this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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Hexbear Proposals chapo.chat matrix room.

This will be a place for site proposals and discussion before implementation on the site.
Every proposal will also be mirrored into a pinned post on the hexbear community.

Any other ideas for helping to integrate the two spaces are welcome to be commented here or messaged to me directly.

Within Hexbear Proposals you can see the history of all site proposals and react to them, indicating a vote for or against a proposal.

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All top level messages within the channel must be a Proposals (idea for changing the site), Feedback (regarding non-technical aspects of the site, for technical please use https://hexbear.net/c/feedback), or Appeals (regarding admin/moderator actions).

Discussion regarding these will be within nested threads under the post.

To gain matrix verification, all you need to do is navigate to my hexbear userprofile and click the send a secure private message including your hexbear username.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Hello users of hexbear:

Due to recent meta posts in our mutual aid community we wanted to open up discussion about the community !mutual_aid@hexbear.net

We will never require explanation or justification from a user asking for aid in the community, and the mod and admin team continue to commit to not featuring an individual's mutual aid request to prevent unfair exposure.

In addition, we will maintain a strict "No critical comments or meta comments" on a mutual aid post.

This post is to discuss the mutual aid community's rule of allowing meta posts: mutual aid as a community, those making posts in it and those commenting on posts.

We are considering removing the exception allowing meta posts but wanted to involve the userbase before committing to a change.

Please comment with any thoughts, feelings, or suggestions regarding this change.

Thank you

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[–] tocopherol@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago

It's always the nature of giving money that the funds could be misused, especially when anonymous. I can't think of way to improve that risk without putting in some sort of hoops to jump through or a verification process, but that is burdonesome for people that need help and people don't want to risk doxxing. The verification that money was given and received through reports sounds like an improvement possibly. It would be good if it could be more for proper mutual aid, like sharing goods directly or organizing food give-outs but people would have to trust each other more or risk doxxing again. A name change could be suitable.

If someone has verifiable information that a poster is scamming or whatever, they can take that to the mods directly, but I agree with the idea that meta posts cause more drama. As well the maximum request amount seems like a hinderance as some emergencies can be quite expensive, and it's not like a high request forces people to give more, people with the means can donate what they decide.

[–] Biddles@hexbear.net 37 points 2 days ago (2 children)

In case this feedback is relevant, the comm has been abused by certain members spamming posts multiple times per day every day, so I blocked it 🤷

[–] Boynomoder@hexbear.net 29 points 2 days ago

Is that an abuse? or just a consequence of the format making it so posts get easily drowned out?

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 25 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I don't think those desperate to have basic needs met is on the same level as having to scroll past posts if this is supposedly a space inhabited by leftists that care about marginalized people. As someone who's experienced homelessness I can understand not wanting to get to that point because it becomes exponentially harder to leave it once you're there.

[–] allthetimesivedied@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago (56 children)

Yeah. When I post multiple times a day, it’s because I really need help and nobody is…helping me.

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I like how, no matter how many times I say that I didn’t blow all that money on drugs, that I don’t spend all the money I receive on drugs, this shit just persists and persists.

Nobody was honest with me when I posted threads asking if everything was alright, because it seemed like something was up.

[–] Arahnya@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago

I think it is important to center people who use it; their opinions to me are more relevant in this situation than my own.

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 23 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Posts similar to the one that prob. initiated this discussion shouldn't be allowed on that comm. Such claims can't really be verified either way and just lead to drama.

And more of an observation: Use of the comm was pretty rare for a long time, but it's increased dramatically as time has gone on. I think hexbears with both the desire and means to donate was always a pretty small group due to the site's similarly small size, and said group's limited funds are increasingly stretched across both more requests and the rising cost of living in general, leading to a higher chance of some requests going partially or wholly unfulfilled. I suppose I'm saying this to let those seeking help know that, if that happens to them, it's not necessarily a lack of caring, there's just unfortunately only so much money to to go around and they had unlucky timing. It's no one's fault, just a reality of capitalism sadly.

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

If someone wants to donate and not publicize on their account, they could report the post with a message saying "I've DMd this user", which goes right to the mods and admins, who could create a comment on their behalf "A user has sent you a DM". Just something that came to mind just now. Obviously, that puts mods in the loop, which is more work, so take that into account. This obviously works best on the web interface, some apps have canned report options, not sure if all of them have a freeform box to enter text into.

[–] trinicorn@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

could be automated with a bot. better than having individual mods in the loop IMO

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Some tasks sound easy to automate but not always, better to prove the system is useful first with mods in the loop, and if the volume becomes a burden automation can be investigated.

[–] trinicorn@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

my concern is more of privacy than volume, but its true that it could easily be wasted effort

[–] mendiCAN@hexbear.net 22 points 1 day ago (2 children)

i think i know about the post you're referring to and while i don't know about the veracity of that user's claims (i didn't really engage with that post) my initial thought on it is that those types of claims should be sent directly to the mod team rather than to the community, because of the potential of abuse.

no matter the circumstances of need i would like to believe that everyone who is asking for help is because they need help, and don't want to judge, nor do i feel like anyone is in a position to judge the worthiness of people to receive aid.

if there is a problem with "scammin" well ... then that's a big issue, but not one that should be hashed out in the forum because it could quickly get messy and just feels very against what the community stands for.

thanks fer askin, that's my .02

[–] CARCOSA@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Having accusations directly sent to the mod team shifts responsibility from the user wanting to donate to the moderator team, which at this point violates the spirit of the community in so far as we as a mod try not to influence individual fundraising efforts.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 26 points 1 day ago

So I have a question regarding that: there were some semi-regular posts in the MA Comm a few months ago, I won’t say which specifically, but they highly resembled certain scams I’ve seen online. At the time I kept mum, but I am curious if “I think this might be a scam” messages to the mods are treated differently than “This post has X, Y, and Z, which is documented at such-and-such as being associated with scammers” messages. Or if the mods are 100% agnostic on that front (no pun intended).

