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You’re depressed and need medical attention. You can’t will yourself or out of this anymore than you can will yourself out of pneumonia. It’s an illness and needs treatment.
You can’t see the way out because it’s happening to you. Depression lies and obscures reality. You need someone else to show you the way.
There is something you can do. You can seek help. Are you willing to do that?
Yes, I can seek help for myself and my well-being. I think that after I receive financial aid from the government because of my disabilities, I will return to talk therapy, specifically continuous chat therapy that is holistic, with my favorite clinical psychologist.
Wonderful! Until then, go for walks as much as you can. Getting outside and feeling busy can help.
hi, I'd like to help with how you are feeling. may I ask for you to elaborate on those statements? 🙂
Depression is a fucking bitch. It makes you feel like doing anything, no matter what, is futile, so you don't. And then depression uses that inaction to legitimize itself and go "See? I told you so". No, motherfucker, you lied to me and you still do. Depression lies its fucking ass off daily. And it's goddamn hard to identify every single lie and refute it, but you must remember they are lies.
Yes, it sucks, and I'm busy not dying myself right now. I'm going to counseling, telling the truth to everyone, lying still and staring at the ceiling a lot, and it's still difficult.
Keep fucking going. Because I've been here before, and it got better before. I expect it will get better again: for me, AND FOR YOU.
Stay away from mood modifiers, they don't help they hurt. No pot, no booze, no sugar, even cigarettes/vapes aren't the best. Eat more meat if you can. Drink water, not sugary or diet stuff.
I know it sounds like a lot, but fuck, if you're ready to throw it all away anyway, give something else a chance first. Just keep going.
I really care that you stay with us. Don't go.
Dial 988 - Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Crisis Text Line - text HOME to 741741
Hi. I think I'm okay now after having breakfast and some coffee, and I went to my parents' small house, although they are busy. Of course, I'll seek help and go back to my clinical psychologist if I receive the financial aid from my government.
My thought is, I want too see how many GTAs I can live through. I made 6 so far, let's see how long I make it!!!
Join me!
Sometimes it’s not about things to look forward to. Sometimes…you need to outlive your enemies out of spite.
In all seriousness, life isn’t meant to be a happy pleasant ordeal. It’s a sandbox world on challenge mode but some people start with cheat codes. That’s how life is.
Play your own game and find what brings you joy. Ride the waves and you can experience the whole spectrum life has to offer.
Even though you feel like that, it hasn’t ended. I’m glad it hasn’t, so that we can have this conversation.
I’ve felt things like what you’ve described feeling. It’s suffocating when you not only aren’t happy, you can’t see any prospect of happiness in your future.
The thing is, the voice telling you there’s no hope is wrong. And eventually something will come along and shine a glaring light on that fiction, and you’ll realize that there was hope, you just couldn’t see it for a while.
But don’t worry about that. It will arrive. You just have to stay alive long enough for it to reach you. So stay alive today.
Tomorrow when you wake up, decide to stay alive just for the day. That’s all you need to focus on for now.
Please call someone, even a crisis hotline if needed, before taking any actions you can’t undo.
And please reply tomorrow and let me know how you’re doing.
Hi. I think I'm okay now after having breakfast and some coffee, and I went to my parents' small house, although they are busy. Of course, I'll seek help and go back to my clinical psychologist if I receive the financial aid from my government.
That is good to hear. Next time you are feeling really down, remember this moment. Remember how after a while you felt better. Not great, but better. Remember, and internalize that. And then when you feel really low again, you can at least remember back when felt like crap but you KNEW it would get better. Not great, but it always gets better eventually. And then after a while you start to believe it, even if you think you're fooling yourself a little. And after more time you realize, it's actually true.
That thought process got me through some very dark times. I hope it is somewhat helpful to you.
I had a similar outlook before, and after not too long I got help from a therapist, and I sincerely hope you do too. I'm not going to pretend or tell you I know what you're going through, only you know that, but I, much like everyone here, can most certainly listen, if nothing else. I may not have advice on anything, but I'll still listen.
How did your therapist help you?
Just waiting to see what ASI will do.
Do something heroic? Plenty of things that need "fixing"..