this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2025
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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

I have to wonder if the main reason for this is just embarassment. They like girls, they want to impress said girls. Sucking at the game won't impress them. Especially if the girls also play it and don't suck.

[–] CoolThingAboutMe@aussie.zone 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Ah yes, the old "if I can't impress girls with my skill I'll impress them with belittlement and open hostility instead"

[–] some_random_nick@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

Not to impress, but to push away so they don't witness the embaressment or don't start making fun of them. Remeber, offense is the best defense.

[–] surph_ninja@lemmy.world 49 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I really didn’t appreciate how bad it was, until I witnessed my wife being subjected to this shit.

One time I was playing Star Trek: Bridge Crew with a couple randos. We’d been playing for at least half an hour, and they seemed like nice guys. My wife had just finished watching all of TNG, and she excitedly asked if she could try playing for a round.

The moment my wife’s voice hit the mic, these two neckbeards turned into complete pieces of shit, and started right in on harassing her and talking down. I watched her face sink. She took off the vr headset, and hasn’t touched it since. I don’t think she’s even watched Star Trek since, it was such a sour experience.

And these were the stereotypical ‘I struggle with women’ type of neckbeards. No shit. Maybe if you didn’t treat them as subhuman, one of them might speak to you.

[–] Genius@lemmy.zip 32 points 1 day ago

They don't struggle with women. Struggling implies making an effort. They're just losers.

[–] MITM0@lemmy.world -1 points 12 hours ago

Married men man😂😂

[–] CatDogL0ver@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I remember an E-Game tournament and the last round was a male player vs a female player.

The guy twitted he was going to r*** her [in the game].

Later he defended himself that r*** word is commonly used by online [male] players and people were too serious.

He was disqualified instantly

That's online gamer toxic masculinity.

That must havd been so disappointing; an opponent losing so hard you don't even get to win.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago

Misogyny, not unlike racism or other forms of bigotry are all forms of insecurity.

I think a lot of people have noticed this but it's surprising how many people haven't.

It seems pretty obvious. It's a big red flag. Bigots try to hurt others to feel superior. And they always go after the person in the vicinity that they think will give them the least challenge.

This is why it's up to the rest of us to call them out. Make it so they fear the retribution from harassing others.

[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Try working in social services.

All female-dominated services and agencies, the hatred against men is appalling.

The irony is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

In short, all systems of power, regardless of the identity of the people who make up those systems, reject ANYTHING that disrupts it.

[–] bees@sh.itjust.works 3 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

Nursing in particular is known to have this problem… wish everyone could be nicer to each other :/

[–] dimjim@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 day ago

"Misogyny is a skill issue?".

👨‍🚀 🔫👨‍🚀 "Always has been."

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I mean any women knows this.

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Sure, but studies like this can still be useful for proving it when it counts. Anecdotal evidence isn’t exactly the most reliable, so having controlled studies with actual numbers can be valuable as references when examining things critically.

Yeah but they're more useful for convincing people than scientific studies.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The funny thing is, that's also why we have separate male-female sports categories in all of sports. Back then it was not only easier for women to compete against men due to less advanced nutrition and sports science, but also men placing behind women were also furious, and men regularly got beaten in chess, etc.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Chess is a fun case. There's an unmarked leage and a cis-women's league (last i heard they were terfing hard, i guess trans somen have a natural advantage or something?), and the latter was originally to cut harassment.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 50 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I used to hate when a woman would join our party, because suddenly all the men would be trying to knock eachother down and act up to impress her, and whatever happy little unity we had would crumble quickly.

No fault of the woman's, she just wants to play the game like the rest of us, but as soon as I hear a girls voice I groan inside and "oh here we fucking go"

[–] lousyd@lemmy.sdf.org 21 points 1 day ago (3 children)

When I'm in a male dominated space and a woman joins, I feel myself over-compensating in trying to be welcoming to the woman. I want to be the "good guy". I sort of feel like I should make that effort. But also I'd rather just get on with it and not have to think about it.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Insyead try being the bad guy to the other guys. It's more welcoming a lot of the time and focuses on the axtual problem.

