this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] lefaucet@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 hour ago

These good Mormon boys have wrapped your answer up in a nice little song

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mKB_W4Fv_vY

[–] Brutticus@lemm.ee 2 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

In Exodus, Moses asked to see God's face, and was not allowed to. God told him he would allow Moses to see his "back" instead. When I was a boy at Yeshiva, the prevailing wisdom was that God showed Moses the back of his neck, and his Tefilin knot. The Tefilin contains passages relating the Shema, and my Rabbis connected it back to how God has a devotion of his own to Israel in his tefilin (which this source also does).

The tefilin is a rite only permitted for men to practice, so I guess that's ones thing for this meme. But the word used for back, אֲחֹרָ֑י, is more accurately translated as "butt." Now why would God need a butt?

This is old Testament by the way. The J source for those who care, who often portrays God as a little earthier than the others.

Imagine going into a cave to see God and it's just him bent over showing hole

[–] Allonzee@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

"The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question. 'You believe in God?'

'No.'

BANG Dead.

'You believe in God?'

'Yes.'

'You believe in my God?'

'No.'

BANG Dead.

'My God has a bigger dick than your God!'"

-George Carlin

[–] dsilverz@thelemmy.club 2 points 13 hours ago

Baphomet is an occult archetype for the Supreme Deity, composed by both the male and female principles. The commonly found art/statue of Baphomet has both a phallus and breasts, representing the interconnectedness between these principles, just like Yin and Yang from Taoism are complementary to each other.

The same duo happens across various belief systems, such as Ancient Egypt (Isis and Osiris, Nun and Nunet), Brazilian Tupi-guarani indigenous people faith (Tupã e Jaci), some esoteric branches of Islam (Alaat or Al-Lat, the female principle of Allah), and so on. And there's also Luciferianism, where there are Lucifer and Lilith sometimes seen as complementary, sometimes seen as "enemies".

Regarding the Christianity, the Holy Ghost is a feminine name in Hebrew, so it'd be the nearest to this female principle of the Supreme Deity, a.k.a. The Mother Goddess (Asherah as others correctly pointed across the comments).

While we tend to see the male-female principles as phallus and vagina, the reproductive organs are actually just a representation on the physical realm from spiritual, energetic polarities. Everyone has both male and female energies (i.e. a man has also female energy within him, a woman has also a male energy within her), and we shall seek to balance them, seeking equilibrium between our inner man and our inner woman.

The patriarchal society tried to erase the figure of the Mother Goddess across the centuries, trying to make us forget how the first belief systems worshipped a Goddess instead of a God (Venus figurines, for example) but it seems like that this knowledge is being rediscovered nowadays.

[–] ytg@sopuli.xyz 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I can follow this, up to

they are neopronouns

I believe that that's a decision made by translators of the bible. Hebrew doesn't have lowercase letters, and the Greek versions of the New Testament that I found don't capitalize as much. And are they distinct?

[–] derfunkatron@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago

Yeah, it’s more of an act of reverence or deference. However, it is a pronoun (cis-gendered, and preferred) which some people believe never occurs in the Bible.

[–] elliot_crane@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

Hey christofash men, if everybody is entitled to their own personal and private relationship with god, and you should love god as he loves you, it’s totally legal for your wife to think about god’s massive peener while you’re having sex strictly for the purposes of procreation. Just noodle on that for a bit.

[–] Saprophyte@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

Weren't Asherah and Yahweh a consort pair? Wasn't Baal their son?

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

According to Mormons, god is literally male, with (perfect) male genitalia. There is also a god--the-mother, who is female, and is both secret and sacred (they really don't like talking about her), and also utterly subservient to god the father, because of course she is. According to Mormon theology, both gods were once mortal, and were raised up to godhood by their godly parents; Mormons--if they're good enough--can go to Mormon super-heaven, where they will also become gods in their own right. Before everyone was born physically, they were born spiritually, in... More or less the same way babies are born now, except in heaven, to a heavenly mom. And there were hundreds of billions of spirit babies, so I guess that god the dad and god the mom really like sex or something? The implications start getting really, really weird, very fast. Which is part of the reason why Mormons don't usually want to talk about stuff like this with people that aren't Mormon.

I believe that the quote is, "As man is, so once was god. As god is, so man can become," or something like that.

Source: was Mormon for >25 years.

[–] RidderSport@feddit.org 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Congrats for getting out I guess?

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

To paraphrase Nietzsche, that which doesn't kill you psychologically scars you and leaves you with a lifetime of therapy bills.

[–] RidderSport@feddit.org 1 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Hey pills are great, apparently quite a few people like them. Can you recommend any?

