this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 39 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Not programming, but the plot of Shin Godzilla was about bureaucratic red tape holding back the actual solutions.

[–] IzzyScissor@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

It's my favorite Godzilla movie because of this aspect. There's a scene where I lost it in the theater when the >!Prime Minister is completely certain in telling the press that Godzilla will absolutely never, not in a million years, not make landfall.. only to have an underling whisper in his ear that Godzilla just made landfall.!<

I worked for a Japanese company at the time, and could recognize that it wasn't even heightened for parody. That's just exactly how it is.

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[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 20 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD DEREGULATE EVERYTHING! INCLUDING FOOD AND DRINKING WATER, AND WE SHOULD ALLOW ALLOW COMAPNIES TO DUMP INTO RIVERS!

I love hollywood

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[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 57 points 2 days ago (5 children)

"I'm going to try to hack the system."

# sudo apt install hollywood

# hollywood

"We're in!"

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[–] Affidavit@lemm.ee 47 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"Quick! Hurry! Scrum! 5 minute stand up team! We need to sort this crisis out NOW!"

"Joe! The building is on fire! Move! RUN!"

"No! We need to have a meeting first! SCRUM! STAND UP! AGILE! SILICON VALLEY!!!1!!!1!! When is the next sprint!?"


Looking for a passionate, motivated team member to be part of a newly refreshed team created to replace an unsuccessful team (RIP) promoting our incredibly competitive product!

  • You must have at least 40 years experience working with Windows 11.
  • GENEROUS remuneration package!*
  • You need to be able to work 26 hours a day 9 days per week.
  • You will need to bring PASSION! ENTHUSIASM! EXCITEMENT! [synonym not found]!, and GRIT!

*as we are a small start up, we can't afford to pay wages, but when we are successful, we promise to write your name somewhere on an archived version of our website.

[–] big_fat_fluffy@leminal.space 13 points 1 day ago (2 children)

All programmers are goth supermodels.

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[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 38 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

When a team of programmers is left to their own devices, they too screw shit up. They all do things in their own way and argue over what is best, and often fail to see the bigger picture.

I watch scope creep and lack of organizational planning from both programmers and managers. It's all personality issues.

I also don't believe anyone actually follows or knows what agile is (not saying I do either). Everyone on every team at every place sure talks about it, but it doesn't seem like anyone actually does it. These are all just labels for "we adapted as we went."

[–] spacecadet@lemm.ee 32 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (7 children)

Found the PM/TPM. The best software was written without Agile and PMs/TPMs. It’s only after software becomes successful that the need is felt for that stuff.

The world runs on open source software and I don’t know of a single open source project that uses Agile or PMs/TPMs.

[–] azertyfun@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

What? I'm not privy to RedHat/IBM/Google's internal processes but they are all massive FOSS contributors at least some of which I assume are using Agile internally. The Linux kernel is mostly corpo-backed nowadays.

The development cycle of FOSS is highly compatible with Agile processes, especially as you tend towards the Linux Kernel style of contributing where every patch is expected to be small and atomic. A scrum team can 100% set as a Sprint Goal "implement and submit patches for XYZ in kernel".

Also agile ≠ scrum. If you're managing a small github project by sorting issues by votes and working on the top result, then congratulations, you're following an ad-hoc agile process.

I think what you're actually mad at is corporate structures. They systematically breed misaligned incentives proportional to the structure's size, and the top-down hierarchy means you can't just fork a project when disagreements lead to dead ends. This will be true whether you're doing waterfall or scrum.

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

They all do things in their own way and argue over what is best, and often fail to see the bigger picture.

It sounds like your programming team is missing a senior engineer/director of engineering. You need an engineer who has the experience to see the big picture, architect solutions, and tell the team what's what.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Click, click, clickity-click, click.

I'm in!

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

The most important part of developing hacking tools is to have a UI that includes text scrolling really quickly with little beep, blip, and bloop noises.

[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Black Mirrors Hated in the Nation makes fun of this briefly iirc

[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They don't know there are 20 other life and death situations that came before them. GET. IN. LINE.

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[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in this Excel spreadsheet on Teams. Be sure to update it regularly…”

15 mins later.

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in Azure DevOps. Be sure to update it regularly…”

15 mins later.

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in Smartsheet. Be sure to update it regularly…”

15 mins later.

Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in ServiceNow Virtual Taskboard. Be sure to update it regularly…”

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[–] ElectroLisa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Not a movie but I feel like Mr Robot had somewhat accurate scenes

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