathroom.

To start this off I’ll say my boyfriend (20m) and I (19f) had been dating for 3-4 months at this time. He’s always been super patient and understanding with any sort of issues I’ve had medically. I have orthostatic hypotension (basically POTS but different) as well as my antidepressants messing with my stomach when not taken with food. (Yes both of those are important to know for this). We had left my house in the suburbs of chicago around noon the previous day having woken up late and made the 5 1/2 hour drive to his grandma’s house in Ohio. Now, I always take my meds in the morning, however I had been so focused while leaving on getting everything in the car and not forgetting anything in the process that i had forgotten to not only eat, but also take them. Missing them for one day will not significantly impact my mood seeing as they build over time in my system so emotionally I was fine and didn’t even notice. We eventually got to the house and settled into the guest room, went out for pizza with his grandma, and fell asleep knowing we had some things planned for the following night at one of his friends houses. However at about 5:30 in the morning i shot up in a panic realizing i never took my meds the previous day. I tried to lay down and wait for my boyfriend to wake up so we could get food and I could take them but he sleeps till noon if given the option. So after laying there debating for a while i took them at about 8:30am. Did i know i would need food in the next half hour before i felt disgusting? Yes. Did i still have some insane belief that i would be fine? Absolutely. And well my friends, it only took half an hour to begin to feel a little nauseous. As the feeling sets in i turned to my boyfriend and tried my best to wake him, now he’s a very light sleeper, but he’s also very exhausted when waking up and falls back asleep in an instant if i don’t physically get him out of the bed. So long story short, we didn’t end up loading into the car till 9:45 to go get food for me because nothing in the house sounded appealing at the moment.

Eventually we are able to get to the starbucks drive through about 10 minutes away. I am practically sweating through my clothes at this point and staring out the window keeping my mouth shut tight trying not to make a mess in his car. He hands me my chocolate croissant and my coffee and the feeling only gets worse. I tell him to drive back to the house as fast as he can without getting us pulled over and he does meanwhile i’m gripping my seat and the door like it’s gonna magically stop me from feeling like everything i HAVENT eaten in the last 12 hours is coming back up. Meanwhile my boyfriend is in the drivers seat trying his best to console me. When we finally get to his grandma’s house once again i lay down in the bedroom and stare at the ceiling trying to keep the world from spinning, he sets my coffee in the fridge knowing i probably won’t drink it for a while, and runs his fingers through my hair trying to get me back to normal. That only works for about 10 minutes before i shoot out of the bed and into the bathroom. My hand is over my mouth trying to keep everything in till i can reach the toilet but i fall short about 3 feet. i end up dropping to my knees and crawling to the toilet gripping the edges and praying for it to be over. Now some of you might be wondering, why isn’t he helping you? where’s him pulling your hair out of your face? and you would be correct. he stayed in the bedroom because he knows if he helps me he will be in even worse shape than me and no one wants that. I’m in there for about 15 minutes before my boyfriend texts me asking if he should come help and risk it, and i told him not to since i didn’t want him to throw up as well. However, about 30 seconds after sending that text a final large wave of nausea came and i threw up everything left in my body, my abs felt like they were on fire and my stomach was squeezing in on itself so hard…i shat. Yes that’s right, i shat myself while throwing up in his grandmother’s bathroom while sobbing and trying to wipe up the parts that missed the toilet. Even worse, his grandma had removable little carpet pieces in the bathroom covering majority of the tile, not only was there now vomit in that, but also a large shit stain from the liquid, YES LIQUID! That had just shot out of my ass. I kinda just sat there quietly for a minute trying to contemplate what was happening but i ended up just taking the pants and underwear all the way off and setting it to the side before curling up in the corner and texting my boyfriend to come help because i had no idea what to do. Luckily he’s a trooper and he sprung into action washing my pants and bringing me my toiletries so i could shower. I hop in the shower and immediately my heart starts beating uncontrollably fast to the point of where i thought i was going to die. I end up collapsing in the shower because of the heat and almost passing out because my orthostatic hypotension tends to make me dizzy and light headed when in extreme heat, and i unfortunately like to basically boil myself in my showers. So obviously that didn’t quite end up making things any better. I end up taking a whole 2 hours trying to get back into the bedroom and from there on my boyfriend would not stop talking about it and making jokes. We did end up going to our plans later that night but not until after he made me get a smoothie down and telling all his friends about the story. Also now his grandma thinks i have severe bowel issues of which she would not stop checking in on the entire trip which was even more embarrassing.