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 1 points 16 hours ago

Currently I recommend bupropion and atomoxetine, but once I get an appointment with a psychiatrist, I'll probably recommend lisdexamphetamine.

Modafanil is pretty great too.

[–] Sassington@feddit.uk 6 points 1 day ago

Want to know why life is always fucking you? If God has a dick, his dick would be omnipresent therefore you're constantly being dicked by God.

[–] CommanderCloon@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago

It's not more heretical to claim that jesus wasn't entirely human, quite the opposite in fact. It's a very old theological debate of homoousianism vs heteroousianism vs homoiousianism (same substance, different substance, similar substance). This debate was settled in the 4th century and Arianism (heteroousianism) was rejected

Homoousianism - god the father is of the same substance as Christ, is the most prevalent vision nowadays, which means that Christ is purely divine and not human

[–] Unpigged@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You should know how much time Christian monks spent reasoning about the foreskin of Christ.

It's a lot.

Long enough to postulate that once the Jesus ascended, his foreskin ascended as well and become. The. Rings. Of. Saturn.

Sky will never be the same, won't it?

[–] ChanchoManco@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

At that point it's just Greek mythology all over again.

[–] Unpigged@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 8 hours ago

Yeah but with significantly less blackjack and hookers and significantly more foreskins. Cause you didn't think there was only one foreskin on display for all those pilgrims, did you?

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago

You see, god stoked his divine dick and then, there came a big bang and billions of galaxy came out of the ejaculated foam.

[–] omega_x3@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

God never addressed themselves as him/her. They referred to themselves as I am.

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

There are definitely He pronouns in the bible

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

And the equivalent of we/us, as I think you’re alluding to.

[–] Live_your_lives@lemmy.world 30 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Technically, you can't say that He/Him are God's preferred pronouns because the capitalization doesn't appear in the oldest texts. They are more a matter of tradition than of reality. However, you could say that's even worse because Christians have embraced these neopronouns on God's behalf.

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[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 57 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (13 children)

I don't think He/Him are neopronouns as the prefix neo- means new. Surely His would be old (paleopronouns), or timeless (aeternuspronouns), rather than new

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[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Cut due to Jewish tradition of circumcision.

[–] BatmanAoD@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

That only applies to humans. So Jesus was certainly cut (and uncontroversially), but if God the Father has genitalia, he may not be; same for the holy ghost.

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

Maybe God is trans because he is simultaneously both cut and uncut

There are several other gods and goddesses named in the old testament, so I'm willing to buy that the Christian god has a dick, and it's for inserting into goddesses. And given the personality on display by said diety, I'd wager said dick could pass through the eye of a needle and still have room for the camel.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is excellent:

If God has no cock, then being male doesn't need a cock to be real.

If he has a cock, then does he only use it to pee? Or does he use it to both pee and fuck? Does that mean he had sexual relations with a minor who was also married already?

Does the Trinity have a cock? Or is it only the father or is it only the son? You can clearly see that the son had a cock. But did he keep it as a ghost cock? Do they have 3 different cocks? Or do they share a cock?

Since they supposedly are virgin, do they have to jack off? Do they jack off at the same time? Or does one have to hide somewhere to jack off? Or are they okay just jacking off in front of the others?

What do they pee? If you take a shower in god pee, do you smell good? Or bad?

And why all these questions about pee anyway...how about poo? Is God poo good or bad? If it's bad, doesn't that mean that God has bad things inside of him? Does that mean they gotta eat something? What do they eat? Can we eat it too? How come God let's people die of hunger if he has a source of God food?

[–] BatmanAoD@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

Pretty sure the official position in most sects, including Catholicism, is that God is not "male", but singular male pronouns are nevertheless the only "correct" pronouns for "Him".

[–] olosta@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago (9 children)

The weird thing is that a lot of christians (including the Catholic church) affirm that God "the Father" has actually no gender.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_of_God_in_Christianity

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[–] Stache_@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Now I’m wondering if God has a belly button….cause that would imply an umbilical cord

[–] randon31415@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

OR an unbiblical cord?

[–] Zorg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 day ago

Nah, that would be silly.

God is more like a platypus. No nipples or bellybutton (but could surely produce milk if they felt like it), venomous, and hatched from an egg.

[–] half@lemy.lol 45 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

In mormonism if you don't do their special ceremonies and have multiple wives, you lose your dick for eternity. I learned that in Sunday school when I was 12 lol.

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[–] CptEnder@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago

Oh there's plenty of Christian nationalist men thinking about "divine dick"

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