I did the same bc of depression (but with the youth organisation bc you cant really join the party if youre under 30 here). I dont think anyone will think negative of this dont worry
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I'm sorry to hear that, mate. Hope you feel better soon! I know no one will think any negative of this, but it isn't really about other people: it's about me. I know how much work we have to do, especially with the recent split and the elections coming up next year (it's going to be a real shitshow, with a high likelyhood of the far-right winning again). I wanted to be a part of making our party an hegemonic force in the left-wing like we were in the first half of the 20th century. And, well, I know the party won't be going anywhere in two years, but still.
Comrade, I went through something similar, being Brazilian and all. UJC too.
I took time to invest on myself. I needed to get better, both economically, mentally, academically, you name it. Taking time is not a problem, specially when life happens (or seems to be stuck).
I have some gripes on the Party and their Youth, so I don't believe I'd go back, but I'm not abandoning Marxism-Leninism in any way, shape or form.
Oh, I definitely have some gripes with the party. Just because we split from PCB doesn't mean every problem in the old party has been overcome. But, to me, that's all the more reason to stay: I believe we need to build a Marxist-Leninist party that is recognized as a dominant force within the left-wing. This requires that we are ruthless in our self-criticism in order to refine our organizational methods. I want to be a part in this, because I honestly believe that, in time, we'll get there. But I know I'm not in a place where I can devote myself to this, not without making personal sacrifices I'm not willing to make. Still, feels bad.
There's nothing wrong with taking a couple years to focus on yourself
You said it. If you're not okay, your output is not gonna be the best either, be it political, creative, or otherwise. Self-actualization is important, so if activism doesn't cover it alone, it only makes sense to balance it out with other pursuits. And after all, revolutionary movies also need screenwriters.