TL;DR today i fucked up by throwing up and shitting on my boyfriend’s grandma’s carpet, and now everyone knows and won’t stop making jokes.

4
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TinyRascalSaurus on 2025-07-06 12:56:10+00:00.


Hello, I'm your not so typical Chronically Ill chick who doesn't think before she does stuff at the worst times.

I have Ulcerative Colitis (among other fun party favors) and I literally had ulcers so bad that when I went in to have them cauterized, I woke up in quarantine because the specialist had never seen ulcers so bad without C Diff being involved. It thankfully had nothing to do with C Diff and I was started on IV infusions of powerful medication.

So, after the first infusion, I start feeling better, good, right?

Now, I work at a church. A good one that's pro LGBT and actually has charities to help the community. One of our charities is a partnership with the Red Cross where we hold blood drives every two months. This charity project is one of my responsibilities.

We normally have a pretty good turnout and the Red Cross says we're one of their best drives. But this time around, our numbers were low, and some of our regular donors got deferred for low hemoglobin.

So, I decided that, since my insides aren't hemorrhaging anymore, I'll donate a pint to help out. So I go over and get hooked up and give my donation.

I get off the table feeling okay and am immediately called over to the registration desk because the church volunteers need some supplies. So I head off to get them.

Suddenly, I feel lightheaded and I'm floating sideways. Then I just remember waking up laughing at the realization I passed out. I'm on the floor, and my volunteers who are mostly in their 70s to 90s are crowded around me almost in tears.

The Red Cross techs get me up on a table, give me a juice and crackers, and tell me to lie there and rest. The whole time I'm kinds laughing at how stupid I was.

Long story short, I recovered, and one of our regular donors walked me back to my office to eat something.

But poor Mrs Jody and Mrs June were really upset. They're the sweetest elderly ladies and they almost cried when it happened. And I felt like a total dickasaurus Rex for scaring them.

My mom chewed me out. My sibling who lives half the USA away chewed me our. My gastroenterologist read me the absolute riot act.

In short, I am really really dumb.

But my blood saved a life in Bacon County. So somebody benefitted.

TLDR: Gave blood with a condition that causes blood loss and nearly scared two sweet elderly ladies half to death when I passed out and hit my head.

5
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/kintaco on 2025-07-06 07:03:36+00:00.


This just happened a few minutes ago. I was coming down my stairs to the living room after shower Ming when my dog started growling and barking. I figured once he saw it was me he would stop barking. But he kept on barking. I stopped and just looked at him for about 30 seconds to see if he would finally realized it was me. I then decided to run towards the sofa, which had him right in my path. He ran away crying and whimpering. I then sat down on the sofa and called him. He came to me finally realizing who I was, then as I comforted him I smelled a nasty smell. My wife thought I had made him pee himself, however it smelled worse than just pee. I turned on the lights higher and sure enough I had made him pee and crap himself. Not just crap, but diarrhea. It stuck up the living room pretty bad. I felt bad after that, I won’t be scaring him again.

TL;DR: My dog didn’t recognize me so I scared him by running toward him and he peed and crapped all over the living room.

6
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/undercover_union145 on 2025-07-05 20:03:29+00:00.


I just got home and I genuinely don’t know how to process what just happened. Currently debating if I should move to the mountain by myself.

So here’s what just happened:

My wife’s out of town for the week and since I’ve been working crazy hours (an overnight shift straight into a morning one). I asked my mom to stop by the house, let the dog out, feed him, and keep him company until I could get myself home.

Now here’s where it gets mortifying.

When my wife is away for extended periods, I have a personal “toy” it’s blue, hourglass shaped and let’s say ergonomically designed. My wife is fully aware and even jokingly nicknamed it my Kong.

Anyway, before I went to bed after my last shift, I washed it and left it on the dish rack in the kitchen. Usually I put it away immediately, but I guess I was overworked and I passed out without thinking twice.

So fast forward to today. I come home after 16 hours of nonstop work. I’m exhausted, dead on my feet, and just ready to fall into bed. I walk in and there’s my mom on the couch, happily playing with the dog.

And in his mouth?

The KONG

Covered.

In peanut butter.

I freeze. Just completely short circuit. She gets up to greet me and goes, “He just LOVES his Kong!” Immediately she can tell something up and asked “Is everything ok sweetie?” I mumbled something like, “Yeah just along day,” and stumbled off before I could burst into flames on the spot.

She didn’t stay long, thank God just left me a plate of food and went home. As soon as the door closed, I sprinted around the house trying to catch my dog, finally wrestled the “Kong” from him and chucked it in the trash like it was radioactive.

