this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2025
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#ManOrBear (WOMEN-ONLY TRANS-INCLUSIVE COMMUNITY: PLEASE ONLY WOMEN COMMENT OR REPLY) (lazysoci.al)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by ZDL@lazysoci.al to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
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Text:

Panel 1 Man and woman in office clothes in a break room.

Man: So, if you were alone in a forest, would you rather run into a strange man… or a bear?

Panel 2 Woman: Oh, hmm… I think the bear.

Man (angry): How can you say that?

(Bear looking quizzically through the window)

Panel 3 Man (angry): You're demonizing men! It's misandry!

Panel 4 Woman: Good point. Why would I ever hear men's reactions?

Man: Exactly! …where did the honey go?

Panel 5 Woman and bear sharing tea

Woman: At least if you maul me, pepper won't say I made it up or I'm misinterpreting.

Bear: I hear you

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[–] dexa_scantron@lemmy.world 57 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I've never been sexually assaulted by a bear" tends to shut this BS down pretty fast in my experience.

[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Tragic but valid point. Plus more women are killed by men than bears....

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[–] mauuumauukittycat@piefed.blahaj.zone 44 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I’d choose the bear, cus they avoid humans, and with certain types of bears, you can make yourself look bigger than them to scare them away (don’t think you can do that with a man)

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 31 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

He specifically says "strange" man.

I don't know that I'd pick that over the wild animals of the forest even as a guy.

In the middle of a forest, the only other humans I'd feel 100% safe running into are ones I already know.

[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 37 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It is truly amazing to me how few people understand even the elementary aspects of risk management.

A known danger is easier to manage than an unknown one.

Bears are dangerous, but largely predictable. They usually don't go after humans at all (and indeed usually go the other direction). And if they seem angry, there's simple things you can do (it rhymes with "back away slowly" because identical rhymes are still rhymes) that will defuse the situation almost immediately.

Men are for the most part decent human beings. Most men you meet will not be monsters. The problem is that there's really no way to distinguish the monsters from the decent men until it's way too late. And extricating yourself from an interaction with a strange man in the forest is not as straightforward as it is for a bear. Backing away slowly might work, or it might trigger that silicon chip inside their brain and slip it to "overload" and make them get angry that you don't trust them. And the penalty for making a bad choice is serious bodily harm as the good outcome. There are worse ones after that.

So just from straightforward risk assessment it's better to meet a bear in the woods than a strange man. Because a bear is more predictable and easier to manage.

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yup.

I grew up with sisters, one of which I was able to discuss this type of stuff with.

It doesn't have to be all men. Because it can be any man.

Some of the conversations I had with her even made me realize that I'm probaly a bit too trusting, and complacent in my being a man.

A stranger doesn't necesserily need to be physically stronger than me to force their will on me, or otherwise cause me harm. Trusting a malicious person just once, can be lethal.

[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 month ago

Thanks for popping in mental edge! Youve made some really interesting points. We're women only, so please don't comment again. 🥰

[–] mister_flibble@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I admit my username is misleading but I am a woman.

I kind of hate this question because I keep feeling like something is wrong with me for picking the man. The biggest threat is neither the man nor the bear, it's the forest. If you're lost in the woods dying of exposure is the biggest danger. As a bear lives in the woods and men by and large do not, encountering a bear would be neutral (as you're kind of in the bear's house) and a man positive if you're lost because a. He's statistically likely to be part of a search party and b. Even if he's not, hell, even if he's the biggest asshole who ever lived, it means you're within walking distance of a way out.

I promise I'm not trying to be a smartass, I genuinely don't get it. I do suspect I may be autistic though...am I just being too literal?

[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're just filling in parts irrelevant to the question with things that undermine the question.

Let me reframe this so the irrelevant parts are handled and you can focus on the question that's actually being asked.

You're in the forest because you're an avid, experienced camper. You have supplies. You have all the tools needed for proper navigation and orienteering. You're in the forest alone because you enjoy the solitude and want to commune with nature to recharge your social batteries or whatever.

While you, an independent woman, fully capable of taking care of your physical needs, and not in any particular desire for social interaction, are in the forest, you have the choice of what to encounter:

  1. A man unknown to you.
  2. A bear.

Which do you choose?

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[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Yep, in North America, that works with black bears, generally.

Not brown/grizzly/kodiak bears though, as drawn in the comic.

They'll just maul you to death.

...

If you are in forests, in areas you're generally likely to encounter any kind of bear in the wild:

With black bears, if they are not with cubs...

...you puff yourself up and shout at them to indimidate them, assuming they are approaching you, and you can scare them off.

If they do attack, the general recommendation is to fight back. Aim for the eyes and snout, and usually they'll retreat.

