Christmas is so fucking stupid
this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2024
160 points (97.1% liked)
The Onion
4695 readers
535 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Grinch spotted
No, the act of cutting down a tree and decorating it to then put prettied up tree guts that are going into the landfill a couple weeks later...
Cook up massive meals where half if it goes to waste.
Its beyond stressful and all the shittiest music is played. I stock up nov just so I dont have to listen to that crap.
Stupid consumerism bullshit
"no" proceeds to prove why you're a grinch
So wanting to leave trees in the ground to collect CO2 and not create a fuck ton of garbage make me a grinch? So fucking be it, enjoy your stress riddled shitshow of a holiday
.. except the Christmas tree industry causes more trees to be planted in the long run
not necessarily, but all your other talking points are espoused and elaborated on by the grinch, who was written as a puppet for dr seuss to resolve his own hatred of christmas
Then do it better. Our Christmas tree is picked up by our council and turned into compost, petition your council to do the same. Like, go to your council's website, find the contact link, and send a quick email.
Every Christmas food leftover is just that - leftovers for the next few days.
The music is trash, sure, but so is all music played in supermarkets.
And if that doesn't work, then maybe just go out into town and steal all of the Christmas presents of whoville, and store them in your twisty little mountain cave.
What a wanker, I bet you're fun at parties
For having a logical train of thought?
Macabre