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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/siaiix on 2024-10-05 17:31:44+00:00.
Hi,
Im writing this as my sister an I are barricaded in our rooms from my 16 year old brother. He’s not diagnosed with Autism, but when we go to the hospital the first thing every person asks is “is he autistic”.
He has the mannerisms and the behaviors (and more) when we compare to other videos and behaviors of autistic persons. When my mother tried to get him a diagnosis and they gaslit her and said she was “just spoiling him”. He only got an ODD diagnosis.
If the fact that he doesn’t have a an official diagnosis puts you off, please don’t read this. I’m stressed enough.
My mom died in 2020. We’re poor so we couldn’t afford the legal fees to become official legal guardians. But we’ve been caring for him all this time. He lives with my sister and I. Today I am at my Witt’s end.
We’re low on food (going when I get paid) and my brother wants eggs to eat. We said we can’t give him any. He went straight into fight mode, and my sister and I had to flee the kitchen and go to our rooms. When my sister got to her room, he stuck his foot in the door and kept trying to open it over and over again.
The only thing that stops him is when she teaches a live class, so she played a recording of a previous class. That got him to stop. Currently he is in the living room coloring in silence. He never does anything in silence. He’s listening and waiting for her to stop.p so he can confront her again.
He refuses to eat unless we get him eggs. He hasn’t eaten all morning and won’t take any alternatives.
In the last 3 months we’ve had 2 hospitalizations for him. The first they sent him home, the second they wanted to keep him temporarily but said they weren’t sure they could find a facility for him so my sister and I would have to stay at the hospital for days until they had a place for him and we weren’t allowed to leave because he’s a minor.
My sister doesn’t drive. We have pets. We have jobs. We can’t stay at the hospital with him for days on end until they find a facility. We can’t even take shifts with him because my sister doesn’t drive. So we took him home.
For the last 3 months we’ve been calling agency after agency for mental health care. No one will take us. They say they don’t treat kids like him, they say they don’t prescribe medication, they say he has to consent even as a minor to the mental health care.
We are at a dead end.
My sister is 5’4 110lbs and I’m 5’5 130lbs. My brother is almost 6’ and over 200 lbs. he fractured both my legs 3 months ago and I’m still healing from his last episode.
We’ve called the cops and all they can do is take him to the hospital. We’ve taken him to the hospital and they usually just send him home.
He’s going to kill us. My death will be because my brother didn’t have eggs for breakfast. (This is not part of his routine)
And no one will help us.
We applied for legal aid to get guardianship, they are not taking cases where I live. When we go to the hospital no one has any help or answers for us. The numbers they give us say they have a waitlist or can’t so anything but talk to him. He can’t be TALKED to he’s completely unreasonable.
We have no idea what to do. Sometimes we have to hide the knives and scissors for fear he’ll use the, on us one day. He’s going to kill us.
We don’t know what to do. Advice?