Now I’m lying in bed, sleep-deprived and emotionally destroyed, trying to decide if I’ll ever be able to look my mother in the eye again. Or if I should tell my wife. Or if I should just disappear.

TL;DR: Left my sex toy on the drying rack. Mom mistook it for a dog toy, filled it with peanut butter, and gave it to my dog.

7
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Elusive_owl589 on 2025-07-05 15:03:34+00:00.


So my extended family is staying together for the Fourth of July and because of ✨ reasons ✨ the baby changing station is in my parents' bedroom. For the most part this works out fine; however, last night I needed to change my baby after my dad had already gone to bed.

No big deal, he's a pretty hard sleeper and there was enough light from the window. I've done it before, quietly in, change diaper, quietly out. But last night when I was mid-change my baby boy looked at me with the sweetest smile I've ever seen. My heart instantly melted and I unconsciously said, "why hello, you" in that sweet momma voice reserved for adorable baby moments.

I did NOT expect my dad to respond, "not tonight hon, I'm too tired," and roll over before starting to snore again. Ew. so apparently to my sleeping father I sound like my mom when she's...in the mood. And what a line.

Now I can't talk to my baby without imagining my mom coming on to my dad. I'm practically grumbling at my son and he's doing all the cute things he can to get me to say something sweetly. But my dad is here and I just can't 😬

TL;DR: I said something cute to my baby and learned what my mom's "sexy voice" sounds like

8
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Rain_3679 on 2025-07-05 05:46:47+00:00.


So, today my coworker came up to me during a slow time and started telling me that she found out today that 'Amy' has kidney disease. Lately she has been telling me about her cat, who is really old and having health trouble lately. I couldn't remember the name, but I knew it was a normal human name, so I figured she must be talking about the cat. She was upset, of course, and I offered her my condolences. I asked, "Does the vet think it can be treated or is it too severe for a cat her age? They don't want to put her down, do they?"

My coworker looked really confused, then surprised, then she corrected me. Amy is her sister. The cat is Fiona. I was embarrassed (and a little frustrated to be honest- couldn't see have just said, "My sister, Amy"?!) at the mix up and apologized profusely. The good news is that the condition her sister has is pretty mild and was caught early. Doctors are hopeful that they can treat it and prevent the condition from worsening. But, yeah, it was embarrassing.

TL;DR: I confused a human's name with a cat's name and asked it the human was going to have to be euthanized by a veterinarian.

9
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/filthythedog on 2025-07-05 01:28:48+00:00.


This happened just an hour ago and I'm still dealing with the base cause.

Of late, my tolerance for restaurant or takeaway food has dropped alarmingly to the point where, within an hour of eating, I'm rushing to the toilet to pepper spray the bowl with the contents of my lower intestines.

I had a buffalo chicken pita for lunch, from a famous Canadian pita chain. Trying to be healthy, I stuffed it with salad items. This may or may not have some bearing on subsequent events.

Bang on schedule, I found myself rapidly strolling to a nearby public convenience where 'the kids were dropped off at the pool'. Thinking that would be it, I carried on with my afternoon of work and at 5.15pm, packed up and started the 45 minute drive home.

15 minutes in, the first cramps hit. Ok, I thought, Just get to the next fast food establishment, run in and take a McShit. Then the cramps subsided and I thought Well, I may as well wait until I get home.

There is a stretch of road on the way, where for a good twenty minutes, there's nothing but residential buildings before I get to my place. Of course, my intestines decided to make their presence known once more at this stage.

Proceeding a little faster than the speed limit, I thankfully had the traffic light gods smiling on me and I made it home without decorating the inside of my boxers. Running inside, I got to the lav and issued forth the next stream of rusty water. Surely, there was nothing left after that.

Now, to put things in context, my landlords live in the adjacent apartment. I live with my son and we have the larger area including a good size bathroom. My landlords have a small, half bathroom with a shower and this is next to the laundry room that I have access to.

Alas, my bowels had decided that they were not quite done with draining me of any liquids present within them and gravity started to rapidly pull what was left in my system towards my suffering anus.

My son was in our bathroom, taking a shower, so quickly opening the door to the laundry room, I dashed in, backed into my landlord's little bathroom (quickly checking they weren't in there, obvs), and dropped my strides and...

I knew that something wasn't right when I went to wipe and the back of my hand had more 'residue' on it than the toilet paper. Gingerly mopping my shit-splashed arse cheeks, I shuffled forward.

