this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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[–] Deconceptualist@lemm.ee 76 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Let's be honest, what these apps are going to do is boost user engagement (read: waste your fucking time) by pulling you into conversations with AI chatbots. The longer you're there, the more advertisements they can feed you. It's going to be harder and harder to find a real person, because investors don't benefit from that.

[–] boxfulloffoxes@sh.itjust.works 3 points 16 hours ago

They didn't used to, at least many didn't, before Match Group bought them all. Many, such as OkCupid, used to be quite good.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 1 day ago

waste your fucking time

I don't have much fucking time as is, hence the app.

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Yeah, this is weirdly a service I believe should be provided by the goberment. They already promote meets and events, why not encourage couples among the locals

[–] Bob_Robertson_IX@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Actually, this is something that should be an open source non-profit.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm actually amazed no one has made an open source dating app it seems like such an obvious idea. You can even add federation to it so you could choose the interface you liked the best.

[–] Deconceptualist@lemm.ee 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think the problem there is moderation. Who is going to do the work of blocking/banning 1000 creepy messages and dick pics per minute on an open platform?

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I don't really use dating sites but as far as I understand it wouldn't a personal block just solve the problem. I don't think you can message people unless they match with you right so if you unmatch with them they're essentially blocked and they can't contact you again on another account because you would have to match with them on that other account.

[–] Deconceptualist@lemm.ee 2 points 16 hours ago

I'm no expert and I've been out of the game for a while, but as I recall the platforms are all quite different. Maybe it's common now to only allow messages between matches.

But anyway, I was referring more to the trolls and harassers that need to be banned entirely, not just blocked/ignored by individuals. These people will put nasty inappropriate stuff as their profile pics in the first place, and create new accounts just to pester others.

[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It seems like Japan’s government has made such app

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Hope they get it working

[–] singletona@lemmy.world 38 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Unless you're looking for other guys these apps are pretty well useless.

[–] boxfulloffoxes@sh.itjust.works 3 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Trust me, it's not much better for us either. 🤣😭

[–] singletona@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Ooof. Sorry man. i'd just figured with 95% of the userbase being male. It's gotta be a decent spot for gay hookups.

[–] boxfulloffoxes@sh.itjust.works 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Well, me in particular it's the whole gay AND disabled thing. But in broader terms: still lots of scammers to watch out for, lots of flakes (even if you're only looking for a hookup), varies WILDLY by area (mine is mostly tractor riding DL types last time I checked), etc. Not bad, but not super either.

[–] singletona@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

Disabled. Oooof. I know how hard a pack that is to carry.

[–] Nollij@sopuli.xyz 18 points 2 days ago

I mean, the summary did list Grindr...

[–] PrivateNoob@sopuli.xyz 25 points 2 days ago (5 children)

I went on something like 50 dates with people that I found on online dating sites. This was between 2005 and 2007 (when I met my wife via Yahoo Personals.)

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah the OG OKCupid was incredible. Then it was bought out and became another swiping app.

[–] PrivateNoob@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh was OKCupid a non Tinder like app back then? Good to know

[–] mint_tamas@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Yes, they had a system where you answered questions about a wide range of topics, and answered what the ideal mate should say, then give a weight to how important that is for you. For example, you prefer chocolate over vanilla, and you want your mate to be the same, but it’s not an important factor. On the other hand, you prefer not to be a nazi, and it’s super important your mate isn’t one either. Also, there were IQ questions which allowed filtering out the stupid ones (like is the sun or the earth larger). Then the system would recommend profiles based on a match score computed from your answers. Really great. Got two relationships out of it, one is going 10 years today.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 23 hours ago

Adding onto this, it was totally free and you could just endlessly scroll through profiles, read them, look at their answers to questions, etc. No need to say "yes" or "no" to each profile judt to see the next one. And if you answered all of the personality questions (there were hundreds if not thousands) you were invited to become a site mod, which I did.

[–] misk@sopuli.xyz 31 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yeah. When they had to fight for their user base. Even Tinder was reasonably usable couple of years ago. It paired me with my current partner which must be considered a marvel of technology.

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes, but by pairing you, it lost 2 users! That's counterintuitive to capitalism.

So if the AI works for the users, it will bring down the app.

If the AI works for the investors, people will get bad pairings and it will bring down the app.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hey, it's not "bad pairings", it's just a very good pairing (with fake AI profile) that "unfortunately" could never have a conversation outside the app

Neuralink ftw lol.

[–] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I had a modicum of success on OKC. In 2013.

[–] foggenbooty@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

That was because OKC had long form quizzes and in depth bios. It has been Tinderized and is no longer recognizable.

[–] poo@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ditto - a date from OKC in 2012 led to my current marriage

[–] TammyTobacco@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] poo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

And probably not my twentieth

[–] psyspoop@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I met my fiancée on a dating app circa 2014

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And how much do you use dating apps now?

[–] psyspoop@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Considering I have a fiancée, never.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And that’s the point. When it works, they lose 2 customers forever.

It’s a filtering process that removes all the diamonds in the rough. All that’s left is the rough.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I mean that's definitely true and all, but wouldn't they also get a continuous fresh supply of single people (coming of age, breakups). Don't get me wrong I totally get they want that and to keep the users hooked as well, because they're greedy piggys, but still I don't know if the business model is doomed if they don't.

The issue is if those new singles enter the rough zone (full of people who have not had much success) they’re going to have a very bad experience. Probably the best experience is for then to pair off against other new singles and depart. Some will end up doing that but others will end up stuck in the mud like everyone else.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Is your new AI gay?

We have the first Gay AI app in existence and we need you!

You'll be able to communicate to other gay AIs in your IP range neighborhood this Wednesday! For free! Between 5pm and 5:05pm, when the moon is directly overhead.