this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2025
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[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Things that never happened

They would immediately know you don’t speak French when you tried to say bonjour

[–] Couldbealeotard@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

I say: "bonjour... Hello" then they know I don't speak French, but try in order to be polite.

[–] WoolyNelson@lemmy.world 15 points 17 hours ago

This happened to me on my honeymoon. I explained to my spouse that we could shop in Montréal without issue by looking bored as we put our shopping on the counter while mumbling "Bonjour," paying the amount displayed (this was... some time ago), them take our bag while mumbling "Merci."

It worked for a few hours, until someone asked about my shirt.

[–] bytesonbike@discuss.online 4 points 15 hours ago

Me in every country I visit.

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

They sure called your bluff!

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 11 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 2 points 9 hours ago

That's all you can say!

[–] tequinhu@lemmy.world 10 points 21 hours ago

Went through something similar hahaha

While in France with my cousin, I started saying "bonjour" "bonsoir" and "mérci", but stopped when he told me: "if you speak in french people will think you actually know how to speak it"

So then I gave up (until I start actually learning)

[–] Cheesus@lemmy.ca 49 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Only in Quebec would a cashier use 'tu' with a customer so freely... It's actually refreshing compared to the formality of everyday interactions in European francophone countries!

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago

I have a friend who just moved here from Australia, she's taking French classes and they're teaching her all formal vous shit and I'm like, we don't really do that, I don't even do that with my grandmother.

It's funny we attract a lot of French people on work travel visas and you can see them get twisted up about it when they're new.

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 day ago

Reminds me of the English varieties in the post-colonial Caribbean countries (Trinidadian, Jamaican). Very informal compared to Received Pronunciation.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Even for customers in their 20s? I’m in Germany and some youngish people actually get annoyed when I use the formal you with them. I would prefer they get annoyed in that direction, so I keep doing it (unless they appear to be at least a decade younger than me or I feel like I actually know them well enough to be informal- my metric is whether I’d feel comfortable making a genuine joke vs. a customer service joke with them), but it’s definitely not helping with any tips.

[–] Cheesus@lemmy.ca 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I'm in my 30s, and haven't lived here in France my whole life, but in general, yes. The only times I've been addressed with tu in a transactional situation was if either a) I knew the person, or b) in a very informal setting, like ordering a beer at a show that was in some farmers' field.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

That’s so interesting! I wonder how it works in Switzerland now, and if there’s a shift between franco- and germanophone areas or if they just split the difference/let Italian or romansh dictate formality.

You’re in your thirties, that’s a complete adult (as am I, even if it doesn’t always feel it). Do you think you’d be offended by someone using tu without knowing you? Or would it feel more like they’re hitting on you/trying to build rapport to sell you something?

[–] Cheesus@lemmy.ca 2 points 11 hours ago

First of all, I'm not French, so take what I say with a grain of salt. My wife however is, and we've talked about this a lot aha. But no, I'd never be offended unless it was used in a way to belittle me, which has never happened. Both of us agree that continuing to use 'vous' with someone you know creates a certain barrier, even a statement if you will. In most situations, if you start to use tu with, for example a salesman/woman, they will reciprocate. It's kinda like as the customer, you've told them that you don't expect to be treated so formally and that you're more comfortable speaking as equals.

I have a great example of this, actually. My wife's parents are quite annoyed that their two daughters in law continue to use vous with them. We think they do it for a couple of reasons. My wife's parents are very Catholic, and all 3 of their children (and their spouses) are quite the opposite. It's almost as if they continue to use vous just to spite them for being so traditional. They also aren't married, tying into the theme. What's strange is my father in law has even said to them to use tu, and they refuse. In contrast, I think I started using tu after the second or third time of meeting them, because for me it's unnatural to speak so formally with people you consider family, and my father in law told my wife (then girlfriend) that it changed our (his and mine's) relationship completely (for the better of course.)

Anyways, as for Switzerland, I'm not sure. The Romands in the Geneva area tend to be a little more formal than the Savoyards in the bordering areas, but other than that I don't really know. This subject fascinates me so I'd love to know myself!

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 71 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I took five years of French in high school and college. I can conjugate the shit out of a subjunctive clause, but hearing people speak French still sounds like szhluhblepluh.

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 43 points 1 day ago (1 children)

To be fair, most French speakers would say the same thing when talking to Quebecois.

[–] avg@lemmy.zip 31 points 1 day ago (2 children)

But that's because the French are assholes, loveable assholes but assholes nonetheless.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I've never met a friendlier group of people who are absolute snobs about proper pronunciation, except English majors who are super into Linux (arch, obv)

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Now I’m just imagining that arch is pronounced unexpectedly. Please don’t correct me, I like my headcanon of “airtch.”

[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It differs even between Linux nerds, at least from my tiny anecdotal pool.

