this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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I literally cannot think of a better punchline

Edit: See it for yourself

top 50 comments
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[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Guys, come on. They clearly meant it in terms of security.

"Come on in, hackers, we're always open."

[–] n3cr0@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

I skipped briefly through the entire video and everything I've heard and seen was absolute bullshit bingo.

[–] NightShot@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago
[–] polysics@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Thanks for this. I needed a good laugh today.

[–] bitwolf@sh.itjust.works 49 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Open? Sure, definitely open.... To vulnerabilities

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Open windows with no screens to keep the bugs out.

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Open to everything except the concept of unix.

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 290 points 2 days ago (4 children)

The most open ports

The most open CVEs

The most open complaint threads

Windows 🥇

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Open to malicious actors, because of all the bugs.

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[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 37 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Sometimes the elites poke fun at us with obviously untrue, absurd statements. It's the equivalent of grabbing someone's fist, pushing it in their face, and saying "stop punching yourself".

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[–] octopus_ink@lemmy.ml 49 points 2 days ago
[–] Shady_Shiroe@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

In a void, anything can the "The most ____"

[–] Milk_Sheikh@lemm.ee 46 points 2 days ago (11 children)

Open to what exactly..?

OPEN TO WHAT!?

[–] JustJack23@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 day ago

Open to data collection opportunities

[–] LifeLemons@lemmy.ml 41 points 2 days ago

Open to advertisers

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago

Infection, zero days, and data collection. TOTALLY open to those.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 15 points 2 days ago

Everyone but the user.

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[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 52 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Didn't they call it "the most secure" a while ago?

Why are they allowed to openly lie?

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

In the case of marketing, it's just considered an opinion, mostly because if anything like that is ever put forth to a Judge, there's 900 odd ways to loophole it.

"We meant our assholes, your honor; as open as they come."

"We meant uhm... accepting."

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[–] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)

A probably a bit political for this topic, but most companies are allowed to lie about most things. Only a few things that they're not allowed to lie about.

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[–] asteriskeverything@lemmy.world 110 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Bitch I can't even find basic settings cuz they are so hidden in sub menus

I'm no programmer or UX designer but I can imagine what a mess things are on the dev side

[–] superkret@feddit.org 99 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

As an admin it gets so much worse. Twice a year your admin portal gets renamed, redesigned, merged with and/or split from another one, or removed, and all those changes are done halfway.
Which means some settings are only on the old version and others only on the new. Then the old one is discontinued even though the new one doesn't have all its functions, yet.
So you completely rely on Powershell. But wait, there's 2 incompatible versions of it now.

I'm currently thinking about a career change, after reading in Microsoft's official documentation that you need to install the new version of Powershell, import the beta version of several commandlets and then run a long script provided by them, only to keep every user on your org from creating their own Teams teams.
And their newest feature is allowing every user to put in their credit card info and buy MS products on the company domain without running it by IT. It's called "self service", enabled by default, and you have to click on a slider to disable it individually for every. single. product. Microsoft. offers.

[–] themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Jesus Christ.

I've been doing linux admin and honestly I haven't been looking back. My breaking point was Microsoft pushing a kb that rebooted domain controllers for no reason.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 27 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

I still remember the update that sent domain controllers into a bootloop.
That was fun!

And the one that bluescreened all Windows servers.
No, the other one!

Oh, and the one that did an in-place-upgrade by itself, then locked your server cause it wasn't licensed for the new OS version.

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[–] obsolete@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

Yes. It attracts a lot of viruses and other nasties.

[–] badbytes@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago

Without walls, you wouldn't need windows.

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 139 points 2 days ago (12 children)

unfucking believable... they are saying the quiet part out lout now

the least private operating system

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[–] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 21 points 2 days ago
[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 61 points 2 days ago (2 children)

most open to user privacy violations?

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago (10 children)

Most open for frustration. Most open for ads. Most open for taking away control from the user.

Trust me, in a few years windows will be a monthly subscription, still filled with ads and no control over your own pc. Windows 10 will turn to a yearly subscription already. 30 dollars per year per pc for security updates. Office is already subscription based. Companies smell money, want to turn everything to a subscription.

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 84 points 2 days ago

When one backdoor closes, three more open.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 86 points 2 days ago
[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 21 points 2 days ago

What happens when you favor marketing over anything else?

You just lie, lie, lie, so many times that you actually believe your own shit

[–] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 30 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Most open to making money at the expense of security.

"“What they were telling me was counterintuitive to everything I’d heard at Microsoft about ‘customer first,’” Harris said. “Now they’re telling me it’s not ‘customer first,’ it’s actually ‘business first.’”

DiCola, Harris’ then-supervisor, told ProPublica the race to dominate the market for new and high-growth areas like the cloud drove the decisions of Microsoft’s product teams. “That is always like, ‘Do whatever it frickin’ takes to win because you have to win.’ Because if you don’t win, it’s much harder to win it back in the future. Customers tend to buy that product forever.”

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[–] FoxyGrandpa@lemmy.world 70 points 2 days ago (8 children)

The goatse OS, if you will

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[–] mariusafa@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 2 days ago (3 children)
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[–] Underwaterbob@lemm.ee 27 points 2 days ago (13 children)

I had just hit the button on a recording session last night, and a fucking full page "ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE EOL OF WINDOWS 10!!" (paraphrased) popped up over my DAW. Yeah, I'm prepared alright Microsoft. I've got a flash drive with Linux ready to install if you keep pulling shit like this. It's going to suck because a lot of audio software developers are garbage with Linux support, but if Windows is just as garbage, there's no reason not to migrate.

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[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 38 points 2 days ago (2 children)

All users activity open for us to scrape! Recall™

The most open operating system!

Microsoft: Fuck your privacy!©

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[–] kubica@fedia.io 27 points 2 days ago (11 children)

So when does the false advertisement lawsuit start?

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[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This just reinforced my will to continue with the linux evangelization.

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[–] RadioFreeArabia@lemmy.cafe 11 points 2 days ago

Open for exploits and surveillance

[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 35 points 2 days ago (3 children)

most open to what? mostopentowhat?!

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