Turning around, I was confronted with an horrific sight. My explosive rectum had clearly gone off before I'd hit the seat, spraying not only the toilet, but the walls behind and to the sides and to some height too. The toilet brush was covered in brown slime and the metal shelving unit that sat astride the cistern looked like it had a bad case of corrosion.

The whole spectacle looked like someone had just tossed a bucket of disgusting brown slop against the bathroom walls. Jackson Pollock's No.2, if you will.

Desperately, I started the clean up, still with my kecks around my ankles. It didn't help that this happened in a very tight space and I'm a big guy.

To cut a sad story short, once my son was out of our bathroom, I rushed upstairs and showered, making sure my shite encrusted buttocks were 'debris free', got dressed, grabbed a load of cleaning products and headed back downstairs.

Well, dear reader. Let me tell you, that no amount of wiping and scrubbing is returning the nice white grouting on the tiled section of wall to being exactly that. Now there are just disgusting, suspiciously beige lines between the tiles. I've managed to get the toilet looking normal and as far as I can tell, the metal shelving passes as clean. A quick rinse in the sink sorted the toilet brush out.

Now there's just the stench...

Hopefully the landlords don't need the toilet in the next few hours and if they do, they don't examine the walls.

TL;DR Due to demonic forces taking control of my lower digestive system, I projectile shat all over a bathroom I shouldn't really be using. And it didn't clean up very well.

10
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Ok_Morning7934 on 2025-07-05 01:00:21+00:00.


So today I was out shopping in a Walmart for general necessities when out of the corner of my eye I see a smart watch with a cute design for kids age 4+. It didn’t cost much and I was thinking about getting my niece a present. I’m looking at this watch and it seems like a normal smart watch but with a lot less functionality. As a near 30 year old single guy with a terrible track records for gifts, I wasn’t too confident in how much she would like it. When shopping around a see a dad with a girl that looked around the same age as my niece. I walk up keeping my space and ask him if a girl around 9 would like this type of gift. He says they would and I walk away with a bit more confidence in my gift. But, after a bit more I feel I should’ve asked maybe a mom. So I approach a young lady with a kid. Her back is turned to me so I don’t really approach close to her. I softly say excuse me ma’am until they turn around. I ask if I can get their opinion on something. The young lady let out an “ok” and I asked them both would this watch be a good gift. I make eye contact with the younger girl and she reels back and looks absolutely horrified. I can see it on her face. She lets out a really soft “yea”. At this point I feel horrible and realize the young lady wasn’t a young lady and is also a young girl. She also looks terrified. I quickly take a few steps back from them, say thank you very much, and walk away as fast as possible. When checking out I see the two young girls also checking out and we made eye contact and I felt horrible. I told my best friend about it. He then proceeded to break down how I actually look. When I was younger I was a very skinny and short guy. I was very non threatening to anybody. I was very muscular but my weight really hid my muscles. As I’ve grown older I felt like a became a bit chubbier but this isn’t the case. My friend told me that I have gained a good amount of weight and my weight has really made me look very muscular. Also, where I live is going through a heat wave so my clothes were really light and made me look even bigger. Let’s not even talk about my resting bitch face. Just a very jarring and embarrassing experience.

TL;DR- I approached two strangers without much thought and scared the crap out of them.

TLTL;DR- Stranger Danger

11
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/LongAd4250 on 2025-07-04 20:42:50+00:00.


This happened yesterday and I still feel sick about it. My sister Emma (26F) and her boyfriend Jake had been together for 3 years. We all knew a proposal was coming. At our mom’s birthday dinner, Jake stood up and started a heartfelt speech. Emma looked emotional, clearly realizing what was about to happen.

He pulled out the ring, got down on one knee, and in that moment, my dumbass yelled, “FINALLY!” Way louder than I meant to. The entire restaurant went silent. Emma’s face turned bright red. Jake fumbled the ring and dropped it. Total chaos.

Emma said yes, but she was clearly upset. Later she told me I ruined the moment and made it about myself. I was honestly just excited and thought I was being funny, but I see now how selfish and inappropriate it was.

My whole family is mad at me, and Emma won’t return my texts. I’ve been replaying it constantly, wishing I could take it back. I didn’t mean to steal her spotlight, but I did.

TL;DR: I yelled during my sister’s proposal and completely embarrassed her, ruining what was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of her life.

12
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/boredthing_69 on 2025-07-04 17:01:28+00:00.


So ive had a crush on this guy for ages but ive got a seizure condition. My seizures are usually caused by stressful and getting overly nervous. Obviously, this goes amazing with having anxiety lol.

