I'm building a boat to go find the Niña, Pinta and Santa Maria to sink them real good. Then nuke China and Ruzzia at their palaces. Same to every "kingdom". That's what they all deserve. Complete erasure from history. Instead people would just know that there used to be an asshole who wanted everyone to work and give him all the money.
this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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Do my best to warn the locals of the coming invasion. Learn their language and teach them English and tell them not to trust any group of strangers who speak it.
Help improve their technology as best I can. I’m not sure how much I’d be able to improve it. At least, teach them to wear masks and wash their hands when around sick people.
You're a stranger speaking English trying to convince the locals not to trust any stranger speaking English?
Yes. I’d have to learn their language first, anyway. I already know bits of modern versions but not much. Then, introduce the warning of invasions and teach them English with the caution that people speaking groups of people speaking will bring death and destruction.
It’s not like they’ll already have a fear of English or any concept of the language before I teach it to them.
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I don't think our English is anywhere close to Olde English though, we might be hardly able to understand them ourselves, and I don't think they would understand us at all.
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I don't have the knowledge to survive in the 12 century so either some Native Americans find me and are kind enough to teach me to survive
Or I just die.
I'm in Japan and while I can speak modern Japanese I don't know shit about classical Japanese so I'd be screwed. I'm also not Japanese so good chance I end up getting killed or some shit
The Ring of Fire series which is about this concept was such an amazing read. Unfortunately the infinite branching plotlines became way more than I could handle.
I'd cry, curse god's name even more than I do currently, and then probably die from boredom.
1375? Bro that's the. Middle ages. Fucking kill me.
Prophecy some major upcoming events, subsequently market myself as a saint, grab a comfy church position, sell indulgences, profit. Works in pretty much any era.
Prophecy some major upcoming events, subsequently market myself as a saint, grab a comfy church position
Or be burned on a stake.
How well do you know 14th century minutia? That can end up being a very long con if the next thing you remember is like the general lines of Joan of Arc's whole deal in 50 years or whatever.
Nah, just say the plague will ravage the land, war will last for another seventy years, and you're the only hope of salvation - that pretty much sums up the late 1300s. Then just get your followers off the battle lines, adopt a bunch of cats to keep the rat problem at bay, and practice basic sanitation and isolation - what we learned during COVID.
Within a couple of years, yours will be the only thriving community. Play your cards right, stay peaceful, prosperous, and show deference to the church and you'll be pretty much set. Might even wrangle a sainthood if you play your cards right.
/s to all this of course... most likely I'd just use my extensive knowledge of porn and poetry to try and charm a noblewoman to take care of me.
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I become a scribe or accountant, since I can write cursive, do math, and know some Latin.
There was a monastery within walking distance of my home at that time, so that's where I'd head first.
Basically start digging my grave, wondering if I'm gonna die from my asthma or my dermatitis first in that era. I'm betting on my asthma.
Try to use some type of boiling water technique to invent drinkable sanitary drinking water that doesn't get me drunk (might not be necessary in some parts of Asia)
Most parts of the world that is not North America: try to convince some wealthy persons and bar owners to sponsor me to getting a bunch of bread molds and rats/mice, possibly even pigs, to conduct antibiotics and vaccine research, otherwise I might die from random sources...
Not sure if I could reasonably do those given my limited biology knowledge, but I guess they are worth trying. Besides that I'd just try to be less blunt/offensive so I don't get sent to jail and try to live my best life I guess
You’d have to work pretty hard to get drunk on small beer.
Slowly and with plenty of witnesses invent the toilet. But like out of wood pieces like a barrel or ship. Rain barrel on the roof for water. Start suggesting more contained sewage.
Should be just enough to not get dead for heresy or something but live comfortably and help a shitty situation.
Human urine was collected and used for many things (mostly the ammonia). Human feces was used as fertilizer in a lot of the world until very recent times and collected in certain areas.
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Assuming I appear naked in a field in England in 1375, I would first try to, in no particular order (at first, then a particular order)
- find cloth to cover my face and hands so I don't transmit or catch any diseases
- distill water so I can drink it without getting diseases
- use yams or horse urine to create HRT
- communicate with the locals and seek a local blacksmith to create a metal tube with metal balls inside it, and mix charcoal, potash, and sulfur to make a primitive gun to defend myself against the people who think I'm a witch or a demon or whatever
- talk to the women and encourage them to rise up against the system and patriarchy, teach them how to make weapons, about 4 field crop rotation if they don't already know it, otherwise about automated steam engines, weavers, hydroelectric dams, etc
- march up to the feudal lord and demand democracy, with the fear of the gun and half the population behind me they will agree
- teach about the scientific method to get them to question things, do their own research, and learn more
- there will be scientific labs, primitive computers can be developed, we can spread our advanced culture to the rest of Afro-Eurasia, also prevent slavery
- warn people about going to America and Australia unprepared, go with them in modern ships and don't spread disease, talk to the locals and trade with them and learn from them, don't kill them or replace them. Teach them the tech advancements too
- Write down lots of things, invent the printing press if not already invented, document human knowledge and encourage more documentation by others
This is all if I have any measure of success at the first things and don't die or kill myself
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Probably die of gangrene after stubbing my toe or something else stupid. Prior to modern medicine, diseases and things we think of as mild were often deadly.