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It's nice to be back (even if I had to make a new account), but I think I still need to take a break from online communication.

Have had too many toxic encounters lately, so probably need to chill.

At least I'm not back on fucking reddit anymore. The only reason I made another account there about a year ago was for NSFW stuff (but even those subs still haven't totally recovered from the API event), yet I still ended up being an idiot and going into /r/popular out of boredom. Lack of third party filtering made it Hell. Muting subs isn't enough when you're trying to avoid entire topics.

Don't really know why I deleted my old account here. I think I was just going through some shit and deleted all my accounts and related apps.

The weird thing about federation is that I can see my old posts and comments on my old account here from Fedia (joined there as well because I was curious about mbin), but they've disappeared in this instance. To be honest, that's something I really don't like. If someone wants to delete their stuff en masse (account, all posts and comments, etc.), it's still cached on another instance unless they manually delete every post/comment one by one. Not exactly the best for privacy.

Anyway, whatever. This was an unnecessarily long comment, apologies. Life's weird. I'm tired. Nothing new, I guess.

It's the fourth anniversary of my dad's death. I think this one's been the easiest so far. There are moments here and there when it really hurts. I feel pretty drained but also weirdly at peace. I drove up to a mountain peak earlier. It was nice to listen to some of his favorite music on the way and feel the cold air on my face when I got there.

Not great. I'm really lethargic lately. I don't think I've done one thing for leisure, it's all just cook/gym/work/sleep. Any second I'm not doing what's necessary to maintain my body or my paycheck, I'm out cold.

My therapist had an emergency so we've had to delay the session by quite a bit. I have some social engagements coming up and I wanted to talk with her before canceling them. I think I'll just do it, I don't think I feel like meeting people.

Hope y'all feel better soon!

Had a lovely anxiety spell take over me the past couple of days, but I'm working on solving the issues that are causing said anxieties, bit by bit. At least the weekend will start, though my internship now seeps into my weekends... Don't look forward to Saturdays as much as I used to. But Sunday, I'll be hanging out with a friend. And then I'll be hanging out with someone I really like. ⌯’▾’⌯ Trying to be optimistic and get work done so that the anxiety lessens.

Moderate. I’m angry with the U.S., but music and rhythm games help my mood.

I had a thought that if enough people coordinated to play a particular music or chant at a certain time, you would hear it for miles, much like people did with clapping for medical workers during the heights of lockdown. I think it’d be a powerful message if enough people joined in.

Individual acts of kindness are keeping me going through the late Weimar. I'm writing this from the garage of a friend who offered to let me stay with him while we deal with "not going to get above freezing for a few days."

For a bit I thought my new prescription of lexapro was going to carry me through this year but the week of feeling joyful has leveled out and I am just as grumpy and annoyed as before. Just less sad. I want the joy part, though.

Got like 3 feet of snow in 3 or 4 days, I stayed at home, good :)

Little high, little low. I'm adjusting to online discussions after not being part of them for quite a while. Had some fun conversations with my partner and I am writing again, which is great. Job hunting is such a drag though. Simply inhuman.

Hello and hope you feel better Alyaza!

• Spent the weekend playing TTRPGs and honestly, I'm learning to cherish these moments because it's kind of awesome that I've got 2 separate games going on that's able to fit in my schedule and energy levels.

• Watch the premiere of Last Week Tonight with John oliver and it's such a breath of fresh air after watching Jon Stewart. It's my first time watching Jon Stewart this past year and I don't understand the hype around him. I guess he's funnier than Oliver but that's about it.

• Started playing Pillars of Eternity on Xbox Gamepass. I'm not super far in, so I'm hoping that the real-time with pause combat starts clicking with me sooner rather than later.

Been sick since Thursday. Finally on the mend I think and I'm exhausted, hot, and mucusy.

Hopefully your family gets well soon, it really blows when you're the only healthy in a household.

So far so good, I'm finishing a photo project I started last week and the band that commissioned me is so far happy as hell with the images they're getting. They're even going to be giving me a shirt and a copy of their album when it releases.

I can't share the images until they get the ones they're happy with but I'll definitely share those over on my PixelFed when I'm done with them.

I've also got it down to just Lightroom holding me on Windows, I'm planning to learn some of the open source alternatives once I'm done with this project as not only has Windows over stayed it's welcome so has the Adobe suite. My plan is to leave Windows (ideally) before the end of March.

Hello! I'm sorry for your family and I hope they all recover quickly. I've been spending my days working and slowly getting better at managing my own stress levels; therapy was a godsend for me and my therapist is an angel.