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Yup, same boat. I want to make sure they feel welcomed to the group but I don't want to make them feel like an "other"

[–] SonOfAntenora@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I'm either good enough to play a game rather good or absolutely painfully unaware of how to handle it, I don't have the time to be hateful towards other players at all, not that I want that.

Sometimes you just need to change game or stop playing before acting like a terrible person. Nobody is that terrible they usually learn it. Competitive games are breeding ground for this logic as they reward toxicity more or less openly.

If you're turned off by this, good. It means you have standards. I know we like to keep mentioning these mw2 lobbies, but in comparison with this they were tame. The hatred on these platforms feels more real than what it used to be.

[–] Gaja0@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

It physically hurts to recall starving for the attention of a member of the opposite sex.

[–] CatDogL0ver@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What game? Most competitive e game guy players iI have encountered are hostile to women players.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

MMOs mostly, Rappelz I spent the most time in. I noticed it a lot in Destiny raids too though.

I almost never partied up in competitive games. You only get to get a team wanting to stay together after you have a really good game, and thats only ever because the enemy team sucked. As soon as you come up against a team better than the one you built your fairweather friends turn nasty.

[–] MITM0@lemmy.world -3 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

The same evolutionary psychology that white supremacists use to justify their racism. Not only that as one comment pointed out; the research wasn't even crystal clear.

Interesting, what a coincidence, I wonder if the OP is a CollectiveShout Collaborator

[–] FuckFascism@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Damn, bro got skill checked, got no diffed, got glizzied on, got slam dunked, misogyny: 0 everyone else: 1

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What on earth does the middle of that even mean? Urban dictionary was able to help a little with "glizzy" but I couldn't find a way to turn into a verb that makes sense. No clue what "no diffed" is supposed to mean. Diff as in difference?

I like to think there's glitter involved.

[–] SGforce@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Difficulty?

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Who knew it is all about asserting dominance. There is a study which showed monkeys with small penises howl the loudest. Not too dissimilar from humans who loves to overcompensate.

edit: wording

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do they also get to be president? Or is that purely a human problem?

[–] sykaster@feddit.nl 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Most of them buy huge 4x4 pickup trucks

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

Not every day you see a monkey driving a pickup

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 57 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

"Misogyny is a skill issue".

Women-hating PUAs/incels explained succinctly! But when the average man in your community has that 'skill issue', it becomes a cultural problem.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

so the solution to misogyny is to git gud?

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Probably more like "be wise enough to understand the world and yourself without feeling overwhelmed by it" because almost invariably the reason people have so much venom for the "other" is due to their own insecurities and misconceptions ("if I make you feel bad about yourself and you accept it/don't fight it, I'm better than you and that gives me enough fuel not to collapse"), but I guess 'skill issue' is succint, lol.

[–] stratoscaster@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago

I would say it's both that and also the world just not caring about them, and misogynistic red pill communities pretending to care and have all the answers

[–] Talaraine@fedia.io 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And here I am reminiscing about THIS being our greatest problem in society.

[–] manigordo@lemy.lol 10 points 1 day ago

Not the greatest perhaps, but a problem still.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I read a book a while back that was called a "guide to mating" or something that was actually pretty decent and included some very objectively anthropological / sociological explanations of why if you're ugly you better at least be a good person. "Well why should I have you be nice if the hot guys don't?" Look dude do you wanna fuck or not? Weird that some guys will only hear that from another man but...

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 51 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If someone needs to be promised sex to be a good person, it's likely they'll simply never be a good person.

[–] Genius@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

Well that's the plot of season 1 of The Good Place. Can someone become good for selfish reasons? Can it become a matter of habit to the point it's no longer selfish? Or will their motivation always be corrupt?

[–] DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

this is sad