I say Arch like in archery, my best friend says it Arch like Arc or archangel.

¯\(ツ)

[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Maybe more snobby British like Ahhhch

[–] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 51 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Worst shame I felt in my life was trying to check into a hotel in QC, QC in French and the rely being "ID and credit card please." 😭

(But for Montreal when they say Bonjour/Hi they are trying to ask what language you want to be spoken to so it's totally okay to say hi if you are Anglo don't make it more confusing by replying bonjour lol)

[–] lividweasel@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago

Same with federal officials, like at customs, where they typically start with “hello, bonjour”. Reply “bonjour”, and you may quickly reveal yourself to be a francophony.

The bonjour/hi is mostly used where there are higher percentages of english speaking people, so mainly downtown and in the west island.

In neighbourhoods like Villeray or Plateau people will assume you speak french but will switch to english if they see you struggling with it.

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 day ago (3 children)

When I spent 4 weeks in France for business, the biggest compliment I got was that I didn't sound Quebecois. As a Canadian anglophone that only took French in high school, I'll take that as the high praise it is.

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

French people aren't fun (source: am french). The québécois accent is awesome and I love their colloquialisms !

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I've heard the opposite from other gens Français - they described Quebecois as a 400 year old version of the language with vocabulary ride with things like cauldrons and so forth.

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 hours ago

They must have been talking about "calice" or "ciboire", which is not quite right. As far as I know most of the vocabulary they describe comes from some kind of defiance against catholicism and is about holy stuff (calice, ciboire, ostie...), which is quite funny

[–] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They don't teach QC French in canadian schools tho. That's how the anglos get clocked so easily.

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They may not now, but they did.

While I was in France I wanted to buy some chocolate, so I asked the desk clerk at the hotel where a convenience store was. He looked at me like I had two heads. So I asked where to buy chocolate, and he helped me. Later I looked it up - the word I knew for a convenience store is "depanneur", but apparently in continental French that's a mechanic.

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Québécois : le dépanneur

Français de France^© : l'arabe du coin (typically, the ridiculously small and dense convenience stores that are pretty much always open have been run by people with Arab origins). Or we just call them "épicerie" if we don't want to sound casually racist

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[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Tell me about it. My first trip to France to meet my wife's family I went in to pay for gas for the rental car and chatted up the cashier in French. She asked me if I was from Canada and I'm like "fuck yeah, I got this down!"

it wasn't until I actually HEARD Canadian French thet I realized "are you from Canada" in France must be like "bless your heart" in the south.

Edit: Found the Quebequois ;)

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 day ago

Sacred Blue!

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Casheir: Bonjour!

Me: Buenas Tardes!

Casheir: That unintelligible french string I'm not retyping

Me: Para mi dos pollo y dos chorizo, solo cilantro no sevoya, yyyyyy un agua de piña.

Casheir: Qu'est-ce que cela veut dire?

Me: ¿Que?

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Damn, I am a shame to my Spanish teacher of 3 years. That took me too long to figure out.

Lo siento, Señora K, yo no practico...

[–] grue@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What do "para" and "sevoya" mean? I think I got the rest, despite never having taken Spanish.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] grue@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ah, I kinda thought that's what it was, but then doubted myself because the rest of the sentence is omitting the name of the dish.

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

"I'll have a shoe with cheese on it and I want to massage your grandmother."

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Chances are you were busted just by the way of how you pronounced bonjour.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

And, what you're wearing, and the lack of cigarettes, and they way you walk, and lean against the counter, and how close you do or don't stand, and a bunch of other clues.

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[–] BootLoop@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I got "would you like your receipt?" replied to me after saying "bonjour" at a gas station in Quebec.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The French teacher at my high school grew up in France and moved to the US in her 40s, and loves to bring up how often she is in Canada and some places in Quebec, many people refuse to speak to her in French. Every year she would bring up how some places that speak French will critique your accent much harder than others, and you might not get the conversations you hope for.

She says she refuses to speak in English if she's in a primarily French speaking area. Which if you live in a foreign country, I can totally see wanting to stick with your original language whenever possible if only to keep it in your mind. I can't imagine living in a country that wasn't primarily English speaking, not because I don't want to learn and use another language, but because it's a huge change.

Tns of respect for any non native speaker in a foreign country. It can't be easy, even after years of immersion. Don't apologize for your accent, you speak my language infinitely better than I speak yours.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 1 day ago

Faux da fa fa

[–] JizzmasterD@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 day ago

And then the cashier will sigh in relief because it was otherwise going to be a broken French duel.

[–] Meltdown@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Eska vu puré parlé en Anglé, silvuplé?

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

This happened to me at the bar last week. I made like I spoke the language and I usually can get by fine but this time the bartender asked something different, my one weak point.

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