this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2024
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Today I Fucked Up

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r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/cjw_5110 on 2024-09-14 21:45:19+00:00.


This year we decided to plant a little garden. We've gotten some delicious tomatoes, zucchini, and various types of peppers, from the sweet to the spicy.

Most of the peppers she planted were ones I'm unfamiliar with, so I've mostly stuck with what I've known. We have some Thai chilies, which are moderately spicy, and I've been loving them.

One pepper that's been calling my name was one my wife told me was sweet, so I figured I'd give it a shot. We've got about three dozen growing, and I was excited to try it.

To be sure, spicy is kind of my thing, so much so that my work colleagues in Hyderabad were shocked when levels of heat they could barely stand were only on the higher end of comfortable for me.

I grabbed what I thought was a sweet pepper and took a hearty bite, about 75% of the whole thing. It was sweet and had a lovely crunch to it. About fifteen seconds later, it started. By a minute in, I was sweating. Clearly something was wrong.

A Google image search showed that it was, in fact, a lemon drop chilli, with a typical Scoville score between 30,000-50,000. For reference, a jalapeno is usually 2,500 to 10,000.

By this point, I was pacing around, waiting for the pain to subside. My kids were looking at me with morbid curiosity as I pretended everything was fine. My wife was half apologizing and half bursting with laughter. Milk did nothing.

After ten minutes, I was left with only the remnants. If I were prepared, it would've been great, but I also wouldn't eaten it in the context of literally anything that wasn't air and nothingness.

TL;DR: Trusted that my wife was knowledgeable about the peppers in our garden even though neither of us have raised anything edible in our 9 years of marriage, and learned the hard way that she was...not.

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