this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2023
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[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've completely given up on finding someone to spend my life with. I'm 27m and I have nothing to offer outside of love. Every girl I'm even slightly attracted to already has a boyfriend. I'm not unattractive but I have resting bitch face and I'm intimidating. I've lived my whole life with people being afraid of me which fuels my need for companionship. I know I'm not owed anything from anyone but that doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt.

Anymore I've just accepted that I'm going to die alone because I'm only going to be wanted for what I can provide when I just want to be fucking loved. My own family doesn't even love me. All they can talk about is how I'm not good enough or I'm not applying myself correctly.

I hate being a man..

[–] Shyder@lemmy.fmhy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

I feel you, man.

I'm 29 and in your same exact situation. I'm constantly reminded that I'm alone and the world isn't made for single men. The harder I try the stronger the depression hits back since all my efforts are meaningless. And each time I talk to someone about it I just get the most cliche responses.

I've just completely given up on love and accepted that I'll be alone the rest of my life. Since it looks like it won't be better, at least I don't want it to be worse...

I have to take care of a 3 year old with pink eye giving her antibiotic eye drops 4 times a day for a week. It's like wrangling a greased screaming pig. She doesn't sleep though the night from the coughing, so i dont sleep through the night. I'm all alone while my spouse is on a work trip for 2 weeks, so he gets to miss out on all of this start to finish! No daycare or taekwondo so I can get a break! No family or support! All me all alone with a shit eyed toddler and no sleep for 2 weeks straight. That's on top of all the other agonizing responsibilities haunting me every day. I'm so tired, 10 days left......

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I am so angry. I am so sick and tired of just stating my experiences as a woman and having people who are not women straight up tell me that I'm wrong. About my own life experiences. It's fucking exhausting to be surrounded on all sides by bad faith actors, knowing full well that you won't get through to them, and feeling defeated, like the world is going backwards and you can feel your rights being torn away from you bit by bit, trying desperately to stand up for yourself and having any words you say fall on deaf ears. I'm so sick of not being listened to. I'm so sick of not being believed. I am so fucking sick of not being respected. I just want to be treated like a human and not be criticised for literally just fucking existing.

I'm so done.

[–] limeaide@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm not a woman, but I am a minority living in a racist part of the USA, and I kinda know what you're talking about. It's really hard. I sometimes feel crazy because people don't believe me.

I constantly have to play this game of, "are they being rude, do they not like me, or are they being racist?" I feel gaslighted all the time. I feel lesser and it's tiring having to be who I am. Even people who think they are being kind are assholes. Telling me that I'm "not like the others" is such an insult to my people. "The others" are my friends and family. They are not "others" they are people to me.

I am sorry you are going through this. Your voice matters and is valid

Edit: Sorry for attaching my venting to yours. Pretty selfish of me now looking back

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Oh gosh I cant even imagine dealing with all the racist little micro aggressions you have to deal with every day. Also don't feel bad for venting, you were just trying to relate, and I'm autistic so I relate in a very similar way. I feel for you too and I'm glad someone understands. ❀

[–] ComatoseSquirrel@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I hate dealing with people enough as a man. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to deal with all the bullshit you are stuck with, having your opinions and experiences dismissed, etc. I hope things improve for you (and all women), but it looks like it'll get worse before it (hopefully) gets better.

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 year ago

I really appreciate your comment more than you know. Just having a guy read what I wrote there and not only recognize it, but believe it and validate it means so, so much.

I'm lucky in that I have some close male friends probably a lot like you who are willing to listen and are actively improving themselves and I am so very thankful for that.

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm a skilled fuckin mason. But I've put my notice in so I'm being given all the shit jobs on my last week. The past three days I've been descaling parts of the wall. What's descaling you ask? Going over the entire wall with a hand brush and a wire brush, knocking off all the loose bits. Meanwhile their star mason is installing stones with ledges so big you could hang a fuckin coffee cup off em, and totally missing mortar on entire stones. Literally just plop em on the wall and keep going. Fuck this place, and fuck Bob specifically.

[–] cantankerousnuts@lemmy.one 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Man Bob sounds like a real piece of work. Good for you, I hope you find a place that can utilize and appreciate (in the form of payment) your talents and commitment to quality of work. Best of luck internet stranger!!

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

Got high hopes for the next place. It's technically a government job, and while I hear it's really dull, I also hear they do exceptional work.

[–] Bobsnoturuncle@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Shitty for them to do that to you. Would it impact your next job or your wallet so much that you can’t just tell them to fuck off and just walk away?

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Next job no, wallet yes. And it's just to the end of the week and I can tell me to shove their heads up each others asses

[–] Karan5chaos@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wish my life wasn't this complicated. Wife left me couple of years back on her own and now she won't divorce me until I pay a heft amount to her. On top of stress and depression, I got diagnosed with multiple health problems including high cholesterol and diabetes. Life sucks for me at this point. I just wish all this gets over soon so I can focus on my health and career more.

[–] limeaide@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

I'm sorry you're going through that. I hope things get better for you soon

[–] kabukimeow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Depression. I am very lonely. I have no plans for the future. Everything feels meaningless, most of all my existence.

[–] minimar@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I FUCKING HATE CAPITALISM THE WORLD IS FUCKING BURNING AND NOBODY GIVES A SHIT

[–] Kyoyeou@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

The world is way too loud, and people don't seem to care about it, blocking the problem with Noise Reduction but not at the source of the problem

[–] gaydarless@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm at a crossroads in life where I need to start making large and impactful decisions about my future. It's a very lonely place to be.

Will my long term relationship last?

Do I want it to?

Will I try to stay in this (IRL) community?

Do I want to?

Will I stay in this career path?

Can I afford not to?

Etc.

Usually I'd talk to my partner about all this, but because our relationship is also part of my issues, I feel like I can't. So as a result... I'm feeling lonely and overwhelmed.

[–] PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My manager is in meetings all the time but has a big ego so they have had no time to view my work but they ABSOLUTELY insist that they know exactly what I’ve done and that it needs to be better.

Bitch all the things he’s complaining about I’ve already done but it’s impossible to get a word in.

[–] toiletwhole@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago

These people make my hair go grey and my telomeres go short.

[–] 6368_39162@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

I utterly despise my supervisor. Seriously, shut the fuck up! These 85 meetings could have all been an email, you don’t listen to the rest of us anyway, and nobody gives shit about your medication schedule. Learn how to manage yourself before inflicting your crap on other people.

[–] ReCursing@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

poolitics <leaving the typo> - just... ugh, all of it!

[–] BiggestBulb@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

I'm sick and tired of working for other people. Having to take PTO to do literally anything you want to do on a weekday is so fucked, and I'm one of the lucky people (who works PST while in EST). Corporate policies and politics truly do run rampant through every company, and I just need to keep working on products until one becomes sustainable long-term.

Feel like that's the key to financial and physical freedom - making the next big thing, then getting it to a solid state and just doing gradual improvements. Don't pull a spez, don't piss people off and don't add too many new features after a while or you'll kill what you have. And for the love of GOD, don't go public.

IPO'ing and going public are what kill companies with great things running for them, simply due to the "keep growing every day until the company inevitably collapses" mindset.

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