So basically me and my crush are js on a walk and im thinking that it's going well and he feels the same abt me. Im also freaking out internally bc this could be the day we have our first kiss which is terrifying but in a good way (idk if that makes sense).

After like an hour or so we're at the top of some hill, js talking abt random stuff and he jokingly says 'this would be a great place to kiss.' This kinda stuff gets me really nervous and red and i start laughing awkwardly then i half jokingly lean in to kiss him. Big mistake lol.

He leans in as well, literally pulling me in to kiss him, so im fcking terrified of whats happening but also super happy abt it bc i wanna kiss him. Then js before we can actually kiss everything goes blank and when it's not blank, we're sitting on the ground and hes js making sure im okay. He starts explaining that i had a seizure and hes really sorry abt it, still obviously checking if im okay and asking if he should call anyone. Im like 'nahhh it's all good'.

After all this happened he asks 'ik this is probably a really awkward time to say but i still think this is a good place to kiss.' I agree w that and kiss him, so now we're dating lol.

TL;DR: i had a seizure trying to kiss my crush but we're dating now

Quick edit: i know its not exactly a fuck up but it started with a fuck up and ended rlly well lol

13
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Successful_Foot7697 on 2025-07-04 07:55:46+00:00.


It was nice and warm out today and felt like doing my school work at a cafe. I get my drink, then set up outside on their patio, laptop on the table, purse under the table. I had been there a for a while when I heard a car slam on their breaks. I look up and see a beautiful husky derping about without a care in the world. well, of course I try to help. With a little convincing and my best cute dog calling voice, he trots over to me and lets me look at his collar. There's a number on the tag which I call, tell them where I am and I sit on the sidewalk with the doggo and wait for the owners to come pick him up. About 20 minutes later the owner picks up their dog. I'm feeling super wholesome until I'm feeling super stupid that I just left my stuff completely unattended at the table. Literally just as that thought goes through my head I can see my purse is knocked over. My laptop was still on the table, but my wallet was snatched.

Joke's on them though; I didn't have any cash, and I turned of my debit card immediately so they just got a cheap wallet full of useless plastic lol

TL;DR: Saw a cute dog in the street, forgot I had stuff at my table, came back to find my wallet stolen.

14
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Immediate-Cherry-195 on 2025-07-03 16:59:12+00:00.


I was helping my parents clean out their attic and found my old pokemon collection from when I was like 8 and the cards looked pretty rough so I threw them in the trash right away thinking they're pretty much worthless.

My dad saw them later on (at the garbage can) and told me to check in case they're worth something so I pulled them back out and decided to check them out on ebay in case they're worth something. I found out I had a first edition Charizard that was apparently worth some nice money. After checking out all the cards (I had to check pretty deep cuz some of them were pretty much destroyed so they weren't worth anything) I ended up selling the Charizard one for 3.2k and the rest of the collection for another 1.2k. I almost threw away literally over four grand because I assumed they were trash. Thank you dad!!

TL;DR: I put away my old pokemon cards thinking that they're aren't worth anything, turns out they're worth over 4k

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TangerineLily on 2025-07-03 18:54:17+00:00.


So I'm a lazy and a procrastinator, and when my car registration came, I figured I'd get around to it eventually. I though that as long as I never get pulled over, no one would know, because we don't put registration stickers on our license plates anymore.

Well, today I got pulled over just for that! The cop asked the usual "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and I thought I was going too slow on the highway because I'd had to really slow down for a merging car. Nope. He said my registration was expired. I played dumb of course, and just took the ticket. I didn't know cops just randomly checked that stuff if they were behind you in traffic.

Now I have to pay a $244 ticket for being lazy.

TL;DR: Didn't renew my car's registration, got caught and now have to pay for a ticket.

16
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/throwawayjustsayhay on 2025-07-02 23:30:45+00:00.


