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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Feisty-Ad276 on 2025-07-12 06:36:51+00:00.
I (26F) have been with my boyfriend ‘Tom’ (29M) for 6 years, we have lived together for 2 years and have 2 cats but we’re not engaged.
I have never pushed him to propose because I am very comfortable in the life we have created and always assumed when he was ready then he will pop the question.
Last week I was told by one of his friends to ‘expect something nice’ for our anniversary. She told me I should get my hair and nails done ‘just because I should look nice for my surprise.’ Which I rightly assumed was a proposal.
On the weekend, I went shopping with one of my friends and bought a new outfit and got my nails done ready for our weekend away, I was telling her how I think I’m getting engaged and how excited I was to spend the rest of my life with Tom.
Last night Tom and I go to leave for dinner from the hotel and I get in my new outfit and spend hours getting ready. When I come out and tell him I am ready he asks if I ‘can actually look nice for once because tonight was special’
I asked him what he meant and he said to me that I always underdress or dress like I’m going to a club when we go to nice places and that I embarrass him. We got in a fight and I ended up walking out and not going to the dinner he had planned to propose to me and I went to my parents house because I was upset.
He text me a few hours after I left and asked when I was coming back because he had plans and wanted to know if I picked up a nice outfit for tonight, when I told him I wasn’t coming back he got very angry and said that he was just trying to help me because I would actually want to look nice for today.
When I told him I didn’t appreciate him saying that I don’t look nice when I had spent so long getting ready he didn’t understand and said he wanted one night where I looked nice and put effort in.
I ended up hanging up on him and haven’t spoken to him since yesterday and his friends have been messaging me asking how the proposal went and I haven’t responded to anybody. He also hasn’t reached out since last night and I don’t know what’s happening now.
My friends tell me I’ve done the right thing and that we need to talk about where we go from here. I love him so much but I don’t know that I can look at him the same after finding out how he truly feels about how I look.
Have I overreacted or have I fucked up?
TLDR: BF was going to propose but told me to actually look nice for once, I stormed out and haven’t spoken to him since last night
EDIT TO ADD:
We were having a staycation 30 minutes from home to go to the Italian restaurant where he asked me to be his girlfriend 6 years ago, it’s not a fancy or expensive restaurant but it’s our favourite.
He was wearing black jeans and a button up short sleeve shirt, I was wearing a floral knee length dress.
Dinner was booked for 7pm and we were leaving the hotel room at 5pm to go for a walk/drinks beforehand.
The dress may not be ‘fancy’ or ‘dressed up’ for most people but it’s the nicest dress I now own and is dressed up for my style