With brown bears, if they are not with cubs...

...you can wave your hands and talk a normal volume to indicate you are a human and not their common prey... and often they will stand up on their hind legs to scan for, and identify you, and then just avoid you...

... but sometimes they won't, and they will now aggro on you. Brown/kodiak/grizzlies are generally much more aggressive than black bears, and are more likely to attack you.

Also, don't scream shout or shriek at them, thats more likely to make them think you are prey, or that you are trying to intimidate them, which will anger them.

If they do attack you, the advice is play dead.

If you fight back, without some seriously powerful firearms, you'll die.

Even if you do shoot them multiple times with high powered rounds, sometimes, even often, they'll still kill you.

The advice is to play dead, because more people who've been in such an attack encounter who've played dead have survived than those that fought.

Its not guaranteed to work, just better odds.

If you encounter any kind of bear, and they are with their cubs, GTFO as fast and as quietly as you can, without breaking into a sprint, and always keeping your eyes on them.

Any kind of bear is much more likely to be much more aggressive when with their cubs.

...

Also I have found that screaming at, and making aggressive postures and gestures toward men does in fact scare a good number off them off.

Broken up a few bar fights and gotten some guys roofying drinks out of bars that way.

...

Everyone in this thread treating brown and black bears as equivalent, largely predictable threats... does not actually know enough about bears to know how to predict their behavior.

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[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 35 points 1 month ago (7 children)

It's fun watching how many people aren't reading the rules before they comment.

Rule #1 isn't all that unclear.

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[–] WillStealYourUsername@piefed.blahaj.zone 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Edit: Oh this is not 196, ignore. But everyone please keep in mind this community does not allow participation by men.

Also, I will still ban misogyny.

[–] Aqarius@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

this community does not allow participation by men.

Also, I will still ban misogyny.

...

[–] WillStealYourUsername@piefed.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well these sorts of posts tend to invite lots of men to "not all men" a lot.

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[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 month ago

Thanks Linda appreciate you 😊

[–] hedge_lord@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Men's responses to the "man or bear" question perfectly illustrate the point of the question but they just. Don't. Understand. That.

It's not necessarily that a woman is answering the question "man or bear?", it's that everyone in the conversation when she does so can answer "do you respect me or what I have to say at all?" and the answer from men is often a resounding "no!" A bear would just accept someone's answer as her answer and leave it at that.

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[–] LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al 24 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Sorry for all the trolling everyone, and massive thanks to admins who've been protecting us you're amazing 👏

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

At least I get to watch them fly into my blocklist like mosquitos into a bug zapper lol

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[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The real beliefs I think a lot of the people responding secretly hold:

A blonde woman is embracing a very large bear. Text is placed atop the picture reading: "They look so cute and cuddly, but the slightest thing can turn this beautiful creature into something so dangerous and violent that the toughest of men could be killed or maimed for life. Here you can see it cuddling a bear."

[–] blackstampede@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago

This bear in particular is maybe not much better than a dude. He's gettin a little handsy.

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[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 month ago

I really like this comic and sadly it's true. I know nothing about bears and I'm physically disabled so I'm gonna pick the man. I can talk to him, and I know a bit about men but the bear I'm fucked.

[–] jsomae@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Really cute art style here, I love the pooh-bear thing at the end. It's the man that asks for the honey, heh.

I feel like this thought experiment is a shiri's scissor. My take on this is that the worst humans are more dangerous than a wild bear. Here's the quantitative version: what percentile of dangerousness in man would you pick over the bear? For me, I would switch from man to bear at the 90% percentile -- I think the 10% worst men are a riskier proposition than the bear.

[–] insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Point is you don't know whether the man is a good one or not when you bump into him.

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

I agree with you but also, I stand by my assertion: if I'm in nature and see a bear that's good. If I'm asked who I'd rather keep bumping into on a trail, obviously a man, I'll be polite and if he gets too creepy I probably have bear spray.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

I've been reading manga on a site that allows comments after each chapter and holy shit @ the comments any time a female character is in a role even slightly villainous, or even if there's a possibility she might be interested in anyone other than the male protagonist. Comments calling for rape, torture, murder... It even happens in romance genre mangas, where the stakes should only be as high as "will they get together and navigate their issues?"

It's no wonder women choose the bear because with some men, they are one misunderstanding away from the man who supposedly loves them wondering if he "needs" to get extremely violent with them. And somehow they convince themselves that "love" is involved.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've run into both in the woods and I'll take the bear 100% of the time. And yes, I'd even take the bear who had two babies galumphing along behind her. I carry a gun for both encounters and would likely only need it for one.

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