TIFU by trying to brush a crumb off my co-workers face

I (25f) tried to brush a crumb off my (27m) co-workers face. I am kinda new to this job and we have to wear masks at work so I’ve never seen this co-workers full face before. Our supervisor planned a going away party for someone so all of us had to be at this restaurant to participate in the celebration. It was at one of those nice restaurants that’s kinda dim inside and they serve you fresh bread while you wait. So everyone is eating bread making crumbs and small talk and since I’m the newer person I’m just doing my best to be friendly and not a statue or on my phone. My second mistake. My first one was showing up to this on my off hours I should’ve lied and said I was sick or my car broke literally anything but no I just had to go be sociable. Anyways I start talking to a co-worker that is the alternative shift for the same thing I do and he’s pretty laidback. And I don’t know what got into me if it was the fact that my most recent social interactions have been with family and friends or how I typically have a “mom vibe” but I told this man “hey you got some crumbs on your face…” (he tries to brush them off nothing) “ it’s still there..do you want me to get it?” He’s says yes. YALL. I go to pick the big crumb off like this 🤏 but last second I decide to go for a sweeping hand motion instead. AND THANK GOD BECAUSE IT WAS NOT A CRUMB BUT A MOLE!! COULD YOU IMAGINE. I 🤏 OOPS SORRY GOT YOUR MOLE!! I THOUGHT I WAS A CRUMB BUT IT WAS YOUR MOLE AND I PULLED IT OFF. Which I definitely would have attempted if I didn’t try to brush it off last second. I would have turned to dust and blown away infinity war style. Anyway he simply goes “didja get it?” “Yup sure did.” Luckily only one other person saw this lil event unfold but I’m not sure if she knew the full extent of my fuck up. Anyways yall I went to hide in the bathroom until the food showed up. Thank goodness he’s alternate shift I can not face this guy again. I feel like he knows I thought his mole was a crumb.

TL;DR: Was at a work dinner. Thought my coworkers mole was a bread crumb and went to brush it off. Was not a crumb in fact there were no crumbs. Went to hide in bathroom till food came.

17
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MarmyFlamOfficial on 2025-07-03 17:54:35+00:00.


I was completely exhausted and half-asleep, just trying to make it through the day. Without thinking, I walked into what I thought was the men's restroom. My mind was foggy, and I didn’t even bother checking the sign on the door. I went in, washed my face, and leaned against the sink trying to wake up. A minute later, a group of girls walked in, and I stared at them in confusion. Still convinced I was in the right place, I told them, “Uh… you’re in the wrong restroom.” One of them looked at me and replied, “No, you are.” That’s when everything hit me. I looked around, noticed the lack of urinals, and realized I had just walked into the women’s restroom by mistake. I froze, completely embarrassed, and rushed out.

TL;DR: I was super tired and accidentally walked into the women’s restroom without realizing. When a group of girls came in, I told them they were in the wrong place turns out, I was the one who messed up. Total embarrassment.

18
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Difficult_Warning301 on 2025-07-02 23:30:01+00:00.


This isn’t a HUGE F*ck up but enough that I feel bad enough to post.

I ordered sushi and sushi to go bar.

The person who person who ordered after me got their box. The next box was put up and the number “79” called. I took the box.

I walked out but it didn’t feel like the right amount of food in the box. It felt heavy for a sushi roll. So I opened it and looked. It was not the right food. I walked right back in and handed it back and apologized. I then pulled out my receipt and noticed the number “77” on it 🤦‍♀️. They made the other person’s food again since they couldn’t give him that one since I technically left with it. I felt awful.

My order came up soon.

TL;DR I didn’t realize my receipt had an order number and took the wrong food order.

19
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Odd-Appeal-6740 on 2025-07-03 13:05:57+00:00.


I pulled a muscle at the gym yesterday and remembered I had an old tube of pain relief cream, like that deep-heating menthol stuff. I applied it generously to my lower back, then plopped on the couch in my shorts, scrolling TikTok.

What I forgot is that I didn’t wash my hands.

Ten minutes later, I scratch an itch. You know the kind. The kind.

Within seconds, I felt the gates of hell open between my legs. My bits were on fire. Like someone dipped my downstairs in ghost pepper oil. I leapt off the couch, tore off my clothes, and ran to the bathroom.

I tried cold water. Made it worse. Tried baby wipes. So much worse. I was doing full lunges around the house, moaning like I was being exorcised.

Ended up using a bag of frozen peas and Googling “how to neutralize menthol burn on genitals.” Reddit came through, ironically.

Girlfriend came home to find me naked, panting, and cradling peas like I was breastfeeding them.

TL;DR: Didn’t wash my hands after applying muscle cream. Touched myself. Spent the next 45 minutes regretting every decision I’ve ever made.

20
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/SwaggedUp06 on 2025-07-03 12:12:07+00:00.


This all happened 2 days ago, but I decided to post it here anyway.

I (M18), was at my grandparents place for a weekend. I had been dealing with some minor gum issues and had notified my grandma about it, as I knew she had battled gum issues in the past. She gave me a bottle of pure tea tree oil, suggested 3 drops in 150ml of water to rinse and spit out. IMPORTANTLY: SPIT OUT.

