this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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top 11 comments
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[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"Fuck hitler's mom"

Yeah that sounds like the setup to a bootstrap paradox in which you were always hitler's dad.

[–] Chai@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Get a vasectomy, then start the relationship.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] 001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In an alternate timeline:

"Yea who's the fuck is Hitler? Himmler is the fuhrer of our fatherland, the Great German Reich, that spans the entire world!"

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What if Hitler was the best case scenario result of time traveler interference? He bungled a lot of decisions someone like Himmler probably wouldn't have. What if WWII is ultimately unavoidable, and every other timeline was way worse?

[–] 001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Maybe Hitler is actually a time traveller that pretends to be a nazi because from his timeline, the german fascist took over the world was way worse so he had to join the nazis to defeat the nazis? Maybe the Holocaust was like 10 times worse in his timeline and he intentionally did stupid decisions to reduce the kill count.

[–] RichardBonham@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Such is the nature of time travel that you go back in time to seduce and fuck Hitler's mom and guess what?

Your son is Adolf Hitler.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

If you think about it, there are on average 30 to 80 million sperm in a typical ejaculation. So I'd find Hitler's dad on the street, bump into him and jiggle his nuts a bit. Surely that'd be enough to change history.

[–] outer_spec@lemmy.studio 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Heads up, Hitler's mom died of breast cancer when he was young. If you're going to seduce her, you should be emotionally prepared for the consequences.

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

So you're saying Hitler could have been one of the Guardians of the Galaxy?