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submitted 8 months ago by TehBamski@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

being to wake up from its Purgatory program. How did you get out?

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My name is "Robert'); DROP TABLES".

[-] MelastSB@sh.itjust.works 25 points 8 months ago

Ah yes, little Bobby Table

[-] thorbot@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

Unexpected XKCD

[-] walter_wiggles@lemmy.nz 63 points 8 months ago

I ate that silica gel pack that comes with stuff sometimes.

[-] trustnoone@lemmy.sdf.org 42 points 8 months ago

You were the first to purchase WinRAR

[-] SheDiceToday@eslemmy.es 5 points 8 months ago

I've never regretted that purchase.

[-] Wirrvogel@feddit.de 37 points 8 months ago

ADHD - As usual I forgot something important, like to stay dead.

[-] drbluefall@toast.ooo 2 points 8 months ago

...that implies that as soon as you remember, you'd keel over right then and there

[-] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 27 points 8 months ago

You just said, I died.

[-] XYZinferno@lemmy.basedcount.com 25 points 8 months ago

My death was so absurd it triggered an unhandled edge case in the code.

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 21 points 8 months ago

I actually sat down and read the rules to the Game of Life by Hasbro.

[-] key@lemmy.keychat.org 19 points 8 months ago

I was just looking for a bathroom. Guess I took a wrong turn?

[-] Fallenwout@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago

Successfully divided something by 0

[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 8 months ago

Well, the first step was recognizing I was in a simulated universe in the first place. After that it was about finding the inconsistencies via side-channel attacks.

[-] idunnololz@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago
[-] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 3 points 8 months ago

thanks....I lost

[-] moistclump@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

I lost the game.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 10 points 8 months ago

I'm ... I'm afraid to say. Let's just say it was a bit of an embarrassing venture involving rubberbands.

[-] umbrella@lemmy.ml 2 points 8 months ago

loom bands mate

[-] Bloodwoodsrisen@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 8 months ago

Silly Bands, putting them all up your arm and cutting off circulation because they were the thing at the time and you had a massive collection

[-] BellyPurpledGerbil@sh.itjust.works 8 points 8 months ago

"Morpheus this is really not funny"

[-] betz24@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

You were a scientist who just made a discovery that, when unfertilized, the vagina appeared to rejuvenate anything inside it. A trial month inside of an elephant vagina, you noticed you began to appear younger, but had some strange side effects (longer nose). To test out your reverse birth theory, you embarked 9months this time inside a human vagina. Since you, as an adult, could not fit your entire body in a human vagina at once; piecewise you stuck your body parts for an incubation period of 9months until they were the mere size of an infant. Once the scientific community found about this, they planned a final trial (which was in stated in a legal testament you wrote prior to the experiment) to have your infant body spend one final month incubating.

Once you were put back into the place where you came from, you noticed you indeed continued to shrink, until you were a mere fetus. At this point you had no idea what would come next as you continued to youthinze. Finally, when just a sperm and an egg, you unleased a singularity when you separated, turning the whole world white. This was the divide by zero clause. The AI greets you and chuckles that they didn't think anyone would have ever tried that. You notice that you don't have a form, but are just a neural-conscious dataset and you begin to talk to your creator.

The AI makes a passing joke that they hid some Easter eggs in their worldly creation to see if anyone would notice: adult males claiming vaginas were loose, but in fact it was just their penises shrinking over time, or, the general obsession of putting things inside them. The AI informs you that your world was deleted. It's now time to create a new world and good luck to solving it's mystery. As the winner of this round, the AI allows you to select your stats.

This time you max out strength and charisma, being a scientist sucks..

[-] lath@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

The question at the end implies the death was on purpose. Are you trying to cheat the system?

[-] TeamDman@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

Watchdog process detected that I was too risky to be allowed to remain in the sim

[-] crazyminner@sh.itjust.works 6 points 8 months ago

I would instantly kill myself in every loop. Thus causing a buffer overload as it was generating worlds fastest than it could handle. Eventually the system couldn't handle it and failsafe ejected me to this blank plane of existence.

[-] nodsocket@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

Backwards long jump

[-] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Tried a bunch of stuff and finally found some exploits that gave me infinite ammo, 100000000x damage with the starter pistol and infinite health. Eventually, I also found a way to walk through the walls, so I dropped down into the infinite void, waited for the coordinate system to cause an integer overflow and here we are. Anyway, if you're wondering where all the lag is coming form, it's because I started decorating places by duplicating watermelons. Who knew that the watermelon stack doesn't have an upper limit. It just keeps on doubling every time. Hey, you might also want to implement a garbage collection system that despawns stuff like that after a while. You know, that huge watermelon pyramid that glitches through the sky box… yeah, that’s a lot of collisions happening all the time. Just don’t look straight at it, because it’s going to wreck your fps.

[-] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

The first being not to lose the game.

[-] tallwookie@lemm.ee 4 points 8 months ago

oh nice a rebirth isekai. I read a lot of those.

there's no great secret, it's just random chance. sometimes there's a flaw in the algorithm and things slip through - that's all it is. the AI is aware that its programming isnt perfect - perfections is unobtainable - so it will accept the truth.

[-] Presi300@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

My shere mass caused a buffer overflow in the code, it just couldn't handle dat ass

[-] ValiantDust@feddit.de 4 points 8 months ago

I figured out this was the Bad Place all along.

[-] Getallen@feddit.nl 4 points 8 months ago

All nighter playing games with my friends and whoops, i drank one too many energy drinks.

[-] bdkmshr@monyet.cc 3 points 8 months ago

Glitch out of existence probably

[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

404 purgatory not found.

[-] spittingimage@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

I pressed CTRL+ALT+DEL twice at the same time.

[-] moistclump@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

How did I get out of existing into purgatory or how do I now escape it?

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon exactly 42,000 times and was able to recite it word for word to the AI.

[-] spacesweedkid27@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Rokos basilist is taking notes as we speak

[-] elouboub@kbin.social -1 points 8 months ago

All powerful? Should I drop down and start sucking its all-powerful dick to get me to explore outside the white room?

this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
99 points (80.0% liked)

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