I told her that I dont really taste anything so she told me to try 10 drops. After rinsing and spitting out, she decided to let me take the bottle home. The following night at home, I was doing the rinse and spit, when I got the clever thought that "Oh! Since its tea tree, safe to use for your mouth, (or so I thought), Im sure there are some health benefits of swallowing it".

I ended up drinking 10 drops of pure tea tree oil dilluded with just 150ml of water, with the idea that it was a goo idea cause I am a very dehydrated person anyway.

In bed, right before putting the phone down, I decided to look up tea tree oil to see how healthy my choice had been. Upon googling it I was told to rush to the hospital immediately.

After walking to the hospital (its a 5 or 6 minute walk) I ended up being strapped down in a chair and being poked with needles. Then they rolled the chair in the back of an ambulance and we were headed for the city. They checked my blood pressure, heart rate and regularity, and blood sugar levels, all of which they said were textbook perfect.

I was made to stay in a crowded fluorescent hospital hallway for 6 hours from 1-7am, and then I had to wait in a car for 30 minutes as we drove back to town where I could finally catch 5 hours of probably the worst sleep of my life. I luckily walked off fine though, with no lasting symptoms or anything.

Also, concerning little extra. Some of my doctors had to use chatgtp to understand what tea tree oil was.

TL;DR, drank 10 drops pure tea tree oil and ended up in the hospital.

21
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/tek9cb on 2025-07-02 15:54:36+00:00.


I had been going to a local dentist for years, and was getting increasingly dissatisfied with the level of care. Like, having to return multiple times for incorrectly done fillings, having to fight to get the excess compound removed from between my teeth and from where it was impacting my bite, temperature sensitivity that only appeared after fillings were done, etc. And on top of all that, they stopped accepting my insurance.

So when I moved, I was more than happy to switch dentists and got a great recommendation from a coworker. New dentist uncovers just how badly the old one screwed me.

There was some other stuff, but the worst example was a filling drilled deeper than it should have been and the cavity not adequately cleaned out before the compound was applied, which was causing the temperature sensitivity I had been complaining about. She drilled the old filling out, took some photos of the nastiness under the filling, cleaned me up and refilled, but said long term solution was unfortunately going to be a root canal.

I say unfortunate because it kills the tooth and makes it very prone to cracking or worse down the line, and I'm pretty young to need one (31). She was very open about the risks but still said it was the best option and got the paperwork going for a pre-authorization while I made up my mind.

Skip forward about 5 months of just putting up with the temperature sensitivity as my new normal. Suddenly about a week and a half ago, temperature sensitivity upgrades to constant pain. I start slamming advil, and a tube of orajel is my best friend. It doesn't get better for long enough that I call the dentist and make an emergency appointment, but between calling and actually seeing the doctor, my cheek starts looking suspiciously puffy.

Sure enough, root canal is now critical and I've got an infection. The words "drain" and "abscess" were used.

Well. I was 31 years old when I found out that having an infection makes local anaesthetic less effective.... The area being more acidic than normal messes with the function, apparently. Dentist didn't want to wait for the infection to clear before operating because I was in so much pain.

Topical benzocaine and 3 shots of lidocaine latter, I could still feel a lot of the drilling going on. The feeling of the nerve getting cleaned out is probably the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. My legs were shaking the whole time and my cheek swelled up to the size of a tennis ball after. It's still (slightly less) swollen two days later and I'm on mega antibiotics for another week.

So yeah, when the insurance company actually agrees with your dentist that something is medically necessary, you should probably just do it.

TL;DR: I needed a root canal but didn't want one, ended up really really needing it 5 months later and having to get it basically without anesthesia :(

22
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Ok_Sound_6440 on 2025-07-03 06:21:03+00:00.


I just found out I missed my FSA claim deadline and basically gave my company back about $400 for nothing.

I thought the cutoff was later, but it was actually June 30 — now it’s July and too late.

I did this last year too with a wellness perk I never bothered to finish claiming. I always think I’ll get to it “next week” and then forget.

I hate paperwork — my brain just shuts down when I see fine print or extra forms, so I end up wasting money like an idiot.

I know it’s my fault, but it still feels so stupid that I work for this money, then just hand it back because I couldn’t do a basic form.

Not looking for pity — just needed to rant. Anyone else ever done this? How do you keep from missing stuff like this?

TL;DR: I forgot to claim my FSA benefit by the June 30 deadline, so I lost $400 for no reason.

23
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Cultural-Jackfruit44 on 2025-07-03 03:58:06+00:00.


Okay. So this happened last month, but I’m still recovering from the emotional damage.

