AskTransgender
A place to ask transgender people questions and get answers about the trans experience.
Rules:
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Respect other people's identities
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No Fetishizing Trans people
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No Gatekeeping about not being "trans enough"
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No Inciting Drama
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No personal Agendas
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Posts should encourage discussion
The strict gender binary is an arbitrary assignation of stereotypical behaviors loosely based on statistical averages. That is to say, its made up nonsense.
So yes, you should believe the evidence of your own senses before the opinions of people who are still trapped inside that unhelpful and counterfactual social construct.
The term you're using isn't a thing because it's co-opting intersex identity, with a term that is often perceived as a slur by intersex folk. However penile preserving vaginogplasties are absolutely a thing. They're not terribly common, but there are surgeons that offer it
Should I change the title to "trans-intersex"?
No, because surgery doesn't make you intersex. What you're describing is a form of gender diversity, not an intersex condition.
In any case, don't get too hung up on the label. What you're describing here is a form of gender diversity and expression that doesn't fit within the neat binary system the world forces on us, and as a result, the language is imperfect, and ever changing.
What you should be focusing on is the fact that what you're describing isn't this weird strange thing unique to you, but something that folk before you have also experienced
Whenever this comes up on ~~Reddit~~, people get pointed to the salmacian
community, but that's not a term I've heard anywhere else. Might be a slur, so be careful, but it might help you find people with similar desires if that's what you want.
I don't know about what people may deem offensive, but when I've made friends with people with identities similar to this, the terms Aphrodisian or Salmacian have been the main ones ive seen used for self identifying.
I've just been calling myself nonbinary
, 'cuz it's close enough, but salmacian
does seem to fit me too: https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Salmacian