this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2025
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I love this space and I keep wanting to share photos of outfits I have put together, but I don't know how to do that in a way that protects my privacy ... It seems like a lot of effort to use software to edit the photos to make them safe to share, for example.

I was wanting to check with the community and see how women solve this problem generally, and maybe brainstorm a list of ideas of ways to safely share selfies / photos, here were some ideas I had:

  • take photos with neutral backgrounds that don't disclose private information (e.g. location)
  • use something like an emoji to cover up face
  • find a way to share the photo in a password protected way (with what service?), and only distribute the password to users you trust (unclear on the logistics here)
  • share the photo with an expiration feature, e.g. allowing only a certain number of times to view it (Signal has a feature like this) or that expires after some amount of time

Was wondering how you all find online spaces for women where it's safe to share outfits.

I know on Reddit, some of the subreddits for finding a good bra make every post a spoiler, making it harder for prurient men to easily browse and preview photos, etc.

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[โ€“] whysteria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

catbox has "litterbox" where you can set time limits per image up to 3 days :)

I also had the same concerns. I've considered a seperate photo sharing account for if I ever wanna show face and/or body (as in outfits)

I recall hearing about a lolita fashion discord that kind of requires being active and having co-ords to share to join, I never checked it out tho. Maybe matrix would be a good avenue for having a safe space to share outfits/photos? I haven't tried matrix at all yet either lol

[โ€“] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 5 hours ago

I'm on Matrix, but I don't use it much. For a client, I'm using Element and it doesn't have any obvious features that allow you to expire or restrict an image, etc.

I wouldn't want to share my photos on Discord, esp. because you can't feel safe knowing invites won't become public later or that it won't end up becoming shared publicly later.

But yeah, hard to find a way to share photos that I feel good about ๐Ÿ˜ž

[โ€“] Okokimup@lemmy.world 8 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

I am literally about to post an introduction to Indyx. They used to have a slack community open to all users where we could share selfie and tips and such. It's only for paid members now (which i am not). I can still create an outfit in the app to share without me being in the photo.

Otherwise, I have considered sharing photos with emojis over the faces.

Edit: link to post

[โ€“] Okokimup@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago

My phone lets me add stickers.

[โ€“] JustOneMoreCat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

These things have been on my mind recently too, about public photos in general. I recently learned that you can scrub metadata from photos by messaging them to yourself on Signal first, so I've started doing that for photos I share online. Otherwise I just try to avoid identifying information and ask myself if I really want this to be public for eternity.

Also make sure if you don't want to be identified, you're posting through an account that you use to remain anonymous. So don't reuse your username, have your personal email connected to the account, etc. Or post things that could be tied to you / your location using the same account.

[โ€“] TacoButtPlug@sh.itjust.works 2 points 13 hours ago

Oooo good tip

[โ€“] PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Iโ€™d be happy to make up a little tool / bot that can be used for posting stuff privately this way. Automatically remove the metadata from an uploaded image, and then host it, having options for:

  • Emoji obscure the face
  • Require Anubis verification before it will serve the image
  • Delete after a certain length of time
  • Post to Lemmy anonymously

Something like that. I am male so maybe it is creepy for me to offer to host the thing, but if someone else wants to volunteer for that part (you can self host or do one of those $10/mo VPS things), the software to do that would be super easy to create.

[โ€“] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 2 points 13 hours ago

Philip that's so kind of you thanks so much! Would you mind taking it to DMs? We're a women's only community so don't allow male comments

[โ€“] 211@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There's already ObscuraCam meant for AI detecting and pixelating/redacting/eyeglasses-and-mustache-afying faces, and scrubbing metadata. Unfortunately it no longer works as a camera (at least for me), and options for other emojis would be great. But if you could contribute to that (been abandoned for a few years though still listed on Guardian Project's page), it could be useful for mass photos too.

https://guardianproject.info/apps/org.witness.sscphase1/

[โ€“] PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat 3 points 21 hours ago

Hm, that is a good idea. I was thinking more on the server side. I think the big issue is how you can trust the person who packaged the app, the person who runs the server, and so on... the economy of how we decide who gets to make up the code that gets to run our stuff and what their incentives are, and how much control and transparency we have into it, is basically just fucked.