Asklemmy

you fight water

Commit crimes but it’s a speedrun.

Edit: no one has it yet

A rustic family's lives are torn apart by the rise of capitalism driven by the boredom of an immortal.

Thalassophobia generator (and drowning simulator).

Participate in dream therapy and fall asleep and follow a doctor's voice as you have your mind broken over and over by optical illusions until you wake up and then cry irl at the ending speech.

You're an outlaw who steals the pets of other people and must recruit them to stop a corrupt mayor and his army of evil Power Rangers from setting up animal abuse factories.

An endless conveyor belt of new recruits get lasered in the face, squeezed by snakes, shocked by electric batons, and mind controlled while trying to save their home from the ayylmaos.

They also frequently have Sears photoshoots taken of their squads to plaster around the game as propaganda.

(answer: click my profile and see the only community I mod. Then join us!)

Big chickens, big cats, big squirrels, big whatever the fuck that thing is. Better kill or capture them using my big sword.

Let me sleep for centuries while pure evil kills everyone.

You kinda play with reincarnations of Adam and Eve but original Eve was kind of Adam's mom. Current Adam has a lot of trauma he tries to shut away with different personalities but then the ghost of his previous incarnation takes over his father's body to try to push the traumatized personality out. Eventually you discover a kid on a lab who comes to life in your presence and she tells you it was an even older incarnation of Adam who created her artificially based on Eve because nobody could have natural kids anymore at that time but that didn't really wipe humans out either. And all through the game some sort of AI with the personality of some very old folks had been spying on you through your save files. In the end current Adam and Eve fall out of the sky naked but inside a giant robot, with all your friends watching you from a distance because they can't fly since your actions made every other giant robot stop working, except for yours.

Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out

Not the 3rd or 4th time you were a prisoner, but the 2nd.

Some dude slaughters tons of animals and robs historical buildings in order to kill a lizard.

Spikey hair man, a stuffed animal friend, a meow meow best animal friend, a cigarette smoking space uncle, black gun arm man, big boobie bestie, christian pink girl, thieving ninja girl, and emo vampire-esque goth daddy re-enact Armageddon and also fight long white hair man with mommy issues. Also a dirty old man with floating crystals, no legs, and the ability to fly gives you advice.

You touch something you shouldn't have, then nobody would ever believe what you've seen, but you keep trying to convince every species in the galaxy.

You and a girl are having fun at the fair until a portal opens. You enter the portal for everyone to claim your girl is a queen.

Jumping around obstacles and running away from gunshots, but you'll spend most of the time falling to your death.

Fight for scraps and die. Die 5 more times from getting beat with a rock. Fight for more scraps and get small base. Lose all scrap in base from asshole clan. Beat head against wall in frustration. Oh and die some more and do it all again tomorrow.

It makes you think about sucking your own dick.

You are a crawling microchip that possesses animals with cool abilities

Go sailing to build your magical fork collection.

You know all those books and literary analysis you had to do in Englidh class that you hated? Yeah what if we made a game about those guys? Oh and don't worry, we got guys from all over the globe, so we're going to make you relive that pain regardless if you're from Spain or Korea. Oh you liked that part of class? Good news! We made Rodion Raskinolov an anime waifu!

Alternatively: solving a centuries long race war in the only way we know how - with 13 year olds and 90's themed warfare! It's not a child soldier if the military doesn't know about it! We swear this is deadly serious we gave the kid a FN P90

Cyka B blyat!