There’s this girl at my uni I’ve had a crush on forever. Let’s call her Camila. She’s Colombian, smart, funny, and bilingual. I thought, hey, maybe if I show off my amazing (read: Duolingo owl-given) Spanish skills, she’ll finally see me as more than just “that guy who always forgets his pen in stats class.”

So one day I overhear her talking about needing help with a Spanish literature assignment. I seize my moment.

I slide over like a budget Casanova and go, “¿Necesitas ayuda con tu tarea?” (thank you, Duolingo). She looks impressed. I think. She starts speaking at full Colombian speed, and I’m just standing there smiling like an idiot, nodding, sweating.

Instead of admitting I only understood about four words, I double down. I tell her I’m half Spanish (I’m not), my grandma taught me (she didn’t), and I love Gabriel García Márquez (never read a word).

Next thing I know, she invites me over to help with the essay. I frantically binge YouTube videos and ChatGPT translations for two days straight, and somehow manage to not totally embarrass myself. We even bond a bit. I think it’s working.

Fast forward a week—she texts me out of the blue and says she’s going to a family event and would love if I came along. She says it'll be good Spanish practice. I'm thinking BBQ, music, maybe dancing. I say yes.

I show up… in jeans and a hoodie… to a funeral.

Like, a real, emotional, tears and black clothes funeral.

Apparently, her great-aunt had passed, and she’d mentioned it in her voice note but I only heard "celebración de la vida" and thought it meant party. So here I am, smiling like an idiot, holding flowers I bought from Tesco, and someone mistakes me for the priest’s assistant.

Camila is too nice to call me out. She just quietly explains the situation (in Spanish, of course) to her entire family, and I sit in the corner for two hours, clutching my coat like it’s a life raft while people cry around me.

The kicker? Her abuela comes up to me afterward, grabs my hands, and says something so fast and emotional that I just go, “Sí… gracias…” and try not to cry from embarrassment.

Needless to say, I haven't made eye contact with Camila since. But hey, my Spanish vocab has definitely improved.

TL;DR: Pretended to be fluent in Spanish to impress a girl, ended up crashing her great-aunt’s funeral thinking it was a party.

24
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Sorceress683 on 2025-07-02 00:17:30+00:00.


Obligatory not today, however recent. I decided that since for once it was an unseasonably cool day meaning around high 60s till 70s,

I was going to go out and take a nice walk. now, when I get going I really get going. So, I sunscreen to my face and arms even got my back and my neck where my t-shirt would pull away got my arms and what not. Put on a hat full brim even and I was wearing t-shirt, capris, socks and sneakers. Packed everything I thought I needed like multiple large bottles of water snacks and a camera. One thing I didn't pack was the bottle of sunscreen.

No this is a beautiful cool day however there were no clouds and no cloud cover. Started around 10:00 in the morning heading west for almost three hours. That's right, the sun was behind me the whole way. Round 12:30 or 1:00, I turned back and headed east for 3 hours. So in total around 6 hours of walking with the Sun behind me or directly above me the whole way. And I have fair skin and red hair.

So I'm kind of thrown to sunburn. Also, even though it was cool, there was no cloud cover and no shade. When I got home, back to my legs look like a cherry tomato. Kind of my legs didn't look like much. Still slightly pink though, and now, a week later, I have a dark brown band around my lower leg stretching from mid calf to ankles and the rest of my legs are white.

TLDR: am prone to sunburn. Walked for 6 hours with the sun directly behind me having not sunscreened my legs. Got a stupid looking tan band.

25
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/PerfectFlower8267 on 2025-07-03 00:52:59+00:00.


me and my friend were cleaning my mom's house when on the TV, came an ad about something I wasn't really paying attention to. my friend, bea, turned to me and said "sometimes I really get jesus." now, bea (fake name), is an atheist. we've had talks about the existence of a God and all that so I thought we were gonna start talking about it again. I turn to her in full confidence and say, 'yeah i mean dying on the cross for everyone's sins was pretty hype 🤙" followed by "i really think it was chill but also lowkey his dad set him up for failure." at this point I was js kidding around. but after a beat of silence, bea turns to me and says, "so can I tell you something?" me, a fool, thinking she was gonna say something about God, gleefully turns back to her and asks what.

"i was talking about cheezits."

the ad I wasn't paying attention to was an ad about cheezits. I'm a fool. a clown even. I burst into a fit of embarrassed laughter, followed by tears. bea told me she was confused about if cheezits discontinued. cheezits were in fact not discontinued or put on a cross for our sins.

TL;DR cheezits and Jesus sound very similar at 2am.

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