this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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[–] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I am told that they grow from nuts.

[–] NutinButNet@hilariouschaos.com 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What kind of nuts are we talking about? Walnut, chestnut, peanut?

[–] MyNamesTotallyRobert@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I asked my pastor this one time when I was a kid. He said that babies come from the devil's butthole. When Satan eats too many hotdogs, he farts out demons that fly into women who sin against God and impregnate them with the spawn of evil. These children are cursed at birth to live a life of crime and destruction. They grow up to be gays, marijuana users and communists. Any woman who gives birth to Satan's hellspawn deserves to be burned at the stake for her lack of morals. This is why as Christians we must respect the sanctity of life by avoiding sex outside of marriage.

I was like 9 at the time. Years later he went to prison for kidnapping and diddling kids in his basement.