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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2025-07-02 04:02:08+00:00.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Next-Ad5948
Originally posted to r/offmychest
Friend asked if I could babysit their newborn
Editor's note: added paragraph breaks for ease of readability
Trigger Warnings: car accident, possible entitlement
Original Post: June 21, 2025
My friend (23) and his girlfriend (21) are having a child. He is like a brother to me and they have made me the godmother. The baby is not even here yet and he asked if I could babysit his child for July 4th weekend as he is going out of town with his girlfriend and family. The girlfriend is due soon (expected due date June 25th). I told him I’ll let him know if I can next week. But I think it’s quite strange to go on a trip after just having a baby. I feel like they should take time to establish a routine and bond with their newborn. It’s really weird why anyone in his family would even support going on a trip knowing he will have a baby fresh out of the womb.
I am not one to speak on someone’s parenting but from the moment he told me he was having a child he didn’t take it very seriously and tend to have unrealistic expectations. I am not doing anything on July 4th weekend as I was just in a car accident a month ago and still mentally healing but this shouldn’t affect my ability of taking care of the newborn. It’s more so that newborns need to eat every 2-3 hours and need extra care during this time. If I say no I feel like this would deem me as not dependable to babysit in the future.
His girlfriend definitely knows. It’s shocking that a new mother would be willing to leave her newborn after giving birth but I don’t think she’s thinking clearly either. She seems naive and goes with whatever he wants to do in order to satisfy him. I would not be comfortable with doing this if I was her. They both weren’t ready from what I have observed. He got her pregnant after only 3 months of knowing her. He constantly vented to me about their relationship problems and after a while I started to ignore it because he kept pursing her. The relationship seems toxic and they don’t understand how much a child affects their daily lives and won’t know until the child is here.
He also says he lives paycheck to paycheck and the girlfriend doesn’t work but yet he constantly want to go on trips. It is upsetting when people have babies and they are not emotionally or financially prepared. It affects the child the most in the end. I will be reaching out to my friend to discuss my concerns. I think he is still having a hard time processing that he is going to be a father and I have told him on multiple occasions that when you’re a parent you no longer come first. He has yet to understand this. I can only hope that he starts being more mature once the child arrives.
Editor's note: OOP also made the same original post in another sub, I am adding relevant comments from that sub for more context
Relevent Comments
Commenter 1: You're NTA
Although I am the Godmom I wasn’t expecting to babysit so soon
Godmother does not mean on demand babysitter.
Is it typical for people to do this after having a baby
No, it isn't. Mother will still be healing and a weekend away from her brand new baby is probably the last thing she wants. She probably doesn't plan to still go on this trip doesn't even know you were asked to do that.
I am not one to speak on someone’s parenting
I'll do it. He sucks and is in for a huge reality check.
OOP: It was definitely his idea because this is not the only trip that he planned for this year. He has also planned other trips with our friend group but I turned them down as 1) he should be focusing on being a dad and 2) I’d rather save money. I think that once she gives birth she will probably change her mind about going on the trip but she seems to just go with whatever he says.
Commenter 2: NTA I think they're in for a rude awakening about the responsibility of being a parent. The idea that they'll be fine to travel a week after she delivers is wild, I would certainly say no, but I would also ask them if they've talked to their doctor about traveling separate from a one week old child
OOP: I will be expressing to him my concerns about this because his girlfriend does not need to be on a trip right after birth. He never took the pregnancy serious and now that she is about to give birth I think he is still having a hard time with accepting that being a father comes first.
Has OOP been able to communicate with the girlfriend about her feelings on the trip?
OOP: Sad part is I don’t even communicate with his girlfriend. We never established a friendship. They barely knew each other when she got pregnant.
His girlfriend and I do speak when we see each other but it’s nothing more than a hello. I have tried having conversations with her when I see her but it’s mostly small talk which is why I concluded that we don’t communicate. When my friend and I hang out it’s also just me, him and our friend group so we don’t see his girlfriend as much. I was just as shocked when he asked me to be the godmother because wouldn’t she have someone else in mind like a sister or a best friend to be the godmother? Then my friend told me that she knows he wants me to be the god mom and that she is okay with it. I also discovered that sometimes the mom and father each choose their own set of godparents.
Update: June 25, 2025 (four days later)
I recently posted about my friend (23M) and his girlfriend (21F) asking me to babysit their newborn who would have been less than a week old while they go out of town for July 4th weekend.
I am not sure if many of you recall this as I have deleted the post in fear that he may see the post but I thought I would provide you all with an update.
He and his girlfriend was in a carwreck on 6/21/2025. This is also the same day I talked to him about my concerns with babysitting the new born. I did tell him that women need to heal after giving birth and what if the baby comes earlier or later than the expected due date of 6/25/2025. He told me his girlfriend said she will be good and they didn’t think it will be an issue going on the trip.
Shortly after that phone call they got into a wreck. My friend lost control of the vehicle while driving on the highway and hit into the barrier. No other vehicles were involved. Thankfully they are okay and the girlfriend had an early labor. She gave birth to a healthy baby girl on 6/23/2025 born two days early. When I said the baby could come earlier I did not mean it in this way but thank goodness they are all okay.
It’s safe to say they will not be going on the trip anymore. My friend was driving his brother’s car and the brother did not have car insurance so my friend has to pay out of pocket to pay for repairs. Although this may cause a financial strain and may be very stressful since they also have to deal with a newborn it could have been way worse. It’s crazy how life could change in a matter of seconds.
Relevant / Top Comments
Is OOP's friend likely to have a substance abuse problem that could have affected his decisions or actions?
OOP: No. At least not that I know of. He’s just one of those people that don’t think about the long term effects of his actions. He is a good guy but just needs to make better decisions and I try to encourage him to do better but there’s so much I can do.
Commenter 1: Wow. What idiots think it is okay or even possible to leave a newborn with a babysitter in the first weeks? Thats insane, and it shows they have not been reading up very well about newborn care. I hope they will do a bit more research and learning about caring for a newborn. This also should have been a hard no from you OP. Good to hear they are okay, and hope they will grow as parents in the future
Commenter 2: Tell me you’re a pregnant first time parent without telling me you’re a pregnant first time parent. “A week postpartum? Yeah I will be fine going on a vacation, baby will come exactly on time, please watch my newborn” OOF.
Commenter 3: Please keep an eye out for this baby and potential neglect/mistreatment. These people sound like absolutely idiots. Clearly too young and immature to go through with parenthood.
Commenter 4: All I can say is that if anyone had left their newborn kid with me so they could go on getaway, I would have called Child Protective Services the second they were gone. I don’t care if the friendship is lost over it. I would continue to foster that baby if allowed by no way would I ever let such selfish people near that baby!
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP