this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2025
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For masculine identifying folks, what were the things you did (or had happen to you) that you feel helped you transition into adulthood and find fulfilling community?

Statistics suggest that a large number of men feel isolated, unvalued by society, and dysfunctional, but it's not 100%.

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[–] Tollana1234567 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

masculine is specific, do you mean as earning a muscular body, some people only feel good if they have attractive body.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I think they just meant cishet men. Unless the language changed again. Its nearly impossible to bring up the concept without having people jumping down your throat about it.

[–] DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago

"Masculine identifying" generally opens the table to trans men and Non-binary Trans masculine people. Basically anyone who aligns themselves with and finds comfort in expressing masculinity.

[–] Tollana1234567 1 points 1 week ago

probably confusing it with hypermasculinity

[–] MorkofOrk@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

The biggest thing that helped me was art. I've played music most of my life, and made the decision to move out to a city with a great music scene 4 years ago where I knew nobody. It took me 3 years of exploring open mic communities and such for me to finally find the one for me. Built up an amazing friend group from there and I feel so emotionally and artistically fulfilled now! I was so lonely those first 3 years, but the second I found my people it was night and day. I think the best thing everyone can do is hone in on a hobby you love and connect with the community surrounding it if you can, sometimes the hobby can be enough too though!

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Found someone I love to spend my life with and give me something to strive for.

[–] cymbal_king@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

On the fulfilling community aspect, I found that at my Unitarian Universalist (UU) church. UU's don't believe in a shared religious text, instead they have a core set of shared values. My church has people who identify as atheist, Christian, several types of pagan, Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim, etc. We celebrate religious holidays from all of them as well as secular holidays like Trans Day of Visibility and Earth day. The focus is on being together and trying to make the world a better place. I also really like the music program. There's a handy website to find a congregation near you, many stream services on Zoom so you can test them out before going in person.

[–] reptar@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hey thanks for this. I think I'll. Check one out on Sunday

[–] cymbal_king@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

You're welcome!

I'll let you know as soon as I do.

[–] TheMinister@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

Started taking my meds

[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Just don't die and get old

[–] tasankovasara@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Becoming a father at 28, after realising that is what I want from life; going deeper into the realm of love, wanting to live out the unconditional, unfaltering love for my own offspring. Finding the perfect person to go down that rabbit hole with, getting married, and less than a year later we have our first child.

It was all so easy and natural, made manifest by two people sharing this simple dream. A solid foundation was cast, I got to see firsthand that I can do this just as good as I hoped.

Something also happened before in my mid-20s. I was on a bit of a blue streak. Ended up taking an introductory course to zen sitting meditation. Two sessions was enough. Realised there's a photocopier in my head that spews out thoughts, some of them ugly. I couldn't turn it off, but I could refrain from reading the papers. Found inner peace right there and it has stuck.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago

Mainly self-delusion 😌

[–] mcbenavides85@piefed.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

Antidepressants

[–] couldhavebeenyou@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

By having a massive schlong

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

People with one rarely feel the need to assert such.

[–] sunzu2@thebrainbin.org 1 points 2 weeks ago

Paying off debt and getting a stack of cash.

Being able to take care of people.

In that order.

But then you still realize how the entire thing is a house of cards. And you are still a peasant, with a few extra lives.

But that's about as good as it gets for the working people.

The only real solution is quit being poor and that's pretty much unreachable for like 80% of population.

[–] Montagge@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago

Spending copious amounts of time thinking while out hunting or fishing.

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