this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2025
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/28783084

How trying to define ourselves or others define us by assigned sex at birth doesn't serve us and is generally oppressive and incorrect, both scientifically and socially.

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[–] hexagon527@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

disclaimer that i'm a transman who's not nonbinary...

i think we still need these terms, but it's all in how they're used. for example when this host says "...unless it's a part of my journey as a human being" and that's how i feel it should/could be relevant. sometimes trans people are just shooting the shit and are comfortable enough with each other to talk about their transition journey in this way, especially when describing problems they might have had along the way.

i agree it's not really something i would share with a nosy cis person or a nosy anyone. but this is like putting an unnecessary blanket restriction on how people should discuss gender when the community is a spectrum and not everyone is uncomfortable with these terms.

[–] oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

good response, thank you.

In a lot of cases we do fail to see the value in such terms, however, if others want to use those for themselves we aren't going to stop them. Personally we'd hate it if people forced them on us or expected it from us and we don't really want to know what others were assigned at birth. We much prefer trans man, woman, femme, masc, or nonbinary etc because although that kind of tells us some things, it doesn't tell us everything, it still wraps some things in mystery. We also very much dislike mtf, ftm etc as though some may feel that way we don't really feel like gender nor sex works that way exactly. However, again, we aren't going to restrict others if they want to use it, but we do absolutely wonder why people do think that way.

We also, as a side note, think pre-op, post-op is kind of unnecessary for most people to know either, but again, we're not going to stop anyone saying that.

We think these things, like Mars-in-Theory🦋 says are only really necessary in some contexts and like you say some are comfortable sharing them. Personally we don't want to know and don't care unless we're dating someone, that's the only time it really makes a difference to us anyway and even then, we wouldn't want someone or somemany to express it in such a way, more just being specific about what genitals they have and what they prefer in sex, kink, or not, not using such a catchall/general/generic term.

That's just us though.