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[–] kristina@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

The scamming bit is also difficult to sus out due to the nature of the forum. Most people find taking donations to be demeaning and stressful, scammers are a minority. The only way a donator could assuage their concerns is by talking with the person that needs help about the situation, really.

If only we didnt have capitalism, itd be much easier for the state to help people.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Trying to determine who is scamming would also mean defining what constitutes a scam or not. Which for certain obvious definitions like okay sure but trying to draw a distinction where it's less clear is just means testing. Trying to clearly define a line of who is allowed to ask for help and who isn't is neoliberalism of the highest order

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 28 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Everyone trying to help out should set their own personal limits. For example, I spend my allotment of donation money on our trans homeless housing projects so I can't give much money here. I am able to help people get housing directly from here, and I have done that a couple of times, so I do try to keep an eye on things.

And yeah, means testing as a policy is terrible. Imagine needing help, dealing with the stress of needing to take donations, and just getting shunted to an off-channel because you weren't deemed worthy. So many charity operations work on this premise, I've experienced it myself when I was younger and needed help. Setting your own limits makes it your problem, not an organizational problem, and not a problem for the person asking for help. I also doubt the usefulness of means testing in a charity, I think scammers can be very conniving and all you're doing is hurting normal people by becoming too restrictive.

Scammers of course try to ruin it for everyone. In my real world experience dealing with charities and homeless issues, we've even seen certain people violently silence others that need help in order to cut in front of lines by flashing guns or knives. These are all issues relating to the scarcity of help, unfortunately, and they cannot be realistically solved in the current system.

Housing centric aid imo is the most important and direct form of aid, in my time helping people out irl, I've seen so much money go straight to a landlord's pocket when many of the donors had extra rooms to directly house someone and for much cheaper. Some of these donors have literally never had it cross their mind that they should help house homeless people directly, such is the state of mutual aid related education in this country. Scammers are also few and far between, scammers are selfish and are very unlikely to accept housing in a group-living situation, so it is a self-filtering process. Landlords are genuinely the most evil people in society, imagine encouraging someone with cancer to do a gofundme so they can directly pay you cash at a price that isn't even the base cost of operation for the apartment! I have seen this happen, and people applauded the landlord for not kicking the person with cancer out!

At this point I'm just rambling and going off topic, I've been wanting to do a writeup about housing aid networks for a long time but I've been very busy lately.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago

Basically all of this yes

[–] OldSoulHippie@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Personally, I look at post histories and whether or not they engage in the community at large or if it's all just mutual aid posts. I know that's not necessarily fair maybe but it's how I feel. The mutual aspect implies they do what they can to help others or engage in the community with meaningful posts and discussions.

It's not a pass/fail thing, it just feels like a window into the type of person asking for help and what they are likely to spend the money on.

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[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago

i think maybe it would help if people knew when donation goals were being met. like if we had a basic verification system that kind of worked on the honor system it might help. something like this:

user posts request with amount,
donator comments something like "DM Sent",
user updates after amount is received

i can think of a few issues so far:

  1. some people lurk/donate without posting
  2. there may be opsec issues we could fix by encouraging donator alts
  3. it may deincentivize people from donating to those who aren't using the system

i'd like some input on how to fix the issues because i do think we can fix the transparency issues and make people more confident donating

[–] OldSoulHippie@hexbear.net 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Is there a way we could sticky a thread for meta discussion of mutual aid posts so at least they're all contained? I know users including myself have had feelings about the comm and there really isn't a good way to express them as it stands. Completely not allowing criticism (good or bad) is why a lot of us left other social media platforms and I'd hate for this place to get that way. I'm also not "online" enough to know if there already is a mechanism in place for what I'm talking about. If there is, maybe it should be more apparent to people like me who have a more luddite approach to the Internet.

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[–] Chana@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I think regular education about mutual aid would be helpful. For example, while anonymity does mean capacity for harm and then reacting meta posts, look at what happens when donating to, e.g., charities: you end up mostly paying for PMC paychecks and tax breaks for corpos. Edit: maybe adding an explainer comment pinned in every mutual aid post would be a good way to implement this.

I do think that having a vouching system is the best way and my understanding is that this is basically the status quo to some extent. You may want to define some kind of unvouching process in cases where there are verifiable issues. I think this will actually increase trust and donations if communication and messaging are on-point.

So re: meta posts, I think there needs to be more process, not just allowing meta posts and comments. This requires more mod intervention, so I'm sorry to be basically volunteering others' time, but I do think it will be beneficial to have meta posts go through a filter and deliberative process and with clear results and strategic messaging. The alternative, i.e. status quo, is likely to be ad hoc discouragement. The coupling of "this is why you should keep helping our comrades" to any meta posts is very important.

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